It is Noon on a Saturday.
Everything is quiet. The cat sleeps soundly. The plants stretch toward the window glass. Blankets drape effortlessly. Pillows hunch together for warmth. The light, diffused, soft, comforting.
You'd never know the world was falling apart.
In our heads, in our hearts.
The snow that silently fell outside this morning gave everything the feeling of living inside a snow globe. Only the snow is outside. We live in the dollhouse within the glass bubble, crafted by the hand of an unseen artisan. And that's no metaphor for Creation. Do not be confused.
The world outside is tilted.
Is it the bubble, knocked off its base on the mantle of the gods, that skews the outside? Or is it the outside world itself that leans and veers off somewhere we can't see from here, whence the wind comes?
The snow has already gone. Melted. The Sun, though weak today, is still the Sun.
The quiet is broken. People stomp overhead. Who are our neighbors in this Doll's House?
Who will be the first to walk out, and slam the door?
-C-
Showing posts with label poetry. Show all posts
Showing posts with label poetry. Show all posts
19 November, 2016
14 May, 2014
A Threshold Path (Poem)
Hey, Readers!
Long time no see, eh? I've been meaning to update, and of course there are several things I could have written about, I just haven't made the time in my busy schedule lately. Tonight, I got online intending to spend an hour or so answering messages and emails, and then watching a few videos. Well, a few hours later, I was still answering messages, and now I have a list of topics to mention next time I do a video.
One thing I will mention is the impetus for this post, which is that I received an email notification of a comment left here on my blog. The comment was letting me know that I have been added to the Pagan Blog Directory! And there is a brand new blog button on the sidebar of my blog to prove it. =) (Shown to the right, here.)
The directory was evidently lost, so it's being redone, so if you know of any blogs that used to be on it, please submit them to the directory so they may be re-added. Likewise, if you know of any that you would like to see on the list that may not have been before (I do not believe I was on it before, or if I was, I wasn't notified then), let them know! There are separate directories for websites and things like Facebook Pages, but this specific one is for blogs. And do use it to find others to follow!
As for the title of this post, I was prodded by the manner in which my blog is listed in the directory. The Witchy Stuff is listed under the category "Wicca." This may seem obvious to those of you who know me as a Wiccan, but it is less so to me, being the one living my path. Now is a good time to put down some thoughts I've been having for a while now, some of which I've expressed in the past, some which have gone unspoken, and some altogether relatively new. And, well, apparently it's going to be in poem form. Enjoy.
~
My path began with a Wiccan tilt, with Cunningham and Ravenwolf,
with mama's Native influence and my own love of this green Earth.
I read and studied, practiced, erred, and kept it secret for a while
Until I felt more comfortable with calling "Wiccan" my own style.
But I was young and all the Wiccans on the internet weren't fond
of my quite broken lineage and lack of ini-ti-a-tion.
They said I wasn't one of them, that my beliefs were not enough,
that I had to be taught, somehow, and if I didn't do that, tough.
But I, resilient, knowledge-lead, had some informants of my own
who gave me confidence to tread, and so I came into my own.
"I am a Wiccan," I would say, "though eclectic and solit'ry"
and over years a Wiccan Witch is how I have come known to be.
Yet over time, from year to year, my knowledge and experience grow
and less often am I comfortable with names by which I used to go.
I still have Wiccan beliefs, yes, and I intend to keep that part
of my young path, wherever I go, because it spoke to my young heart.
But as of late, the general term of "Pagan" more appeals to me.
Yet when I use it, I am sometimes struck by what the others see.
In arguments sometimes, when I attempt to hold a wider view,
speaking from my Universal tendencies and attitudes,
"You're only speaking from a Wiccan point of view," I now am told,
"That's the Wiccan way of things." Thus the verdict they behold.
And yes, I cede, I do come from a Wiccan sort of origin,
But can I never branch back out from somewhere I was not let in?
The traditional Wiccans never claimed me (so I never claimed to be one of them),
and now the general Pagans shame me, too much Wiccan, then again.
Not enough for the one extreme, but too much one for this, the other.
And where exactly does that leave me? On my own path, same as ever.
An in between is where I walk, a balance on the railroad tracks.
Balance is my major goal, and here I walk, a threshold path.
It's neither in nor is without, nor is it perfect dark or light,
it isn't kin or kind to yours, and it contains both "wrong" and "right."
Is it "Wiccan"? Who could know? Some say yes, and others, no.
The thing I'm sure of is that there is always forward left to go.
From one exit, another entrance. Another threshold left to meet.
And lifetimes hence from what's "complete." And miles to go before I sleep.
Blessings~
-C-
Long time no see, eh? I've been meaning to update, and of course there are several things I could have written about, I just haven't made the time in my busy schedule lately. Tonight, I got online intending to spend an hour or so answering messages and emails, and then watching a few videos. Well, a few hours later, I was still answering messages, and now I have a list of topics to mention next time I do a video.
