Hey, Readers,
It took me three EXTRA LONG tries to upload my Pagan Perspective video this week about trance work. It finally posted today, a day late, while I was at rehearsal. I made it public even though Eric's video was already up by then, so his video shows at the Featured Video today. But that's okay, people will find it! Not everyone watches our videos on the first day they're up, anyway.
So because it took so long to put the video up, and because I had a script written out that I used for the video, I thought I would post the text version here. The video does vary slightly from this script, and I elaborated a little more on a couple things in the video. Otherwise, this basically covers it! It was a short video this week (so I thought it would upload quicker, but noooo, I had to have trouble!).
This week's topic:
from MrAbhainn [pron.: owh-anne] / Níall
--"I'd like to hear your thoughts on the growing trend of trance work in modern paganism and witchcraft. With a collection of Traditional Wiccans and Ecstatic Witches on the channel as well as solitaries whose individual paths are varied should be interesting. Trance work is a large area so I am as always very open to people interpreting as they will, whether it be trance seership/prophecy or possession such as with loas or orishas. Drawing down the Moon/Sun is another form or godform assumption."
Script:
--Trance work is not just in paganism/witchcraft. It is found in many religions and spiritualities, and even non-religious environments where the focus is more on what actually does on in our body and mind.
--I think it's really popular because there are so many different ways to go about it that people who are interested in it don't have to do something they're uncomfortable with, they can use another method that fits them. Just like meditation in general. A lot of things that people hear are beneficial or just really cool, such as meditation, yoga, lucid dreaming, ecstatic dancing, or generally reaching an "altered state of consciousness", are elements of trance. Daydreaming or getting really focused on a specific task is also trance, any time you slip into another level of consciousness or focus and other things are sort of blocked out.
--I don't personally know about any GROWING trend within the community, because so much of trance work is what I think of as things that the pagan-related community already does, like meditation or astral travel or any number of things. So I can't really comment on why I think there is a growth in the trend because I'm not directly involved enough to have observed an increase from the past until now.
--However, with the mention of seership, possession, and so on, I will say that I have never used trance with the goal of having another spirit speak through me, or anything. It's usually on my own and any messages I receive are for me so it doesn't have to do with another spirit coming into mine or using mine to communicate audibly, as with Oracles or seers.
--For me trance is all about getting to another level of consciousness where messages can come through or skills can be worked on, but it's never about bringing those things through to someone else or being a transmitter, although I do recognize that as another part of trance, but it's not what I personally have worked on.
--Drawing Down the Moon for me is not about bringing the Goddess physically into me and speaking through me or acting as the Goddess, it's just about connection to that energy and where it already lies within me. That's probably a difference due to solitary practice versus coven work, but that's what it is for me.
--There are four links in the description to pages I looked at when refreshing myself on what is considered trance: Wikipedia, a Wiccan page, a blog from someone exploring trance in their own way, and a psychotherapy site. So all that should provide a decent overview of the same basic topic from different perspectives.
That's all I have for this week. Thank you very much for watching, &c.
Resources:
1) http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Trance
2) http://bluemoonwicca.org/trance.html
3) http://herbalwitchcraft.com/blog/2011/10/05/beginning-with-trancework/
4) http://meridianpsych.com/trance-therapy/
Blessings~
-C-
19 June, 2013
16 June, 2013
Updates and Upcomings
Hey, Readers,
This post is going to be full of links!
I want to take this opportunity to tell you what's been going on and what's coming up, as I recently posted an "Update" video on my YouTube channel, so this is another place to update. I'll talk a bit about what's been going on online, what's upcoming, and then also what's been going on/upcoming in my personal life.
Online:
What's passed:
This post is going to be full of links!
I want to take this opportunity to tell you what's been going on and what's coming up, as I recently posted an "Update" video on my YouTube channel, so this is another place to update. I'll talk a bit about what's been going on online, what's upcoming, and then also what's been going on/upcoming in my personal life.
Online:
What's passed:
- I spent a week at my younger brother's house, during which time we made a few videos together. We visited a waterfall, searched for my cat, and then hiked around a bit a few days later. (I also went to another park on my own.) There is at least one more topic we want to do a video about, which we may visit at a later date. It is metaphysical-related, so I'll keep it a secret until we do the video, but it should be enjoyable!
- I posted an update video, as I said.
- This past week on Pagan Perspective was on elements and how we work with them. The week before that was on Books of Shadows and other sorts of books we keep.
What's to come:
- I'm currently uploading the next video that I said in my update video was coming up--an update of my 2009 "Five Must Haves" video. This video talks a bit about physical items I feel I "must have" for my practice (meaning the things I LIKE to have), but also gets into non-physical traits and qualities that I feel allow me to practice the way I do, such as honesty, humility, and so on.
- After that video, the next two uploads will be about coming out of the broom closet. The first video is about how I told my family (mother, Rev. Rose) about my path and how I worked it out with her, which I've talked about before, but I mostly talked about it on Pagan Perspective. The last time I made a video about it on cutewitch772 was in 2009, guest starring my mother, so this one is an update just from me alone. The second video is "For Parents" (or guardians or other loved ones), addressing the people on the OTHER side of this issue.
- To go along with my "For Parents" video, I am asking my mother, Rev. Rose, to make a video about the subject from her point of view, as a Universalist type Christian, as a ULC minister, as a non-pagan mother of a pagan child. She will watch my video before doing hers, because she likes to respond to what I've already said as a sort of structure or outline for her response, so her video will be up significantly after mine, but we'll have it to look forward to.
- Yesterday and today I recorded a new t-shirt recon video (which is more relevant to my other blog).
- And today I recorded a book review of a Catholic book, which will be posted... erm, probably in a couple weeks, judging by the list of videos I have to post first!
That's quite a lot of links, isn't it? Explore!
Personal Life:
What's passed:
- 3 June began the summer theatre workshop for which I am the Assistant Director/Stage Manager, or in Theatre-speak, the AD/SM (which is just said as letters, A-D-S-M). I'm working on a teen version of Shrek, the Musical. It's much more politically incorrect than you'd expect if you've seen the movies. I quite enjoy it!
- I applied for another part-time job at a retail/garden shop/farmers market type place. Not sure I'll hear back from them because Sundays are really my only busy day and they appear to only need workers all day on Sundays.
- I've done a lot of cleaning and organizing and moving my belongings, sorting them into what I want to keep and what I can either try to sell or donate or give to people I know. This is in anticipation of moving to another kind person's house where I can stay until I move still elsewhere.
- I started reading The Lovely Bones. I haven't seen the movie, but I own the book.
- My boyfriend was in town briefly, between the end of his grad school year and his summer visit to his family across the country. So I'm glad we got to have a brief day and a half together. He'll be back next month.
- I am now the co-chair of the environmental committee at my UU church.
What's to come:
- Several more weeks of the theatre workshop.
- More job applications. (Seriously what happened to jobs that end at 5pm so I can still do theatre in the evenings? Or jobs that let you have Sundays free for religious activities or personal time? Or jobs in theatre or religion that pay well?! =P)
- More reading. More studying. More watching. More more more.
- This month I will be able to attend my Magick Class meeting because the director of the workshop gave me the night off. But she's taking the cast to see Shrek, the Musical at another theatre that evening, so I will miss that instead.
- Next week I have a Circle meeting and I believe we'll be focusing on mythology.
