Whoa. Hey, Readers! Been a while, yeah?
So sorry about the delay. I've been busy, and also recently without internet at home. Long story, but I'm leaving it that way at least temporarily, because while having internet at home could make certain things a LOT easier (uploading videos, responding to emails, emailing card readings, etc.), it's also been encouraging me to do other things around the house, and also make time to see some friends who I don't hang out with as often as I should. =)
Anyway. Do you have ANY idea what a year it's been?
If you're tuned into your own spiritual wavelengths and Universal Radio Stations, if you will, then I believe you do. You have a pretty epic idea of what a year it's been. Holy crap, right?
This year, I've been doing a lot more work with listening to my messages from the Universe and actually trying to answer them, accept the Challenges given to me, and so on. It's not been easy. I've talked a bit about it on my YouTube channel: in March when I talked about my first feelings of going through a certain shift, several times when I alluded to the messages I'd been receiving, at the end of April when I finally talked about what my first message of the year was, the "Universal Shift" video I posted when my first message began to change into yet another message, and most recently, a vague update about how much my life has been changing as a result of listening to and acting upon these messages and Challenges.
Phew! It's been a year.
And in the true spirit of synchronicity (with which I have a love/hate relationship, as most of us likely do), I've had some repetitive symbols or signs throughout the year which, in my most unsure moments, continually reassured me that I was... that I am... on the right track.
Have you seen that coming up a lot? Heard it? Felt it?
I started listening to a Ginger Doss album that someone gave me, and it includes a song with lyrics about being a warrior. The theme of Cleveland Pagan Pride this year was "Warriors at the Crossroads." The workshop before mine was about gods of war and us as warriors. In one of my tough moments in coming to terms with decisions being made in my life, someone referred to me as a warrior.
Again, the theme of Pride. Hecate. The general feeling of being at a place in life where you could literally go any direction. And MORE THAN ONCE when listening to my lamentations about how difficult this shift has been for me and how hard the changes are to deal with, multiple people used the word "crossroads" when describing my situation.
I was driving along the interstate, going to an event, asking for yet another message, just one more thing to let me know, is this REALLY what I should be doing? Is this REALLY where I need to be going? Am I doing the right thing?
A semi-truck pulled into my lane in front of me. Inscribed with a thick finger into the dirt and grime and dust on the back door of the truck was a haphazard Christian cross figure, accompanied by the words,
"this is ur sign"
Okay, but like, is that a sign to MAKE the change, or to stay put?
Cara, Cara, Cara... the Universe has been more than patient. And it knows I'm never quick to convince.
But then I knew. The signs are never about staying put. The signs are ALWAYS a push to change.
And the Universe knows me well enough to know that I will accept a message from ANY religion. I had to laugh. Of course I cried. And I accepted a change.
It hasn't been easy. It's gotten easier, certainly. And there has been so much good already! There are good days and bad days, just as usual in life. There are days where I wonder what on Earth it is we're being prepared for, and why did I have to make this change now, and how long before I'm totally okay with it, if I ever will be? Then there are days when I trust in the Universe completely, and live one day at a time, living and loving and relishing the sweet, ecstatic moments, knowing that they couldn't have happened without this change. Knowing that I will have bad days again. Not letting that ruin the good ones.
No guilt. No fear. No regrets.
Just love. All Love.