One thing I will mention is the impetus for this post, which is that I received an email notification of a comment left here on my blog. The comment was letting me know that I have been added to the Pagan Blog Directory! And there is a brand new blog button on the sidebar of my blog to prove it. =) (Shown to the right, here.)The directory was evidently lost, so it's being redone, so if you know of any blogs that used to be on it, please submit them to the directory so they may be re-added. Likewise, if you know of any that you would like to see on the list that may not have been before (I do not believe I was on it before, or if I was, I wasn't notified then), let them know! There are separate directories for websites and things like Facebook Pages, but this specific one is for blogs. And do use it to find others to follow!
As for the title of this post, I was prodded by the manner in which my blog is listed in the directory. The Witchy Stuff is listed under the category "Wicca." This may seem obvious to those of you who know me as a Wiccan, but it is less so to me, being the one living my path. Now is a good time to put down some thoughts I've been having for a while now, some of which I've expressed in the past, some which have gone unspoken, and some altogether relatively new. And, well, apparently it's going to be in poem form. Enjoy.
~
My path began with a Wiccan tilt, with Cunningham and Ravenwolf,
with mama's Native influence and my own love of this green Earth.
I read and studied, practiced, erred, and kept it secret for a while
Until I felt more comfortable with calling "Wiccan" my own style.
But I was young and all the Wiccans on the internet weren't fond
of my quite broken lineage and lack of ini-ti-a-tion.
They said I wasn't one of them, that my beliefs were not enough,
that I had to be taught, somehow, and if I didn't do that, tough.
But I, resilient, knowledge-lead, had some informants of my own
who gave me confidence to tread, and so I came into my own.
"I am a Wiccan," I would say, "though eclectic and solit'ry"
and over years a Wiccan Witch is how I have come known to be.
Yet over time, from year to year, my knowledge and experience grow
and less often am I comfortable with names by which I used to go.
I still have Wiccan beliefs, yes, and I intend to keep that part
of my young path, wherever I go, because it spoke to my young heart.
But as of late, the general term of "Pagan" more appeals to me.
Yet when I use it, I am sometimes struck by what the others see.
In arguments sometimes, when I attempt to hold a wider view,
speaking from my Universal tendencies and attitudes,
"You're only speaking from a Wiccan point of view," I now am told,
"That's the Wiccan way of things." Thus the verdict they behold.
And yes, I cede, I do come from a Wiccan sort of origin,
But can I never branch back out from somewhere I was not let in?
The traditional Wiccans never claimed me (so I never claimed to be one of them),
and now the general Pagans shame me, too much Wiccan, then again.
Not enough for the one extreme, but too much one for this, the other.
And where exactly does that leave me? On my own path, same as ever.
An in between is where I walk, a balance on the railroad tracks.
Balance is my major goal, and here I walk, a threshold path.
It's neither in nor is without, nor is it perfect dark or light,
it isn't kin or kind to yours, and it contains both "wrong" and "right."
Is it "Wiccan"? Who could know? Some say yes, and others, no.
The thing I'm sure of is that there is always forward left to go.
From one exit, another entrance. Another threshold left to meet.
And lifetimes hence from what's "complete." And miles to go before I sleep.
Blessings~
-C-
12 December, 2012
Pre-Yule Update
Hey, Readers,
Lots to do, no time at all in which to do it! That goes for my personal life as well as my interpersonal relationships, spiritual practice, day job... You name it. We're always reaching for time, time, time.
It's no wonder I take such pleasure in time travel-centered television shows and movies. While I would never want to change anything, I can relate to the feeling of endless time and space.
As you probably know, I am now living at Grams' house. My mother and her husband have not left yet, but everyone thinks my anxiety and anger at this time is due to their immanent departure. I guarantee that this is not so. Everyone clings to an acceptable answer and crowds around giving me advice for that supposed reality. But the truth is, hardly anyone who's bothering to console me could even take the time to understand what's really wrong. I let them go on thinking the most simple of answers. I save the rest for my close friends, boyfriend, and vague mentions on the internet that I can look back on later.
Due to the move, my day job, and visiting my boyfriend in my major time off, I've had no time to organize anything. I made my bed and put my clothes away in various dressers (I have extra furniture here!). Downstairs, I arranged my futon with mom's showcase as a coffee table on the floor, and my cousin and I hung an old-fashioned lamp from the ceiling above it. My books are (mostly) on shelves, but not in my usual order yet. All the craft supplies are at least in one area of the room, if not all put away. It is a very gradual process. I work all day, come home and eat and maybe take a nap because I'm so tired all the time, and then do whatever is necessary for the day. As you can imagine, this does not always include organizing a section of my life. Very infrequently does it mean time for "practice" in the formal sense, though I keep my usual spiritual elements of daily life throughout.
You know, some people would arrange their altars first, and let the rest of their life take shape from there. I didn't. My altar tables are in general locations, but they are not set up. Instead I focused on my beds, getting my cat comfortable in her new surroundings, and making sure my uniforms for work were all in a reachable location. I set up my "relationship altar," however--the space of reminders of my boyfriend who is attending grad school three hours away. That, and my yoga mat, were kept close at hand from the start.