- Next month is the anniversary of my circle (when they started it, of course I wasn't there then), so we'll be having a party, and also taking a trip to Lily Dale, NY in August.
- My birthday is in August. I'll be 23.
That's about as far ahead as I have any plans, so that's all! I really just wanted to take this time while my video is uploading to update this blog in some way, and this seemed the most appropriate, before I dive into anything new. That's why I made the update video for my YouTube channel, as well.
Every so often, it's good to step out of the routine and just take stock of everything. It's the same reason why I sometimes prefer to get stopped at red lights. It gives me a chance to look around, breathe, and ready myself for the next move.
Blessings~
-C-
05 June, 2013
Earthseed, SolSeed
Hey, Readers,
It's sort of funny how things come to us, isn't it?
I have a friend through YouTube who I think looks like Genevieve Pearson, a writer who was a competitor on the TBS show, King of the Nerds. She was my favorite contestant, and I was really rooting for her to win! But alas, she came in second. I am still very upset with the way the votes went. Genevieve is my King!
Anyway, today I decided to search for a picture of Genevieve to compare how much she looks like my friend, when I found her website, GenevievePearson.com, and checked out the made-up Q&A section. In it, she asks herself, "What is your religion?" and the answer she gives is "Earthseed."
Of course, I had to look this up, and I learned that it comes from a trilogy of books by Octavia E. Butler, a woman whose writing I happen to adore. I haven't read the trilogy it comes from yet, but I am familiar with her Lilith's Brood trilogy and the world she creates there, and the laws and intricacies of that universe. So in reading the article about Earthseed, I'm seeing it sort of fit together with what I know of Butler's work, and how very earth-based it is. Earthseed is a fictional religion, written by Butler, which is based on the premise that "God is Change." The only constant in Life is Change. We hear that a lot, whether it be from people who believe it or from those who want to point out what an oxymoron it is. Regardless, it's an idea I certainly try to remember throughout my life, and my UU minister even pointed it out in a sermon a few weeks ago, as I recall.
From the Wiki page on Earthseed, there is a link to the page for an actual social movement that has begun, as a response to the fictional religion from the books. That movement is called SolSeed, and its central tenet is that "Life is Precious." Their creed page says that SolSeed offers a way for those "who embrace science and reason, rather than superstition," which is only a bit offensive, as it harkens to those who discount any religious belief as being non-scientific, even if scientists have religion, or if certain religious beliefs take into account the things that science has taught us. But I digress. SolSeed is not a religion, but a social movement, and they welcome everyone of any religion or non-religion to join.
The only thing that turns me off about this, is that TheDestiny is to create new worlds among the stars, to plant the seeds of life elsewhere in the Universe, creating children for Gaia. I recently had a short discussion via text message with a friend of mine about lunar colonization. My friend is very interested in life being sustained on other planets because of the great scientific advances it necessitates. I, however, am extremely discouraged by the way people treat our home planet, and find it extremely annoying, for lack of a more technical word, that people presume to live upon other celestial bodies when we can't seem to take care of the one we have. My friend assured me that a good thing about lunar colonization (which the US does not have a plan for, but other countries do) is that in order for it to happen, we would be forced to get things together here on Earth first. So perhaps the possibility of expansion, or "planetary globalization" as I think my friend called it, will be a catalyst for people to get their act together. Besides, said my friend, this wouldn't happen for hundreds of years. I, however, cannot let myself say I'm okay with something just because it won't happen in my own lifetime. I won't leave problems for my children and grandchildren that I had a chance to solve for the better.
In conclusion (for now, at least), SolSeed is really too big of an idea to claim to understand after five minutes. There are several pages of information to sort through, so if you're interested, click the link I gave above and search around! Many of the principles of this movement are admirable at a glance. I can see where this group has a lot in common with other groups I know. But some parts of this don't seem appropriate for where I'm coming from, personally. Earthseed seems more relevant to my life, and though SolSeed is based on it, it definitely has its own Life.
Blessings~
-C-
29 May, 2013
Belief in a Bookstore
Hey, Readers,
This past Sunday, 26 May, someone attempted to save me.
I had church that morning as usual, and then had a few hours to spare before my circle meeting that afternoon. So, like I often do when I'm spending extra time in that area, I went to the Half Price Books store to browse. I was specifically looking to see if they had one witchcraft book, but I always look at all other areas that interest me, just in case. And that day they were having a 20% off sale! I ended up buying an anthology of Robert Frost poems, and Aradia: Gospel of the Witches.
To make a long story short, for the blog, I was sitting on the floor looking at the bottom shelf of Wicca/Witchcraft books when a woman slipped something into my hand and said "Read this later." When I looked down, I was holding a small, gloss-coated booklet called "GOD'S BRIDGE TO ETERNAL LIFE." I didn't know what else to say, so I said "Thank you?" to the woman who was already halfway across the store, and she looked over her shoulder to say "You're welcome."
I was laughing and crying at the same time. I was in total disbelief that that had actually just happened. A young couple, man and woman, who were in the section with me, asked me what was wrong. The girl said, "Oh my gosh, are you okay? What just happened? What did she say?" I held up the booklet and said "Because I'm over here looking at witchcraft books, she just handed me a booklet about God." The girl was incredulous and tried to help me forget it, saying things like "I can't believe that. Do what you want, you're not hurting anyone, forget her." But I was in shock! I was still laughing, eyes watering, shaking with disbelief and the horrible feeling that I could not just let this woman walk away.
Walking around the store, I saw the woman checking out at the counter. I waited near the door and though she initially ducked out of view and tried to avoid my gaze, she looked toward me and I said "I'm sorry, but do you mind if I ask you a question?" She said it was okay, so I told her I've read the Bible, but I was wondering if she'd ever read a book on Wicca or Witchcraft. She said she didn't know much about it, but did I want to sit and talk for a few minutes? Half an hour later, I had heard this woman's spiritual journey and a number of her prejudices, biases, fears, and bad opinions of other people. By the end, I knew she honestly thought that 1) she was right, 2) I believed in lies, and 3) she was making the world a better place. Without going into too much detail about the conversation here, here are a few things she said, sort of in order from how I remember it, but a lot was repeated so this isn't 100% in order:
This past Sunday, 26 May, someone attempted to save me.
I had church that morning as usual, and then had a few hours to spare before my circle meeting that afternoon. So, like I often do when I'm spending extra time in that area, I went to the Half Price Books store to browse. I was specifically looking to see if they had one witchcraft book, but I always look at all other areas that interest me, just in case. And that day they were having a 20% off sale! I ended up buying an anthology of Robert Frost poems, and Aradia: Gospel of the Witches.To make a long story short, for the blog, I was sitting on the floor looking at the bottom shelf of Wicca/Witchcraft books when a woman slipped something into my hand and said "Read this later." When I looked down, I was holding a small, gloss-coated booklet called "GOD'S BRIDGE TO ETERNAL LIFE." I didn't know what else to say, so I said "Thank you?" to the woman who was already halfway across the store, and she looked over her shoulder to say "You're welcome."
I was laughing and crying at the same time. I was in total disbelief that that had actually just happened. A young couple, man and woman, who were in the section with me, asked me what was wrong. The girl said, "Oh my gosh, are you okay? What just happened? What did she say?" I held up the booklet and said "Because I'm over here looking at witchcraft books, she just handed me a booklet about God." The girl was incredulous and tried to help me forget it, saying things like "I can't believe that. Do what you want, you're not hurting anyone, forget her." But I was in shock! I was still laughing, eyes watering, shaking with disbelief and the horrible feeling that I could not just let this woman walk away.
