Death & Dying (Pagan Resources)

Hey, Readers,

This post has been sitting in my Drafts folder here for the past year, just about. 2020 saw a lot of unnecessary death, and though I had been planning to share this beforehand, once certain events occurred last year, it no longer seemed appropriate timing to share. On the other hand, maybe some people would have considered it the perfect time to discuss death and dying and grief resources, but to me it felt like it may be construed as "using" the situation to seem relevant, get more views, or whatever. It truly just wasn't the best timing. So I've saved this post, and now, here it is.

Early last year, someone wrote to someone I work with, asking for help finding information about Pagan beliefs and practices around death and grief. The questions were forwarded on to me, and this was my response at the time. I saved it in case it could be helpful to others. Now it's been another year, and I'm sure there are other resources that can be mentioned (I think a few new books on the subject have come out more recently, though I haven't read them yet), but this was my answer as it stood at that time, early last year.

The Questions:

1. What are beliefs about death and dying?
2. What is the belief about autonomy or self-determination regarding treatment or end of life decision making? (Who makes treatment decisions, how much information does the dying person want, etc)
3. What are the death rituals? Is there a focus on burial and/or cremation?
4. How does bereavement play out -- are there expected practices after someone has died?
5. Is there anything that individuals do in order to help with the grieving or bereavement process? (Ex. therapy, community organization)

And my response was as follows:

Long Live Uncle Ray

Dear Readers,

Me with Ray at the Buckland Gallery opening, April 2017

As you may know by now, especially if you follow me on other social media, Raymond Buckland, known by many as Uncle Bucky or Uncle Ray, and more formally/historically as "The Father of American Witchcraft," has passed on. He has left his mortal body in favor of his Spirit body. In other words, he has died. We say all kinds of things instead of "died" often, don't we? In this case, since Ray is a Spiritualist, we know that he believes Consciousness survives Death. So while it is true that he died, I feel totally comfortable with the flowery language of "Raymond Buckland left his mortal body on this Earthly plane."

~

I had the pleasure of meeting Uncle Ray (my preferred name for him in casual speech and writing, though to his face and in our emails, I ALWAYS called him Mr. Buckland) five months ago today, at the grand opening of the Buckland Gallery of Witchcraft and Magick in Cleveland, OH. Before that, we had exchanged a few emails a couple of years ago, about Wicca, different definitions, and things that my online viewing audience had asked me about repeatedly over the years. Who better to ask than someone who was THERE? Who was actually first-hand part of the history of Witchcraft in the United States, as such? I believe whenever possible, we should go to the source. For me and my purposes, that source was Raymond Buckland.

There are many articles about Ray's life, work, and influence online today because of his death this week. I can't claim to do a better job than any of them, but I can talk about my own experiences and share in my own way. The Ray Buckland I corresponded with, the man I met five months ago, is a wonderful, warm, and encouraging energy. In some posts I wrote in my private Facebook groups with people who are working with me currently (and maybe on my public page, I really can't remember, I wrote so many posts while processing the event yesterday), I said that in meeting Uncle Ray it was clear to me that he embodied the Goddess' wishes for us, and by that I mean those named in The Charge of the Star Goddess. Ray exuded both, and all,

Beauty and Strength

Power and Compassion

Honor and Humility

Mirth and Reverence

Chatting with Ray at the Buckland Gallery opening.
Thank you, Steven, for taking the photos!

In many ways, I am grateful to have met Ray in his twilight years. He retired years ago, has been over the "hustle and bustle" of public appearances and huge online courses for quite some time, and he has been living for years right here in my own state of Ohio. He is a grandfather, a well respected Pagan elder to many, and that calming, charming, goofball energy that is the prerogative of folks who've done more than their share and they're ready to just kick back and relax, is wonderful to have known, even for a short time.

Strengthening Spirituality - Blog Prompt

Hey, Readers!

There are, as always, a cluster of related and unrelated things that I want to blog/vlog about at any given time, and that often results in my not knowing WHAT to post, so I end up not posting. It's a bad habit many of us get into. Today, however, while researching for my Tuesday PaganPerspective video on Pagan views of marriage/gender roles, I found the "Mom's a Witch" blog, and the Pagan Blog Prompts. So today I'd like to write using one of the blog prompts from February. Enjoy!

What is something you can do this month to bring you closer to the Goddess? 
How can you strengthen your spirituality?