And though it's fast approaching and it seems I'll have nothing put together by then, I will be doing something for Yule. This will be the first year I celebrate Yule with other people. I'm not exactly sure what will happen, since I was invited to several things, but I hope to find out whether or not those things are all happening fairly soon so I can plan. One is happening some distance away and is a solstice celebration that my former director is hosting, so I know it's not a solely pagan event as he's a Universal minister, not pagan himself. Another is just that the women's group I attended a few times normally does things for holidays, so I thought their monthly meeting might be for Yule, but I haven't heard any plans yet. The third is more complicated: I addressed some "pagan" "friends" of mine about having constantly turned down my invitations to practice or celebrate together over the years, about ignoring my suggestions but turning around and advertising it themselves as though they thought of it all, etc. They completely missed the important points and instead of truly seeking to rectify the issues, they thought it would be enough to just invite me to celebrate Yule with them. I said I would like to have a bonfire, which is the only thing they could think of, but the Universal event is the same night because they're all doing it on solstice night. So I'm just not sure what will end up happening.
My boyfriend will be away for the entire holiday season, which is why I used my time off last weekend to visit him instead of unpacking my life into the new house. Everyone else in my family will be with the people they are romantically involved with (if they have them, which most do. Here I think of Grams, whose loving husband has been gone for some years. But even he will be with us). Yet I will have to celebrate the winter holidays without my other half for the first time in years.
There is a lot to contend with in my physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual lives. A lot to give over to the darkness, a lot to bring forth from the light.
-----
so much depends
upon
a length of
time
pushed and pulled
taught
within a set
reality
-----
With thanks to W.C.W.
Blessings~
-C-
Lots to do, no time at all in which to do it! That goes for my personal life as well as my interpersonal relationships, spiritual practice, day job... You name it. We're always reaching for time, time, time.
It's no wonder I take such pleasure in time travel-centered television shows and movies. While I would never want to change anything, I can relate to the feeling of endless time and space.
As you probably know, I am now living at Grams' house. My mother and her husband have not left yet, but everyone thinks my anxiety and anger at this time is due to their immanent departure. I guarantee that this is not so. Everyone clings to an acceptable answer and crowds around giving me advice for that supposed reality. But the truth is, hardly anyone who's bothering to console me could even take the time to understand what's really wrong. I let them go on thinking the most simple of answers. I save the rest for my close friends, boyfriend, and vague mentions on the internet that I can look back on later.
Due to the move, my day job, and visiting my boyfriend in my major time off, I've had no time to organize anything. I made my bed and put my clothes away in various dressers (I have extra furniture here!). Downstairs, I arranged my futon with mom's showcase as a coffee table on the floor, and my cousin and I hung an old-fashioned lamp from the ceiling above it. My books are (mostly) on shelves, but not in my usual order yet. All the craft supplies are at least in one area of the room, if not all put away. It is a very gradual process. I work all day, come home and eat and maybe take a nap because I'm so tired all the time, and then do whatever is necessary for the day. As you can imagine, this does not always include organizing a section of my life. Very infrequently does it mean time for "practice" in the formal sense, though I keep my usual spiritual elements of daily life throughout.
You know, some people would arrange their altars first, and let the rest of their life take shape from there. I didn't. My altar tables are in general locations, but they are not set up. Instead I focused on my beds, getting my cat comfortable in her new surroundings, and making sure my uniforms for work were all in a reachable location. I set up my "relationship altar," however--the space of reminders of my boyfriend who is attending grad school three hours away. That, and my yoga mat, were kept close at hand from the start.
And though it's fast approaching and it seems I'll have nothing put together by then, I will be doing something for Yule. This will be the first year I celebrate Yule with other people. I'm not exactly sure what will happen, since I was invited to several things, but I hope to find out whether or not those things are all happening fairly soon so I can plan. One is happening some distance away and is a solstice celebration that my former director is hosting, so I know it's not a solely pagan event as he's a Universal minister, not pagan himself. Another is just that the women's group I attended a few times normally does things for holidays, so I thought their monthly meeting might be for Yule, but I haven't heard any plans yet. The third is more complicated: I addressed some "pagan" "friends" of mine about having constantly turned down my invitations to practice or celebrate together over the years, about ignoring my suggestions but turning around and advertising it themselves as though they thought of it all, etc. They completely missed the important points and instead of truly seeking to rectify the issues, they thought it would be enough to just invite me to celebrate Yule with them. I said I would like to have a bonfire, which is the only thing they could think of, but the Universal event is the same night because they're all doing it on solstice night. So I'm just not sure what will end up happening.
My boyfriend will be away for the entire holiday season, which is why I used my time off last weekend to visit him instead of unpacking my life into the new house. Everyone else in my family will be with the people they are romantically involved with (if they have them, which most do. Here I think of Grams, whose loving husband has been gone for some years. But even he will be with us). Yet I will have to celebrate the winter holidays without my other half for the first time in years.
There is a lot to contend with in my physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual lives. A lot to give over to the darkness, a lot to bring forth from the light.
-----
so much depends
upon
a length of
time
pushed and pulled
taught
within a set
reality
-----
With thanks to W.C.W.
Blessings~
-C-
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