Walking around the store, I saw the woman checking out at the counter. I waited near the door and though she initially ducked out of view and tried to avoid my gaze, she looked toward me and I said "I'm sorry, but do you mind if I ask you a question?" She said it was okay, so I told her I've read the Bible, but I was wondering if she'd ever read a book on Wicca or Witchcraft. She said she didn't know much about it, but did I want to sit and talk for a few minutes? Half an hour later, I had heard this woman's spiritual journey and a number of her prejudices, biases, fears, and bad opinions of other people. By the end, I knew she honestly thought that 1) she was right, 2) I believed in lies, and 3) she was making the world a better place. Without going into too much detail about the conversation here, here are a few things she said, sort of in order from how I remember it, but a lot was repeated so this isn't 100% in order:
- "Do you believe in Jesus? Who do you think Jesus is?"
- "What do you think happens when you die? What do you think Heaven is?"
- (And when I answered what I think,) "Why do you keep saying 'I think'? It's not about what we think, it's about what God says." (And when I pointed out that she THINKS God is right,) "Oh, I guess I do."
- "I was raised Catholic and when I was 16 my friend who is Born Again gave me the Gospel, and ever since then my life has been great. I have a 14-year-old son and a husband and my life is [great]."
- "Buddha and the Dalai Lama are created beings. Jesus is God. They're the same person."
- "That's not the Truth. You believe lies."
- "Do you pray to God?" (Then when I described my view of The Universe, as simply as possible,) "Do you PRAY to The Universe?" (More explanation,) "Do you call it The Creator?" (No, I call it The Universe, like I said.)
- (When I explained a vague idea of how I pray and get messages from the Universe,) "Will you consider talking to me today a sign?" [girlish smile]
- "How did you get into all this?" [tapping her hand on the books in my lap]
- "When I saw you looking at those books, I got really emotional. I'm afraid for you."
- (When I asked what she's afraid of,) "When you die, you will go to Hell. Hell is the worst thing ever. Spiritual death is nothing! I mean, physical death is nothing, but spiritual death, going to Hell, is the worst thing ever. You are going to Hell. That is my worst fear."
- "I can see a semi-truck coming straight for you. There is a semi-truck coming, and you're going to get hit. I see it. I mean, I SEE IT. And I would be a horrible person if I didn't say 'HEY, GET OUT OF THE WAY,' you know?"
- "How old are you?"
- "Do you talk to the dead?"
- "Would you consider coming to my church?"
- "I'm going to pray for you. Here's the name of my church, and my name and number, and the pastor's name, if you ever want to talk or ask questions or come hear a sermon, maybe you could just listen to a sermon." (This is a paraphrase to exclude the actual names she said.)
- "Unitarian... They believe all gods are one God, right?"
- "The Bible says witchcraft is wrong, so." (Then I explained that the Bible warns against magick done to harm, which I do not do, and she just stared at me like I was joking.)
- "Those things are lies. All of that is Satan, and Satan is the Prince of Liars."
- (When I explained that not all religions have any concept of Satan or Hell,) "But it's the TRUTH. Satan is REAL, Hell is REAL. The Bible says so and the Bible is the Truth."
- "I don't believe in Catholicism anymore. I think it's idolatry. I think they worship Mary, it's idolatry, and it's a false religion. And I believe Rome leads to Hell." (This was after I told her my family is Roman Catholic and she asked if my grandmother was actually from Italy and I said yes. So, she insulted Grams. Rude.)
She was also shocked or confused when I said that my mother was a Christian, a minister, and a spiritualist and does folk magick, and that most of the people I know who talk to the dead are Christians. And she said some stuff about "sin" at some point, but I don't remember those statements. All of the above are pretty much verbatim. I have a good memory for dialogue. She also kept talking over me at times and asking several questions one after the other. But yeah. This all happened. You should have seen her face when I told her I was actually on my way to a meeting with my circle and I would be telling them about our conversation. She looked half scared to death and half like she was about to laugh, like I was telling a really funny joke. Or maybe she just couldn't believe there were more of us! Haha.
EDIT: 29 May, 11:40am--I woke up this morning and remembered something else she said. When I was explaining how I personally don't do magick that harms and many others don't either, I mentioned that it even includes not harming ourselves, like choosing to eat healthy. She said you can't eat healthy because there are poisonous chemicals in everything. And I said "Well you can still choose to eat healthier things rather than really un-healthy things. There are still better things than others." She said, and I'm paraphrasing because I don't remember her exact wording, that it basically doesn't matter because "God says we cannot add or take a day from our lives." Whatever we do, whether we eat well or eat badly, smoke or don't smoke, it doesn't affect our life because we die on God's time. That's a proactive, helpful thought, huh?
Anyway, if you want to hear me tell the story in a more full sense, check out the video about it here!
And you know, I guess I sort of can consider her talking to me a message. That morning, I was having doubts about whether my circle was going to be something I liked, and how I would fit in. But when that woman approached me, I realized the exact people I needed to see that day were the ladies in my circle. It's not an official group, not formal, I don't know them very well at all, and we meet really infrequently and I hadn't seen them since February because I wasn't available for the days they scheduled in March and April! But when a Christian woman thinks you're going to Hell, you somewhat need to go stand in a circle of witches and pet a few feline priestesses, and eat some miniature chocolates to make you remember that you're okay. The negative energy I felt clinging to me from my exchange with the woman disappeared when I had a positive goal in front of me. So yeah. Maybe it was a sign. But not the one she thought it was.
Thanks for reading,
Blessings~
-C-
14 May, 2013
Promises to Self (Yoga)
Hey, Readers,
One of the hardest things about being solitary is keeping your own schedule. If you work alone and something comes up, it's easy to put it off until another time or postpone it indefinitely, because at least you're not letting anyone else down, and you can justify it to yourself fairly easily!
In this case, I haven't been to Yoga in weeks. I only went to two classes so far, two weeks in a row, at the end of March and beginning of April. Last time I was there, I paid for the "new student" package of the next three classes--The one I attended that day, and two more. So I have two classes paid for that I haven't attended yet! This just means that whenever I get there again, the next two times I go are already paid. But after the last class I attended, I was extremely busy all the days they offer the particular class I attend. I could go almost any night and take a DIFFERENT class, but I really think the one I've been going to is the best for my level right now. The class is offered Tuesday and Wednesday evenings, and Sunday mornings. Lately I've been doing other things on Tuesday and Wednesday evenings, and of course I'm in church on Sunday mornings. So I've just gone weeks without going back to class.
The good thing is that I have managed to practice Yoga at home during that down time. At least I can say that much! I didn't do it every single week, but some weeks I would do it multiple days as I felt like it, and others just for a few minutes since I had some time.
Tonight, I decided I would try to get to class again. The class has always begun at 6:30pm, so 5:15 came around and I thought I would have time to eat dinner, have some down time, and then head to class. But I checked the schedule on the website just to see if I could make a class later this week, in case I didn't make it today, and discovered not only that I still can't make the other classes this week, but the Beyond Basics class I usually attend has also been changed to 5:30pm. So I lost an hour, and I haven't eaten anything all day so I definitely don't want to go on an empty stomach. And there's no way I could eat enough in fifteen minutes and get there in time, besides the fact that you're not supposed to eat right before a Yoga class. So due to health reasons, I decided staying home to eat would be better than rushing to class, especially since the teacher is so intense, she'd have me working HARD. Not good on an empty stomach and low sleep.