I know for a fact that when I make the time and put forth more effort towards my spiritual practice, the rewards are great, but for some reason, with my life being as busy as it sometimes is these days, that doesn't make it any easier to actually do it! However, there are a few things that I can do periodically that help, and with spring fast approaching here in the northern hemisphere, some of my favorite things will be timely and simple ways to be closer to the Goddess:

• Gardening! I love caring for my potted plants, and it's about time to start some new ones from seeds.
• Similarly, this is a great time to start walking outside again. With good weather comes good nature walks.
• Many forms of reverence. There is always the option to pray more, sing more, dance more. Do Yoga more. Paint more. Whatever works.
• Celebrate with others when possible. It always feels better to me to share with others, even though I have a solitary practice most of the time. It also helps keep me accountable to observations. =)
• Treat everyday chores as a gift to the Goddess, or at least an opportunity to connect with the elements. I do this often, anyway, but it's always a big help.

Here's looking forward to spring!

Blessings~

-C-

'Tis the Season (to discuss "stealing" traditions)

Hey, Readers,

Yule is approaching fast in the Northern Hemisphere (I don't know if that needs to be capitalized, but, oh well) and you know what that means! Pagans are talking about Christians "stealing" Yule and people are discussing appropriation. Someone I follow on tumblr said they'd been seeing a lot of those "Christians stole Yule" posts on their dash, so I reblogged with a link to a video I made two years ago on Yule:

On "Stealing" Traditions

After this, I received a question in the Ask box of my tumblr, and my answer was pretty long. It's posted on my tumblr, but I wanted to re-post it here with a little extra.

A Threshold Path (Poem)

Hey, Readers!

Long time no see, eh? I've been meaning to update, and of course there are several things I could have written about, I just haven't made the time in my busy schedule lately. Tonight, I got online intending to spend an hour or so answering messages and emails, and then watching a few videos. Well, a few hours later, I was still answering messages, and now I have a list of topics to mention next time I do a video.

One thing I will mention is the impetus for this post, which is that I received an email notification of a comment left here on my blog. The comment was letting me know that I have been added to the Pagan Blog Directory! And there is a brand new blog button on the sidebar of my blog to prove it. =) (Shown to the right, here.)

The directory was evidently lost, so it's being redone, so if you know of any blogs that used to be on it, please submit them to the directory so they may be re-added. Likewise, if you know of any that you would like to see on the list that may not have been before (I do not believe I was on it before, or if I was, I wasn't notified then), let them know! There are separate directories for websites and things like Facebook Pages, but this specific one is for blogs. And do use it to find others to follow!

As for the title of this post, I was prodded by the manner in which my blog is listed in the directory. The Witchy Stuff is listed under the category "Wicca." This may seem obvious to those of you who know me as a Wiccan, but it is less so to me, being the one living my path. Now is a good time to put down some thoughts I've been having for a while now, some of which I've expressed in the past, some which have gone unspoken, and some altogether relatively new. And, well, apparently it's going to be in poem form. Enjoy.

~

My path began with a Wiccan tilt, with Cunningham and Ravenwolf,
with mama's Native influence and my own love of this green Earth.
I read and studied, practiced, erred, and kept it secret for a while
Until I felt more comfortable with calling "Wiccan" my own style.
But I was young and all the Wiccans on the internet weren't fond
of my quite broken lineage and lack of ini-ti-a-tion.
They said I wasn't one of them, that my beliefs were not enough,
that I had to be taught, somehow, and if I didn't do that, tough.
But I, resilient, knowledge-lead, had some informants of my own
who gave me confidence to tread, and so I came into my own.
"I am a Wiccan," I would say, "though eclectic and solit'ry"
and over years a Wiccan Witch is how I have come known to be.
Yet over time, from year to year, my knowledge and experience grow
and less often am I comfortable with names by which I used to go.
I still have Wiccan beliefs, yes, and I intend to keep that part
of my young path, wherever I go, because it spoke to my young heart.
But as of late, the general term of "Pagan" more appeals to me.
Yet when I use it, I am sometimes struck by what the others see.
In arguments sometimes, when I attempt to hold a wider view,
speaking from my Universal tendencies and attitudes,
"You're only speaking from a Wiccan point of view," I now am told,
"That's the Wiccan way of things." Thus the verdict they behold.
And yes, I cede, I do come from a Wiccan sort of origin,
But can I never branch back out from somewhere I was not let in?
The traditional Wiccans never claimed me (so I never claimed to be one of them),
and now the general Pagans shame me, too much Wiccan, then again.
Not enough for the one extreme, but too much one for this, the other.
And where exactly does that leave me? On my own path, same as ever.
An in between is where I walk, a balance on the railroad tracks.
Balance is my major goal, and here I walk, a threshold path.
It's neither in nor is without, nor is it perfect dark or light,
it isn't kin or kind to yours, and it contains both "wrong" and "right."
Is it "Wiccan"? Who could know? Some say yes, and others, no.
The thing I'm sure of is that there is always forward left to go.
From one exit, another entrance. Another threshold left to meet.
And lifetimes hence from what's "complete." And miles to go before I sleep.

