One of the most difficult things about being a solitary practitioner is really sticking to a schedule and making sure you get things done. Especially when life is so busy, it's hard to plan something and actually do it. Distractions happen, things come up, things get in the way, and it's easy to just give up because you're not answering to anyone else. This month, I had the opportunity to dodge that issue because my Wiccan friend from church invited me to her house for a "blue moon" ritual. (Of course, this is not a real blue moon--it's what people popularly call a blue moon, the second full moon in a month. A blue moon is actually the fourth full moon in a given season of the year; there are normally three per season. The next actual blue moon takes place next year, in 2013.) We've been talking about this for weeks, and I was excited to get to experience a small group ritual with people who identify as the same religion as I do. I've done simple things with folks of other pagan paths or other spiritual paths, but this friend and her children identify as Wiccan.
This past weekend, I went to Pagan Pride with one of my friends and we met up with this Wiccan friend of mine and her kids to hang out for the day. One of her daughters got a new wand, which was going to be charged tonight along with whatever else we were going to do. I really had no idea what was being planned, just that something little would take place and probably a bonfire. Anyway, as you can tell from the title of this post, our ritual didn't happen at all. I texted my friend today to see what was going on, and she said we'd probably do something around 8pm. A little later she texted me that another person she invited couldn't make it so it might just be us. I was at work so I didn't respond until an hour later, when my shift ended, and then I didn't hear back from her for hours. While I waited, I did finally make myself a pair of ear cuffs to get me started on making some for my Etsy, so that was good. Then, past the time that I would have had to leave to get to her house by 8pm, she finally responded because she had just gotten my texts, letting me know that an illness she's been dealing with on and off came back and she doesn't feel well tonight, so we'll plan something for next month. The good thing about working every other weekend means that, at least for a couple cycles, the new and full moons line up with my weekends off of work! She said she still has to charge her daughter's wand, though, or they wouldn't hear the end of it. =) I told her to charge it up and get some aura healing going so she can feel better quickly and see me at church on Sunday.
I had hyped myself up too much for the ritual not to do anything--after all, I made new "earrings" for the occasion!--so I decided I would at least charge some crystals or make some offerings or something. But, of course, there is another obstacle for me. I still live in my mother's house, and the people who live here make noise. It's difficult for me to do any kind of ritual in my room with the background noise. I was going to go outside, but I was busy working on some things and then it was too dark and people were still awake and bustling about. I ended up watching videos and answering messages for hours. I was also texting my friends who have recently moved, and my boyfriend who just left for graduate school today, a couple hours away. I couldn't bring myself to end the conversation because I miss him. But I did have him place the rose quartz chunk that I gave him near the window, so when I charged my "matching one" (they're natural, so of course they are not identical, but I got them as a pair and charged them as a pair before giving him one), his would also be charged tonight under the moon. My beautiful, accepting, atheist boyfriend happily complied. I'm so glad he's supportive.
So long story short, it's a quarter to three o'clock in the morning on September 1st, there is a full not-really-blue-but-periwinkle-or-Alice-Blue moon outside in the sky, and I am writing this, still trying to decide what I will do. I should at least charge my stones, but will I clean up my craft room and do it indoors, or go outside in the front yard or field? Is it cold out there? Is it nice enough to bring my yoga mat out to meditate for a while? I wanted to walk to my two trees to make offerings, but it's dark--should I brave it under the moonlight, as an exercise, or wait until morning? Both? What do I want to get out of tonight, and how should I best go about it? I think I shall go outside, but then what shall I carry? I can't bring many things on a walk, but I need salt and water, and those are easy enough. I don't think I'll bother with a smudge stick and lighter. Oh, good golly, Miss Molly, and WHEN am I ever going to finish that car protection charm? Tonight? Perhaps. I probably should, but...
So you see, the big issue here is that I could easily not do anything. I don't have a friend waiting on me to arrive. I don't have a whole group planning what we'll do. It's just me. Me and my Universe, my gods, my trees, my moonlight, my crystals, my path. I like it, but I also dislike how easy it is to walk away. How easy to crawl into bed, and okay, maybe I read Drawing Down the Moon, but that's still not DOING anything for the observance. It is very easy not to hold yourself accountable. Thus, I write about it, so I will feel compelled to tell you later on whether I did something. Though I have always hated feeling like I've done something just for the sake of telling others. My path, after all. Just mine.