Here comes the promise part. In order to feel like I'm not just making excuses over and over, week after week, I have to keep a promise to myself to practice on my own. If I've elected to stay home and eat, giving me the rest of the evening to myself (since my Pagan Perspective video is uploading), then I should ideally practice a little on my own this evening. I have ALL NIGHT to use, so I can break it up into just a few poses at a time with long breaks in between, or I can set aside an hour to play some meditative music and just work on as many poses as I can during that time. However I choose to do it, I should do it.
In the Women's Circle I attended last Sunday, for the girls in Coming of Age at church, we talked about the word "should" and how "You should not should on yourself." The word is problematic at best, especially when other people ask me what they should do. Well I don't know what anyone should do, and I don't presume to tell them what to do! But in this case, I don't think this is coming from outside myself. I don't think I feel that I should work a little on my Yoga tonight due to anyone else judging me. Why should I do it? Because I feel that it helps me, and I recognize that I haven't had the time, so I need to make the time.
If I want something to happen, I have to work for it. Whether it be Yoga, work, magick, relationships, or any other part of life. Why should I do this? Why should I do anything? Because I want to. Because I feel that it helps me. Because I am responsible for my own enlightenment.
Blessings~
-C-
One of the hardest things about being solitary is keeping your own schedule. If you work alone and something comes up, it's easy to put it off until another time or postpone it indefinitely, because at least you're not letting anyone else down, and you can justify it to yourself fairly easily!
In this case, I haven't been to Yoga in weeks. I only went to two classes so far, two weeks in a row, at the end of March and beginning of April. Last time I was there, I paid for the "new student" package of the next three classes--The one I attended that day, and two more. So I have two classes paid for that I haven't attended yet! This just means that whenever I get there again, the next two times I go are already paid. But after the last class I attended, I was extremely busy all the days they offer the particular class I attend. I could go almost any night and take a DIFFERENT class, but I really think the one I've been going to is the best for my level right now. The class is offered Tuesday and Wednesday evenings, and Sunday mornings. Lately I've been doing other things on Tuesday and Wednesday evenings, and of course I'm in church on Sunday mornings. So I've just gone weeks without going back to class.
The good thing is that I have managed to practice Yoga at home during that down time. At least I can say that much! I didn't do it every single week, but some weeks I would do it multiple days as I felt like it, and others just for a few minutes since I had some time.
Tonight, I decided I would try to get to class again. The class has always begun at 6:30pm, so 5:15 came around and I thought I would have time to eat dinner, have some down time, and then head to class. But I checked the schedule on the website just to see if I could make a class later this week, in case I didn't make it today, and discovered not only that I still can't make the other classes this week, but the Beyond Basics class I usually attend has also been changed to 5:30pm. So I lost an hour, and I haven't eaten anything all day so I definitely don't want to go on an empty stomach. And there's no way I could eat enough in fifteen minutes and get there in time, besides the fact that you're not supposed to eat right before a Yoga class. So due to health reasons, I decided staying home to eat would be better than rushing to class, especially since the teacher is so intense, she'd have me working HARD. Not good on an empty stomach and low sleep.Here comes the promise part. In order to feel like I'm not just making excuses over and over, week after week, I have to keep a promise to myself to practice on my own. If I've elected to stay home and eat, giving me the rest of the evening to myself (since my Pagan Perspective video is uploading), then I should ideally practice a little on my own this evening. I have ALL NIGHT to use, so I can break it up into just a few poses at a time with long breaks in between, or I can set aside an hour to play some meditative music and just work on as many poses as I can during that time. However I choose to do it, I should do it.
In the Women's Circle I attended last Sunday, for the girls in Coming of Age at church, we talked about the word "should" and how "You should not should on yourself." The word is problematic at best, especially when other people ask me what they should do. Well I don't know what anyone should do, and I don't presume to tell them what to do! But in this case, I don't think this is coming from outside myself. I don't think I feel that I should work a little on my Yoga tonight due to anyone else judging me. Why should I do it? Because I feel that it helps me, and I recognize that I haven't had the time, so I need to make the time.
If I want something to happen, I have to work for it. Whether it be Yoga, work, magick, relationships, or any other part of life. Why should I do this? Why should I do anything? Because I want to. Because I feel that it helps me. Because I am responsible for my own enlightenment.
Blessings~
-C-
09 May, 2013
Atheists and Me
Hey, Readers!
Everyone who comments on my YouTube channel usually leaves some kind of impression, whether it be to make me smile and maybe even remember their compliment years down the road, or to make me very angry and frustrated, or to make me laugh and want more for them in their ignorance and hatred. I get a WIDE variety of comments, as you can imagine! But as much as some of them really upset me, I have to admit that some of the most thought-provoking moments I've had were sparked by conversations (sometimes arguments) with atheists.
I am currently in a committed relationship with an atheist. A few of my closest friends are atheists, and I have some more atheist friends who are not quite AS close yet. One of my friends identifies as humanist specifically, but generally atheist. So I have a lot of atheists close to me in my personal life, and I do sometimes talk with them about religion, but they are all the "old atheist" type who don't mind what anyone believes, as long as we don't try to make them believe anything. Some of them are even curious about my path, ask questions, or participate. The actual arguments or debates come from folks online who usually fall under the description of a "new atheist"--those who don't believe and also want to convince others not to believe.
It sometimes starts with a question. "Why do you believe in this?" "Do you have any proof?" More often, though, it begins with a statement before getting into these questions. "This is bullshit." "Magick isn't real." And most of the time, the first comment includes an identification: "As an atheist..." "I'm atheist." I once had someone simply comment that my religion is fake or bullshit or I'm an idiot for believing it or something, and someone else replied to them saying that they have no right to disrespect my beliefs simply because they disagree, and to please disagree respectfully and not name-call. The initial commenter THEN responded with a group identification: "Actually I'm an atheist therefore I can say your religion is fake." As though that gives you a license to be rude, and as though you speak for all atheists. But most of the time, people identify themselves as their group label, in order to say "This is the perspective I'm coming from." I don't believe I've ever had a discussion about the validity of things like magick without someone identifying themselves by their path, whether it be Atheism, Druidry, Christianity, Pagan rather than Wiccan, or what have you.
The point being... I hear from a lot of atheists! And the past week or so I've been hearing from another one. They asked some of the same questions to begin with, identified themselves as atheist/agnostic immediately, and I answered as simply as I could. They were not uncivil, merely asked things like "What is the point of being Wiccan if you can't do anything that I can't do?" This was in response to a video I had done about what magick is and how it works (i.e. not special effects and movie magic). My response, that is isn't about having a point, made me want to do a video on the subject, which I may still do. Things like that. Arguments or comments from atheists in particular are usually challenging, not always because I don't already know the answer to them for my own path and belief, but because no one else asks the same questions they do. At least, comments I get from other religions are not quite the same. Christians usually just ask why I don't believe in God or Truth or something, and other pagans may focus on a specific way I do things. But atheist questions get at the reasoning of it. Sometimes the answer is very obvious to me, it's just that the question has never been asked of me in that way. This most recent atheist commenter seemed very different from the others, however. I responded to their questions as usual, but when they asked about whether I have experience that supports my belief or whether I base it on "mythological anecdotes like the Bible," I skipped ahead to the final comment that has graced so many debates before:
It is not my responsibility to prove anything to you.