Blessings~
-C-

Witchy Book Recommendations

This post, where I originally started listing book recommendations in 2013 and have continued to update periodically, has now been moved to an actual PAGE here on the blog! Check it out:

Book Recs.

Blessings~

-C-

Belief in a Bookstore

Hey, Readers,

This past Sunday, 26 May, someone attempted to save me.

I had church that morning as usual, and then had a few hours to spare before my circle meeting that afternoon. So, like I often do when I'm spending extra time in that area, I went to the Half Price Books store to browse. I was specifically looking to see if they had one witchcraft book, but I always look at all other areas that interest me, just in case. And that day they were having a 20% off sale! I ended up buying an anthology of Robert Frost poems, and Aradia: Gospel of the Witches.

To make a long story short, for the blog, I was sitting on the floor looking at the bottom shelf of Wicca/Witchcraft books when a woman slipped something into my hand and said "Read this later." When I looked down, I was holding a small, gloss-coated booklet called "GOD'S BRIDGE TO ETERNAL LIFE." I didn't know what else to say, so I said "Thank you?" to the woman who was already halfway across the store, and she looked over her shoulder to say "You're welcome."

I was laughing and crying at the same time. I was in total disbelief that that had actually just happened. A young couple, man and woman, who were in the section with me, asked me what was wrong. The girl said, "Oh my gosh, are you okay? What just happened? What did she say?" I held up the booklet and said "Because I'm over here looking at witchcraft books, she just handed me a booklet about God." The girl was incredulous and tried to help me forget it, saying things like "I can't believe that. Do what you want, you're not hurting anyone, forget her." But I was in shock! I was still laughing, eyes watering, shaking with disbelief and the horrible feeling that I could not just let this woman walk away.

Walking around the store, I saw the woman checking out at the counter. I waited near the door and though she initially ducked out of view and tried to avoid my gaze, she looked toward me and I said "I'm sorry, but do you mind if I ask you a question?" She said it was okay, so I told her I've read the Bible, but I was wondering if she'd ever read a book on Wicca or Witchcraft. She said she didn't know much about it, but did I want to sit and talk for a few minutes? Half an hour later, I had heard this woman's spiritual journey and a number of her prejudices, biases, fears, and bad opinions of other people. By the end, I knew she honestly thought that 1) she was right, 2) I believed in lies, and 3) she was making the world a better place. Without going into too much detail about the conversation here, here are a few things she said, sort of in order from how I remember it, but a lot was repeated so this isn't 100% in order:

