10 January, 2021

Death & Dying (Pagan Resources)

Hey, Readers,

This post has been sitting in my Drafts folder here for the past year, just about. 2020 saw a lot of unnecessary death, and though I had been planning to share this beforehand, once certain events occurred last year, it no longer seemed appropriate timing to share. On the other hand, maybe some people would have considered it the perfect time to discuss death and dying and grief resources, but to me it felt like it may be construed as "using" the situation to seem relevant, get more views, or whatever. It truly just wasn't the best timing. So I've saved this post, and now, here it is.

Early last year, someone wrote to someone I work with, asking for help finding information about Pagan beliefs and practices around death and grief. The questions were forwarded on to me, and this was my response at the time. I saved it in case it could be helpful to others. Now it's been another year, and I'm sure there are other resources that can be mentioned (I think a few new books on the subject have come out more recently, though I haven't read them yet), but this was my answer as it stood at that time, early last year.


The Questions:
  1. What are beliefs about death and dying?
  2. What is the belief about autonomy or self-determination regarding treatment or end of life decision making? (Who makes treatment decisions, how much information does the dying person want, etc)
  3. What are the death rituals? Is there a focus on burial and/or cremation?
  4. How does bereavement play out -- are there expected practices after someone has died?
  5. Is there anything that individuals do in order to help with the grieving or bereavement process? (Ex. therapy, community organization)

And my response was as follows:


My top resource, and one I'm happy I FINALLY got around to reading last year (2019), is
  • The Pagan Book of Living & Dying: Practical Rituals, Prayers, Blessings, and Meditations on Crossing Over by Starhawk, M. Macha Nightmare & The Reclaiming Collective (1997)
It starts with explaining some basic beliefs, and includes personal stories of dealing with death and loss, as well as rituals, prayers, etc. and even resource information about Living Wills vs. Last Will & Testament, health care proxy, all kinds of info. There are rituals for remembering loved ones after they are gone, as well as practices and support for the dying while they are still with us. This is THE resource on this topic -- the main one I've ever heard recommended by others, and certainly the best I've read on the overall subject. This would be the one to answer those questions about things like autonomy and self-determination, personal preferences people might have for burial vs cremation, as well as bereavement and what we do when people die.


By contrast, many resources would answer that first question about the basic "beliefs about death and dying." I'm sure I don't know them all -- most books tend to include the respective tradition's or author's personal views on basic things like the afterlife, reincarnation, etc.
  • Eight Sabbats for Witches by Janet & Stewart Farrar includes a chapter on Requiem, and talks about their personal/traditional views on death, including a ritual for Requiem as their coven/tradition would do it (Eight Sabbats comes from an Alexandrian Wiccan perspective).
  • Raymond Buckland's Complete Book of Witchcraft talks about reincarnation, afterlife, and beliefs about "between lifetimes" in Lesson Two, and Lesson Eight provides short rituals for rites of passage such as birth, marriage, and death.
  • Circle Round: Raising Children in Goddess Traditions by Starhawk, Diane Baker, and Anne Hill touches on how to approach the subject of death with children, and includes some simple practices and ideas for things like honoring the passing of our animal friends, too.

Those are just a few titles off the top of my head that I've looked at recently, but most books about Paganism & Witchcraft will at least briefly discuss the basic beliefs of that author and whatever tradition perspective they come from. The above texts are mainly from Wiccan and Reclaiming Witchcraft perspectives, and their beliefs and practices are likely to be different than other Earth-centered paths, such as Druidry, for example. There is some overlap of common beliefs, but depending on how specific the research, there are probably better resources from those other traditions/paths themselves. I don't already know a Druid text about this topic, if someone were looking for that, but I would start by looking around the website for the Order of Bards, Ovates, and Druids (OBOD) at druidry.org -- or contact them for some Druid specific resources to get that perspective. Every tradition is likely to have their own specific rituals and beliefs.

YouTube also has many resources for hearing about individuals' personal views on death & dying. I know we've talked about it on the PaganPerspective channel I'm part of many times over the years. You may also be able to find resources online from Pagans who work as "Death Doulas" or do similar work specifically with the dying.

It will always come down to personal beliefs, of course -- not all Pagans believe the same way about anything, haha -- but there is usually a very basic look at what each tradition/path believes about death in any sort of "beginner" book. And there is much more in depth information and practices in The Pagan Book of Living & Dying, which is the only one I know of that is really set out specifically as a resource about death, grief, and loss, and they attempt to make it relevant to as many people as possible. You don't have to be part of their tradition in order to benefit from the suggested work. It's more a handbook to learn and then apply to your situation as needed.


I hope that helps!

Blessings~
-Cara-


And indeed, I hope this helped anyone who may find this blog in the future! Again, this isn't a perfect or completely exhaustive response, by any means, but it is how I was able to answer someone's question within the past year. So if you are wondering the same, here is one response with a few ideas for how to start finding answers. 😊

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