I came to this realization during the last long conversation I had with a new atheist who wouldn't let my belief in magick go, because I couldn't prove it to them. But my beliefs on this are solid. I believe that magick works differently for each person, and that no one should have to believe in something just because they are told, but have their own experiences. So the reasons my explanations of experiences would never convince someone are two-fold. First, my experiences are MINE, and may not be able to be replicated by someone else using the exact methods I used. It has to be made personal. And second, the fact that I have had certain experiences which support my belief does not mean anyone else must believe it if they haven't experienced these things for themselves. I don't always believe people's claims if they don't match what I know to be true from experience. I don't expect anyone to believe anything simply because I say so. That would be akin to the negative parts of other religions that I don't enjoy.
But after skipping ahead to this point, I kept thinking about why on earth I hear from so many atheists. What is their goal? Many of them seem to merely want to disprove me, sufficiently enough to their mind, at least, so that they feel they are still right and I am some uneducated fanatic. I think they, similarly to Christians though I don't think they'd admit it, believe that their way is right and simply cannot tolerate that other people believe something else, and may even think they are saving us from looking like idiots by showing us the light. So many begin their own arguments with name-calling, which is never a solid strategy. But this person, this most recent person, did not appear to be on this road at all. So I wrote to them, explained my frustration with previous conversations and apologized for assuming they would end up striking at the same points as the rest, and asked their opinion on one thing:
Why do I hear from so many atheists? What are they looking for? Do they really just want to disprove me or have a bit of fun, talking to someone they believe to be irrational or stupid? Or are some of them truly looking for proof because they can't find it themselves? Because I seem to have found the answer to some mystery, and they would like to share it if only they could? From many, "Prove it, convince me" is a "Make my day" style challenge. "Bring it on, I'm prepared to refute you." But from others, might it be an actual plea? Show me what I can't seem to find?
I already know that not all atheists are alike. The atheists who leave me harsh comments are nothing like my treasured atheist friends in real life. So I'm not saying this person was a whole new kind of atheist, or anything! Just not the usual atheist that leaves me comments: not combative, but curious. Skeptical, of course, but then again I consider myself a skeptic, as well (a Skeptical Believer, I call it, someone who is skeptical until sufficiently shown that belief makes sense, or a believer who makes sure it's the real thing beyond reasonable doubt. I use this term mostly in paranormal investigation. I believe in spirits, but I will not chalk every noise and shadow up to ghost activity. I will be the first to disprove every claim, go looking for the thing that caused the sound or appearance, because I do not believe in falsehood. I believe in the real thing, and I'm not ashamed to say when you're not looking at the real thing.) I often find things in common with atheists because I think my views are more toward their end of the spectrum of belief than the other. But I'm happy to say that I really am always learning, and this new person's comments made me realize a whole other aspect to atheism. Some of them may just not believe because they haven't found that sufficient proof yet. Not because they never will, but because it's currently the best descriptor for their beliefs. My significant other does not believe and I don't think he ever will, as he never has, and that is fine. But other atheists may not be in that boat.
Magick is about energy. Energy can be felt. I had a feeling about this one, and I was right.
Blessings~
-C-
Everyone who comments on my YouTube channel usually leaves some kind of impression, whether it be to make me smile and maybe even remember their compliment years down the road, or to make me very angry and frustrated, or to make me laugh and want more for them in their ignorance and hatred. I get a WIDE variety of comments, as you can imagine! But as much as some of them really upset me, I have to admit that some of the most thought-provoking moments I've had were sparked by conversations (sometimes arguments) with atheists.
I am currently in a committed relationship with an atheist. A few of my closest friends are atheists, and I have some more atheist friends who are not quite AS close yet. One of my friends identifies as humanist specifically, but generally atheist. So I have a lot of atheists close to me in my personal life, and I do sometimes talk with them about religion, but they are all the "old atheist" type who don't mind what anyone believes, as long as we don't try to make them believe anything. Some of them are even curious about my path, ask questions, or participate. The actual arguments or debates come from folks online who usually fall under the description of a "new atheist"--those who don't believe and also want to convince others not to believe.
It sometimes starts with a question. "Why do you believe in this?" "Do you have any proof?" More often, though, it begins with a statement before getting into these questions. "This is bullshit." "Magick isn't real." And most of the time, the first comment includes an identification: "As an atheist..." "I'm atheist." I once had someone simply comment that my religion is fake or bullshit or I'm an idiot for believing it or something, and someone else replied to them saying that they have no right to disrespect my beliefs simply because they disagree, and to please disagree respectfully and not name-call. The initial commenter THEN responded with a group identification: "Actually I'm an atheist therefore I can say your religion is fake." As though that gives you a license to be rude, and as though you speak for all atheists. But most of the time, people identify themselves as their group label, in order to say "This is the perspective I'm coming from." I don't believe I've ever had a discussion about the validity of things like magick without someone identifying themselves by their path, whether it be Atheism, Druidry, Christianity, Pagan rather than Wiccan, or what have you.
The point being... I hear from a lot of atheists! And the past week or so I've been hearing from another one. They asked some of the same questions to begin with, identified themselves as atheist/agnostic immediately, and I answered as simply as I could. They were not uncivil, merely asked things like "What is the point of being Wiccan if you can't do anything that I can't do?" This was in response to a video I had done about what magick is and how it works (i.e. not special effects and movie magic). My response, that is isn't about having a point, made me want to do a video on the subject, which I may still do. Things like that. Arguments or comments from atheists in particular are usually challenging, not always because I don't already know the answer to them for my own path and belief, but because no one else asks the same questions they do. At least, comments I get from other religions are not quite the same. Christians usually just ask why I don't believe in God or Truth or something, and other pagans may focus on a specific way I do things. But atheist questions get at the reasoning of it. Sometimes the answer is very obvious to me, it's just that the question has never been asked of me in that way. This most recent atheist commenter seemed very different from the others, however. I responded to their questions as usual, but when they asked about whether I have experience that supports my belief or whether I base it on "mythological anecdotes like the Bible," I skipped ahead to the final comment that has graced so many debates before:
It is not my responsibility to prove anything to you.
I came to this realization during the last long conversation I had with a new atheist who wouldn't let my belief in magick go, because I couldn't prove it to them. But my beliefs on this are solid. I believe that magick works differently for each person, and that no one should have to believe in something just because they are told, but have their own experiences. So the reasons my explanations of experiences would never convince someone are two-fold. First, my experiences are MINE, and may not be able to be replicated by someone else using the exact methods I used. It has to be made personal. And second, the fact that I have had certain experiences which support my belief does not mean anyone else must believe it if they haven't experienced these things for themselves. I don't always believe people's claims if they don't match what I know to be true from experience. I don't expect anyone to believe anything simply because I say so. That would be akin to the negative parts of other religions that I don't enjoy.