• "Do you believe in Jesus? Who do you think Jesus is?"
• "What do you think happens when you die? What do you think Heaven is?"
• (And when I answered what I think,) "Why do you keep saying 'I think'? It's not about what we think, it's about what God says." (And when I pointed out that she THINKS God is right,) "Oh, I guess I do."
• "I was raised Catholic and when I was 16 my friend who is Born Again gave me the Gospel, and ever since then my life has been great. I have a 14-year-old son and a husband and my life is [great]."
• "Buddha and the Dalai Lama are created beings. Jesus is God. They're the same person."
• "That's not the Truth. You believe lies."
• "Do you pray to God?" (Then when I described my view of The Universe, as simply as possible,) "Do you PRAY to The Universe?" (More explanation,) "Do you call it The Creator?" (No, I call it The Universe, like I said.)
• (When I explained a vague idea of how I pray and get messages from the Universe,) "Will you consider talking to me today a sign?" [girlish smile]
• "How did you get into all this?" [tapping her hand on the books in my lap]
• "When I saw you looking at those books, I got really emotional. I'm afraid for you."
• (When I asked what she's afraid of,) "When you die, you will go to Hell. Hell is the worst thing ever. Spiritual death is nothing! I mean, physical death is nothing, but spiritual death, going to Hell, is the worst thing ever. You are going to Hell. That is my worst fear."
• "I can see a semi-truck coming straight for you. There is a semi-truck coming, and you're going to get hit. I see it. I mean, I SEE IT. And I would be a horrible person if I didn't say 'HEY, GET OUT OF THE WAY,' you know?"
• "How old are you?"
• "Do you talk to the dead?"
• "Would you consider coming to my church?"
• "I'm going to pray for you. Here's the name of my church, and my name and number, and the pastor's name, if you ever want to talk or ask questions or come hear a sermon, maybe you could just listen to a sermon." (This is a paraphrase to exclude the actual names she said.)
• "Unitarian... They believe all gods are one God, right?"
• "The Bible says witchcraft is wrong, so." (Then I explained that the Bible warns against magick done to harm, which I do not do, and she just stared at me like I was joking.)
• "Those things are lies. All of that is Satan, and Satan is the Prince of Liars."
• (When I explained that not all religions have any concept of Satan or Hell,) "But it's the TRUTH. Satan is REAL, Hell is REAL. The Bible says so and the Bible is the Truth."
• "I don't believe in Catholicism anymore. I think it's idolatry. I think they worship Mary, it's idolatry, and it's a false religion. And I believe Rome leads to Hell." (This was after I told her my family is Roman Catholic and she asked if my grandmother was actually from Italy and I said yes. So, she insulted Grams. Rude.)

She was also shocked or confused when I said that my mother was a Christian, a minister, and a spiritualist and does folk magick, and that most of the people I know who talk to the dead are Christians. And she said some stuff about "sin" at some point, but I don't remember those statements. All of the above are pretty much verbatim. I have a good memory for dialogue. She also kept talking over me at times and asking several questions one after the other. But yeah. This all happened. You should have seen her face when I told her I was actually on my way to a meeting with my circle and I would be telling them about our conversation. She looked half scared to death and half like she was about to laugh, like I was telling a really funny joke. Or maybe she just couldn't believe there were more of us! Haha.

EDIT: 29 May, 11:40am--I woke up this morning and remembered something else she said. When I was explaining how I personally don't do magick that harms and many others don't either, I mentioned that it even includes not harming ourselves, like choosing to eat healthy. She said you can't eat healthy because there are poisonous chemicals in everything. And I said "Well you can still choose to eat healthier things rather than really un-healthy things. There are still better things than others." She said, and I'm paraphrasing because I don't remember her exact wording, that it basically doesn't matter because "God says we cannot add or take a day from our lives." Whatever we do, whether we eat well or eat badly, smoke or don't smoke, it doesn't affect our life because we die on God's time. That's a proactive, helpful thought, huh?

Anyway, if you want to hear me tell the story in a more full sense, check out the video about it here!

And you know, I guess I sort of can consider her talking to me a message. That morning, I was having doubts about whether my circle was going to be something I liked, and how I would fit in. But when that woman approached me, I realized the exact people I needed to see that day were the ladies in my circle. It's not an official group, not formal, I don't know them very well at all, and we meet really infrequently and I hadn't seen them since February because I wasn't available for the days they scheduled in March and April! But when a Christian woman thinks you're going to Hell, you somewhat need to go stand in a circle of witches and pet a few feline priestesses, and eat some miniature chocolates to make you remember that you're okay. The negative energy I felt clinging to me from my exchange with the woman disappeared when I had a positive goal in front of me. So yeah. Maybe it was a sign. But not the one she thought it was.

Thanks for reading,

Blessings~

-C-

Beltane '13

Hey, Readers!

Beltane is a sabbat I have never really gotten to celebrate with a big event.

A few years ago, I have a video from Beltane where my friends and I were doing a Blitz theatre production, because it was on a weekend, and that took up my whole weekend. Last year on Beltane, I was in London at a museum. This year I was at my boyfriend's house, enjoying my time with him since he was only here for five days in between school sessions. I would have had an opportunity last weekend to participate in a small group ritual for Beltane, but they scheduled it on the only Sunday in April that I couldn't make it due to my boyfriend's visit and our lunch with some other friends from my church.