But after skipping ahead to this point, I kept thinking about why on earth I hear from so many atheists. What is their goal? Many of them seem to merely want to disprove me, sufficiently enough to their mind, at least, so that they feel they are still right and I am some uneducated fanatic. I think they, similarly to Christians though I don't think they'd admit it, believe that their way is right and simply cannot tolerate that other people believe something else, and may even think they are saving us from looking like idiots by showing us the light. So many begin their own arguments with name-calling, which is never a solid strategy. But this person, this most recent person, did not appear to be on this road at all. So I wrote to them, explained my frustration with previous conversations and apologized for assuming they would end up striking at the same points as the rest, and asked their opinion on one thing:
Why do I hear from so many atheists? What are they looking for? Do they really just want to disprove me or have a bit of fun, talking to someone they believe to be irrational or stupid? Or are some of them truly looking for proof because they can't find it themselves? Because I seem to have found the answer to some mystery, and they would like to share it if only they could? From many, "Prove it, convince me" is a "Make my day" style challenge. "Bring it on, I'm prepared to refute you." But from others, might it be an actual plea? Show me what I can't seem to find?
I already know that not all atheists are alike. The atheists who leave me harsh comments are nothing like my treasured atheist friends in real life. So I'm not saying this person was a whole new kind of atheist, or anything! Just not the usual atheist that leaves me comments: not combative, but curious. Skeptical, of course, but then again I consider myself a skeptic, as well (a Skeptical Believer, I call it, someone who is skeptical until sufficiently shown that belief makes sense, or a believer who makes sure it's the real thing beyond reasonable doubt. I use this term mostly in paranormal investigation. I believe in spirits, but I will not chalk every noise and shadow up to ghost activity. I will be the first to disprove every claim, go looking for the thing that caused the sound or appearance, because I do not believe in falsehood. I believe in the real thing, and I'm not ashamed to say when you're not looking at the real thing.) I often find things in common with atheists because I think my views are more toward their end of the spectrum of belief than the other. But I'm happy to say that I really am always learning, and this new person's comments made me realize a whole other aspect to atheism. Some of them may just not believe because they haven't found that sufficient proof yet. Not because they never will, but because it's currently the best descriptor for their beliefs. My significant other does not believe and I don't think he ever will, as he never has, and that is fine. But other atheists may not be in that boat.
Magick is about energy. Energy can be felt. I had a feeling about this one, and I was right.
Blessings~
-C-
03 May, 2013
Beltane '13
Hey, Readers!
Beltane is a sabbat I have never really gotten to celebrate with a big event.
A few years ago, I have a video from Beltane where my friends and I were doing a Blitz theatre production, because it was on a weekend, and that took up my whole weekend. Last year on Beltane, I was in London at a museum. This year I was at my boyfriend's house, enjoying my time with him since he was only here for five days in between school sessions. I would have had an opportunity last weekend to participate in a small group ritual for Beltane, but they scheduled it on the only Sunday in April that I couldn't make it due to my boyfriend's visit and our lunch with some other friends from my church.
I know that the group's plan was to have a bonfire and hang prayer/wish ribbons on a bush, rather than having a full sized May-Pole. My friend offered to write my wishes on ribbons for me since I couldn't make it, but I didn't have her do so since I didn't have time to really think about what I would wish for, and would rather have done it in the moment myself. If I had been at home (Grams' house, instead of my boyfriend's house), I would have at least gone outside to meditate or something, or maybe gone to a local park. Since I was away from home, with really nothing at all and no special place of my own outdoors, I went without any formal celebration. Instead, I just spent various moments throughout the day thinking about the sabbat and what it means to me. (That, and I played the wonderful, humourous song, "First of May" by Jonathan Coulton, for my boyfriend and our friend who was visiting, hahaha.)
Beltane is a sabbat I associate mostly with the may pole (or other things involving weaving ribbons and symbols of unity), balefires/bonfires, and the "wedding" or union of the God and Goddess. It is a fertility festival, but this is not only literal in relation to human beings and animals--It is also the desire and intent for fertile fields and a plentiful harvest for the year. Spring is a time of beginnings, plantings, potential, and promise. It is a time of hope, but also active preparation. Beltane is often the time when many of us here in the northern hemisphere finally see and feel the spring weather which we welcomed and beckoned at Ostara, the vernal equinox. As such, this may be the time people feel the urge to "spring clean." In the wheel of the year, Beltane is the time when the God and Goddess unite, which some think of as their literal "marriage" in the sense we modern humans use the term, or merely their coming together sexually to promote fertility of the earth.
If I were to celebrate this festival a way I feel would be appropriate, I would want the following elements to occur:
Beltane is a sabbat I have never really gotten to celebrate with a big event.
A few years ago, I have a video from Beltane where my friends and I were doing a Blitz theatre production, because it was on a weekend, and that took up my whole weekend. Last year on Beltane, I was in London at a museum. This year I was at my boyfriend's house, enjoying my time with him since he was only here for five days in between school sessions. I would have had an opportunity last weekend to participate in a small group ritual for Beltane, but they scheduled it on the only Sunday in April that I couldn't make it due to my boyfriend's visit and our lunch with some other friends from my church.
I know that the group's plan was to have a bonfire and hang prayer/wish ribbons on a bush, rather than having a full sized May-Pole. My friend offered to write my wishes on ribbons for me since I couldn't make it, but I didn't have her do so since I didn't have time to really think about what I would wish for, and would rather have done it in the moment myself. If I had been at home (Grams' house, instead of my boyfriend's house), I would have at least gone outside to meditate or something, or maybe gone to a local park. Since I was away from home, with really nothing at all and no special place of my own outdoors, I went without any formal celebration. Instead, I just spent various moments throughout the day thinking about the sabbat and what it means to me. (That, and I played the wonderful, humourous song, "First of May" by Jonathan Coulton, for my boyfriend and our friend who was visiting, hahaha.)
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| At the medieval faire--Not a maypole at the moment, but this is the same pole and wreath set-up they have used for maypoles in the past! |
If I were to celebrate this festival a way I feel would be appropriate, I would want the following elements to occur:
- Bonfire. Absolute must-have. And either a smaller fire elsewhere for people to jump over, or at least a time when the main bonfire is let low enough for jumping.
- A maypole dance! That means several people celebrating together!
- If not a maypole, then at least everyone would get ribbons to weave/tie together, wear, hang on branches, etc.
- Possibly a play, with two people portraying the God and Goddess, dancing together. Some things I've read talk about crowning a May King and Queen. It's all symbolism to me, really, so however it works is fine by me.
- If not a play or two specific people portraying the roles, then at least all involved having the basic idea of being a guest at a divine union of Universal balance.
- Gardening. There will be flowers. Maybe even planting things.
- Drum circle. Because they're awesome.
- And then of course the more private symbolic celebration, not to be shared with the group. =)
As I said, Beltane is one of the sabbats I've never really gotten to celebrate, which is odd since I feel it's one of the easiest ideas for people to grasp or remember. But it's just never worked out! Still, even just taking some time to reflect on the significance of the moment is important to me--acknowledging the day and the season, not just letting it go by unnoticed. I think a lot of us struggle to find time for what people think of as "proper celebrations, rituals, etc." but that doesn't mean we do nothing at all. Not everything needs a full ritual. Not everything needs a whole group (though I do think celebrating sabbats is more fun with more people). And if everyday we live our connection to the land, nature, the Universe, and whatever we view as Deity, so much the better. Each holiday is no different than every other day we don't choose to mark with elevated significance, and each blends into the next, becoming not just important dates we cannot miss and those other days when we do whatever, but a solid string of solid, individual, holy days. It is merely helpful to take time every so often to stop, take stock of what's going on around us, and just to notice and honor it.
That said, I do look forward to Midsummer.