I know that the group's plan was to have a bonfire and hang prayer/wish ribbons on a bush, rather than having a full sized May-Pole. My friend offered to write my wishes on ribbons for me since I couldn't make it, but I didn't have her do so since I didn't have time to really think about what I would wish for, and would rather have done it in the moment myself. If I had been at home (Grams' house, instead of my boyfriend's house), I would have at least gone outside to meditate or something, or maybe gone to a local park. Since I was away from home, with really nothing at all and no special place of my own outdoors, I went without any formal celebration. Instead, I just spent various moments throughout the day thinking about the sabbat and what it means to me. (That, and I played the wonderful, humourous song, "First of May" by Jonathan Coulton, for my boyfriend and our friend who was visiting, hahaha.)

At the medieval faire--Not a maypole at the moment,
but this is the same pole and wreath set-up they have
used for maypoles in the past!

Beltane is a sabbat I associate mostly with the may pole (or other things involving weaving ribbons and symbols of unity), balefires/bonfires, and the "wedding" or union of the God and Goddess. It is a fertility festival, but this is not only literal in relation to human beings and animals--It is also the desire and intent for fertile fields and a plentiful harvest for the year. Spring is a time of beginnings, plantings, potential, and promise. It is a time of hope, but also active preparation. Beltane is often the time when many of us here in the northern hemisphere finally see and feel the spring weather which we welcomed and beckoned at Ostara, the vernal equinox. As such, this may be the time people feel the urge to "spring clean." In the wheel of the year, Beltane is the time when the God and Goddess unite, which some think of as their literal "marriage" in the sense we modern humans use the term, or merely their coming together sexually to promote fertility of the earth.

If I were to celebrate this festival a way I feel would be appropriate, I would want the following elements to occur:

• Bonfire. Absolute must-have. And either a smaller fire elsewhere for people to jump over, or at least a time when the main bonfire is let low enough for jumping.
• A maypole dance! That means several people celebrating together!
• If not a maypole, then at least everyone would get ribbons to weave/tie together, wear, hang on branches, etc.
• Possibly a play, with two people portraying the God and Goddess, dancing together. Some things I've read talk about crowning a May King and Queen. It's all symbolism to me, really, so however it works is fine by me.
• If not a play or two specific people portraying the roles, then at least all involved having the basic idea of being a guest at a divine union of Universal balance.
• Gardening. There will be flowers. Maybe even planting things.
• Drum circle. Because they're awesome.
• And then of course the more private symbolic celebration, not to be shared with the group. =)

As I said, Beltane is one of the sabbats I've never really gotten to celebrate, which is odd since I feel it's one of the easiest ideas for people to grasp or remember. But it's just never worked out! Still, even just taking some time to reflect on the significance of the moment is important to me--acknowledging the day and the season, not just letting it go by unnoticed. I think a lot of us struggle to find time for what people think of as "proper celebrations, rituals, etc." but that doesn't mean we do nothing at all. Not everything needs a full ritual. Not everything needs a whole group (though I do think celebrating sabbats is more fun with more people). And if everyday we live our connection to the land, nature, the Universe, and whatever we view as Deity, so much the better. Each holiday is no different than every other day we don't choose to mark with elevated significance, and each blends into the next, becoming not just important dates we cannot miss and those other days when we do whatever, but a solid string of solid, individual, holy days. It is merely helpful to take time every so often to stop, take stock of what's going on around us, and just to notice and honor it.

That said, I do look forward to Midsummer.

Blessings~

-C-

Rights to Terms (Wiccan)

Hey, Readers,

Even as I typed the title for this post, I realized just how big a topic it really is. This goes into so many areas that I've come across in the past year, such as whether neopagans can use certain practices from some faiths, whether you have to be a certain gender or race or nationality to use some practice, and so on. Due to all the ways this could go, I'm going to stick to my original intention when I opened up this page to post a blog, which is to discuss a little more my choice to call myself a Wiccan.

I wrote a long post on my tumblr about this a while ago, where I describe the conversation I had with an initiated Gardnerian crone to whom I really look for guidance. When we first got acquainted, I actually didn't know that she was Gardnerian, just that she was Wiccan and believed and practiced very similar to myself, but with the added benefit of the wisdom of her years. It wasn't until I knew her for a couple years already that I heard her say she was an initiated Gardnerian, and I was like, "What?!" Because, in my experience, Gardnerians online are the ones who say you can't be a Wiccan if this, and you're not a real Wiccan if that. And actually, there are a lot of non-Wiccans, or non-initiates who say that, as well. But the books I read, and the experiences I've had with Deity, have told me that it isn't necessary to be initiated by another human being in order to follow Deity in a certain way.