Blessings~
-C-
24 April, 2013
Earth Day Service
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| Flag hung over the dais for our Earth Day service. |
As you all know, this past Monday was Earth Day, and the day prior was our Earth Day service at my UU church, which the Green Sanctuary committee planned and executed. We've been planning the service for about a month, and I'm happy to say it came together well! I was very nervous beforehand, but once it got going, things calmed down a lot. This is not to say it was not without bumps, but I think everyone understood this was not something we were able to have everyone together to rehearse over and over. Someone forgot to get up to read something so we had to nudge them, some transitions took too long, and our play was read more slowly than we had rehearsed it. But overall, I heard from people that lay services (services planned by lay members rather than the acting minister) do tend to run long, and that it was worth it. I counted when we were about to start and we had just about 50 people in attendance--not counting the students and teachers down the hall, but actually in the sanctuary for the service--and by mid-way through I noticed that some stragglers had joined us later. I think 50-60 is pretty usual for a general service, so that was good.
You may be able to find links to the songs and readings online. I'll include the numbers as they relate to the UU hymnal, just in case you can find them. Here is a page where you can listen to recordings of hymns from the supplemental hymnal for educational purposes (as in, learning how the songs go!). In doing a quick Google search on UU hymns to find out if you could find them, I actually came across a few pages saying things like "I hate the words to UU hymns," "I feel sorry for UUs who have to sing those songs, Catholic songs are so beautiful," and so on. There is even an article entitled "WHY I AM NOT A UNITARIAN UNIVERSALIST" and the first words showing in the search result reveal that this person is not a UU because they think the hymnal "is a disaster." As though the hymnal were the only reason to be a UU! I really enjoy the UU hymns, not only because there are plenty which do not mention the Christian God, but also because I think they touch on something a lot more. AND I like that they're easy melodies that everyone can sing, even people who don't feel comfortable singing or reading music. Besides, UU hymnals do contain Christian and Catholic hymns, as well as Jewish ones, Buddhist and Hindu chants, Native American music, Pagan music, and more. But I digress!
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| Marianne's Gaia |
Our Call to Worship reading (#502) was more about activism, and the fact that now is the proper time for change and work. We have to plant today to reap in the future. Then we all sang a song called Mother Earth, Beloved Garden (#1067) which is one of the first UU hymns I ever sang, during a meeting of my college's UU club. The song has five verses, each one ending with a calling of a direction/element: North, East, South, West, and finally, Center/Spirit.
12 April, 2013
Keeping Busy
Hey, Readers,
I've been meaning to blog about a couple things, and I think I ought to just do it now so you all know I'm okay! The family calmed down after that night, so much so that I hadn't heard from anyone at all in days! (Aside from Grams, because I live with her, of course.) The morning after the fiasco I overheard plans to kick me out, which were evidently ignored, and I began thinking that perhaps the whole family does not feel this way, and so they were able to ignore the passionate rantings of one person who really didn't understand the whole situation. In any case, no one has said anything to me about anything, until this morning when, walking through my bedroom (it is a thoroughfare between our house and the attached apartment), my cousin and aunt both said "Hey," or something equally quick.
So for now I am still at Grams' house, keeping a low profile, and slowly still going through all my things in preparation for cutting down on my amount of possessions. I thought I would just update you on what's been happening besides.
Last Saturday I spent several hours going through our UU hymnals, playing songs on my flute and looking at various readings, creating a list of many options for our Earth Day service later this month. I came up with about six songs and six readings from the hymnals, plus a few poems from some other books I had: Good Poems, arranged by Garrison Keillor, and Jim Scott's manuscript, Just the Words.
At the meeting on Sunday we narrowed it down to what we would use for the service. We may have too many things, since we are also including a short play I wrote for the service and showing a 10-minute video clip that will make up the bulk of what we want to congregation to think about. If we cut anything, I personally think it should be my play. I'm not even sure the committee really liked it anyway. They were a little iffy when we read it, I felt. But they think that new, original pieces are best to put into the service, so they would probably choose to keep my play and cut some other readings or songs. Readings and songs, mind you, which I also REALLY like. I am writing a chalice lighting for the service, as well, so there would still be an original piece. But we'll see.
Other than that, I applied for a couple theatre positions at the community theatre for the summer. I should definitely get something, since I've worked there before, but this time I'm hoping to be an Instructor's Assistant (sort of like a Stage Manager) instead of just an Intern (Rehearsal Assistant). It's a higher position and also makes twice as much money, which I could really use. I'd like to do multiple workshops if possible--There is a one-week, all-day program in June that I could assist with, and then the other shows I applied for don't begin until later June or July.
Besides that, my mother went to school with a man who ended up working in film in the area, so I've been talking with him and he wants to introduce me to people in the industry and find some work for me there, as well. So far, he has said that there should be a role for me as an actor in a film they will be doing soon (though I have no idea what "soon" means in film-speak, being primarily a stage theatre person so far, and no it's not a "movie" or anything you would hear about!), and that my makeup experience will come in handy for other projects so they could always use me for that.
This Sunday, I am supposed to be going to an assignment with him so that I can see how they set up for a filming situation rather than live theatre, and they also want me to conduct an interview. You know the style of interview that you see on TV or in documentaries, where someone is speaking in front of the camera but looking off-camera, and the questions being asked have been edited out? That would be me! You never hear me or see me... But my name still goes in the credits, haha. He's supposed to get back to me about a time, and we have to decide where to meet up so that he can drive us into the city and I don't have to drive myself, but that should be cool. I'm looking forward to meeting people and working in different areas.
So because of that, I have been trying to make a list of every theatre-related thing I've done and note whether it was a memorized performance or not. At my college, we do a lot of other things such as readings, script-in-hand performance, and so on. We also did one acts, ten-minutes, and other various forms of theatre besides the usual two-act play or musical.
And that's what I've been up to! On my personal Youtube channel, I have been doing VEDA: Vlog Every Day in April, so those videos are being posted a little at a time as I get them done. There will end up being a video for every day in the month, and they are in a playlist on my channel so you can always find them easily. Right now I'm working on updating my Etsy a little, and I will hopefully be adding brand new items very soon, and that's about it!
Thanks for reading,
Blessings~
-C-
P.S. Usually I only like to blog about religious/spiritual topics, here on The Witchy Stuff. So the thing I wanted to mention here was all the preparation for the UU service. But in light of the recent issues, I figured I would add a little more about my life situation because that is very much a part of my spiritual life--It's all my life. Although, this is NOT a blog about my personal life regardless of subject, and it will not become such. Only things that affect the rest of my subject matter will be brought up, because I really do want this to remain focused on its namesake.
I've been meaning to blog about a couple things, and I think I ought to just do it now so you all know I'm okay! The family calmed down after that night, so much so that I hadn't heard from anyone at all in days! (Aside from Grams, because I live with her, of course.) The morning after the fiasco I overheard plans to kick me out, which were evidently ignored, and I began thinking that perhaps the whole family does not feel this way, and so they were able to ignore the passionate rantings of one person who really didn't understand the whole situation. In any case, no one has said anything to me about anything, until this morning when, walking through my bedroom (it is a thoroughfare between our house and the attached apartment), my cousin and aunt both said "Hey," or something equally quick.
So for now I am still at Grams' house, keeping a low profile, and slowly still going through all my things in preparation for cutting down on my amount of possessions. I thought I would just update you on what's been happening besides.
At the meeting on Sunday we narrowed it down to what we would use for the service. We may have too many things, since we are also including a short play I wrote for the service and showing a 10-minute video clip that will make up the bulk of what we want to congregation to think about. If we cut anything, I personally think it should be my play. I'm not even sure the committee really liked it anyway. They were a little iffy when we read it, I felt. But they think that new, original pieces are best to put into the service, so they would probably choose to keep my play and cut some other readings or songs. Readings and songs, mind you, which I also REALLY like. I am writing a chalice lighting for the service, as well, so there would still be an original piece. But we'll see.
Other than that, I applied for a couple theatre positions at the community theatre for the summer. I should definitely get something, since I've worked there before, but this time I'm hoping to be an Instructor's Assistant (sort of like a Stage Manager) instead of just an Intern (Rehearsal Assistant). It's a higher position and also makes twice as much money, which I could really use. I'd like to do multiple workshops if possible--There is a one-week, all-day program in June that I could assist with, and then the other shows I applied for don't begin until later June or July.
Besides that, my mother went to school with a man who ended up working in film in the area, so I've been talking with him and he wants to introduce me to people in the industry and find some work for me there, as well. So far, he has said that there should be a role for me as an actor in a film they will be doing soon (though I have no idea what "soon" means in film-speak, being primarily a stage theatre person so far, and no it's not a "movie" or anything you would hear about!), and that my makeup experience will come in handy for other projects so they could always use me for that.
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| An interview I did last year, only I was the interview-ee! |
So because of that, I have been trying to make a list of every theatre-related thing I've done and note whether it was a memorized performance or not. At my college, we do a lot of other things such as readings, script-in-hand performance, and so on. We also did one acts, ten-minutes, and other various forms of theatre besides the usual two-act play or musical.
And that's what I've been up to! On my personal Youtube channel, I have been doing VEDA: Vlog Every Day in April, so those videos are being posted a little at a time as I get them done. There will end up being a video for every day in the month, and they are in a playlist on my channel so you can always find them easily. Right now I'm working on updating my Etsy a little, and I will hopefully be adding brand new items very soon, and that's about it!
Thanks for reading,
Blessings~
-C-
P.S. Usually I only like to blog about religious/spiritual topics, here on The Witchy Stuff. So the thing I wanted to mention here was all the preparation for the UU service. But in light of the recent issues, I figured I would add a little more about my life situation because that is very much a part of my spiritual life--It's all my life. Although, this is NOT a blog about my personal life regardless of subject, and it will not become such. Only things that affect the rest of my subject matter will be brought up, because I really do want this to remain focused on its namesake.
08 April, 2013
Back-Pack Back-Up Plan
Hey, Readers,
One of my good friends is a high school teacher, but his back-up plan is to sell everything he owns and use the money to travel the world, carrying only the essentials he can manage, and living at various locations where people provide room and board in exchange for doing a few hours of work each day. Aside from what he points out as the downside--losing the security of having a set income and place to live--I completely agree with this back-up plan. It sounds like a really great thing to do, if you can.
Right now, I'm not sure what's going to happen for me. I can't really stay here, though it was decided as the best option for me, and the other possibilities all have drawbacks of their own. I hope to hear back from the jobs I applied for soon (one sounded very promising, they just still have not gotten back to me, just like every other job so far... I wish people would at least get back to you to say "No"), and I'm sure I'll get a summer theatre position but those workshops simply don't start immediately so I have to wait until the shows begin. But even with a job coming soon, this living arrangement is not going to work for the two more years I have until I can get a place with my significant other, who will have completed his Master's degree by then.
I've only been here since December, and it's only just now beginning to warm up a bit. I have only just begun to be able to use my downstairs living space, to be warm enough without having to bundle up in a clump of blankets, so that I can sit and meditate or walk around my altar/coffee table. The convenience of warmth is only just beginning. I have barely begun to be able to enjoy what is supposed to be my own basement bedroom/apartment (minus kitchen and bathroom which I would still have to go upstairs for). Through the winter, I had to sleep upstairs due to the cold, and keep my clothes and other daily essentials there. I wasn't able to spend time outside, or to perform ritual. The time for that has just come. And now I may have to leave it soon.
I wish I didn't have to choose between someone I love and avoiding people I can't stand. I wish there were more separation. But life is like that. With the good comes some bad, and with the bad, some good. By getting rid of everything I can, I lose some items that maybe had meaning to me or somewhere down the line I find myself saying "Oh darn it, I HAD one of those, if only I had kept it!" (Which is my worst fear about getting rid of clothes that I don't wear daily but which OFTEN have been used as costumes!) But I also lose the feeling of being so stuck in a place that I can't leave it if I need to. By leaving, I leave someone I don't want to leave behind with the rest, but I also potentially gain more independence and general happiness. I imagine that even though selling everything you own and traveling the world as you can does mean a bit of insecurity and trouble to get through when you want to settle back down again, there is also so much to find.
But people like me? I can't even begin to entertain that idea until I get myself to a place where I can fit everything into my car if I need to, and go.
Wish me luck and safe passage.
Blessings~
-C-
One of my good friends is a high school teacher, but his back-up plan is to sell everything he owns and use the money to travel the world, carrying only the essentials he can manage, and living at various locations where people provide room and board in exchange for doing a few hours of work each day. Aside from what he points out as the downside--losing the security of having a set income and place to live--I completely agree with this back-up plan. It sounds like a really great thing to do, if you can.
Right now, I'm not sure what's going to happen for me. I can't really stay here, though it was decided as the best option for me, and the other possibilities all have drawbacks of their own. I hope to hear back from the jobs I applied for soon (one sounded very promising, they just still have not gotten back to me, just like every other job so far... I wish people would at least get back to you to say "No"), and I'm sure I'll get a summer theatre position but those workshops simply don't start immediately so I have to wait until the shows begin. But even with a job coming soon, this living arrangement is not going to work for the two more years I have until I can get a place with my significant other, who will have completed his Master's degree by then.
I've only been here since December, and it's only just now beginning to warm up a bit. I have only just begun to be able to use my downstairs living space, to be warm enough without having to bundle up in a clump of blankets, so that I can sit and meditate or walk around my altar/coffee table. The convenience of warmth is only just beginning. I have barely begun to be able to enjoy what is supposed to be my own basement bedroom/apartment (minus kitchen and bathroom which I would still have to go upstairs for). Through the winter, I had to sleep upstairs due to the cold, and keep my clothes and other daily essentials there. I wasn't able to spend time outside, or to perform ritual. The time for that has just come. And now I may have to leave it soon.
I wish I didn't have to choose between someone I love and avoiding people I can't stand. I wish there were more separation. But life is like that. With the good comes some bad, and with the bad, some good. By getting rid of everything I can, I lose some items that maybe had meaning to me or somewhere down the line I find myself saying "Oh darn it, I HAD one of those, if only I had kept it!" (Which is my worst fear about getting rid of clothes that I don't wear daily but which OFTEN have been used as costumes!) But I also lose the feeling of being so stuck in a place that I can't leave it if I need to. By leaving, I leave someone I don't want to leave behind with the rest, but I also potentially gain more independence and general happiness. I imagine that even though selling everything you own and traveling the world as you can does mean a bit of insecurity and trouble to get through when you want to settle back down again, there is also so much to find.
But people like me? I can't even begin to entertain that idea until I get myself to a place where I can fit everything into my car if I need to, and go.
Wish me luck and safe passage.
Blessings~
-C-
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