I know myself. I know what my beliefs and practices are, and I know that they are not akin to traditional Wicca. Yet, there are beliefs that are Wiccan which I do hold. I was lucky enough to be able to speak to one Gardnerian initiate, and she asked me things like, "How do you do this? What do you do when you do this part of ritual? What goes through your mind? What does this thing mean to you?" And I was honest because after all these years of being told I'm wrong, dangit, I just wanted to know once and for all! And I was not told "Sorry, child, that's not Wiccan." Instead I heard surprise and pride, "That's exactly what we did in my covens, and it says a lot to me that you came upon this on your own." (These are all paraphrases, not the exact quotes.) And we discussed things that we think are characteristic of Wicca, whether it be traditional or eclectic, solitary or group. To me, a person who believes these Wiccan beliefs can call themselves a Wiccan. But people who do not have the same beliefs at all, probably should not. As I've said several times before in videos and maybe on here, I did message with a man online who told me that he is Wiccan but purposely does not follow the Wiccan Rede. Well, I personally feel that there is probably a better label out there for him than "Wiccan." I've also had a young kid message me talking about a very specific practice format he was using, involving a certain number of deities, the practitioner being a sacrifice, and so on, and claiming it was Wiccan. In fact, I assume he was asking me about this because I identify as Wiccan and he thought what he was doing was Wiccan. It didn't sound like any kind of Wicca I had ever heard of, even after doing some more research, so I asked what his sources were, and as it turns out, it wasn't a Wiccan source. He just wanted to use the label. I don't think people should use the label willy-nilly for no reason at all. But I think if your belief and practice falls within the realm, you should not be told that you cannot use a term for yourself.

Gerald Gardner may not agree with me. But I'm not Gardnerian. I don't claim to be.

(I've even had people say I can't be Wiccan if I don't follow Gardner because he started it. There are a good many examples of things evolving and moving past their initiators--pardon the word choice.)

I bring this up again because I was checking old comments on one of my videos, and I found a reply from a year ago that I never saw or replied to. It's old news now, so I won't reply to it and cause more issue, but I do think it's good to talk about. Someone told me that they are a traditionalist of the sense that they believe you must be initiated and things like that, in order to properly claim the title "Wiccan." I said that I agreed with their right to believe this, which is why I never claim to be a Traditional Wiccan. That would be incorrect as I have not been initiated into a tradition. But I don't believe you have to be initiated into your own belief, and I think Deity is actually the only one(s) that needs to accept us on a certain path. I told them that I do think some people use the term for no reason (such as the examples I gave above), but that through my research and speaking with initiates, I have determined that I may call myself Wiccan based on my actual belief and practice. Their reply which I did not see until now, says that while they respect the thought I have put into this, they still don't think I have a right to use the term, and since they strongly believe this and I strongly believe what I believe, we should agree to disagree. And as most people will when they know they're being rude but don't want to be, they ended the comment with a smiley face.

I do think it's everyone's right to choose what works best for them. If you personally believe that you shouldn't use a term until you are initiated into a group, that's fine. But I don't think it's okay to tell other people they cannot do something, based on your personal belief for yourself. Sounds a lot like non-pagans telling us what we need to do, doesn't it? Why the ingroup prejudice? I have a pretty good friend/acquaintance on YouTube who has made it clear to me multiple times that he personally will not ever call himself a Wiccan until he is initiated, AND that he will not accept any branch of Wicca other than Gardnerian--even those that developed directly from Gardnerian (Alexandrian, Algard, etc.)--because he personally believes Traditional Gardnerian Wicca is the only valid one. But never once has he claimed that I am not a real Wiccan or that I am doing it wrong. The fact that he personally needs a certain thing, doesn't make him think of me in a lesser way. I appreciate that so much.

And no, I don't think every traditional Wiccan is going to think I'm okay just because several of them have. Just because some initiates accept me and my right to use a term that describes my belief, does not mean they all will. That just means I would probably work better with those who care about my beliefs, and not whether a human male initiate initiated me. (No one usually mentions the fact that technically each person must be initiated by the opposite sex, but yet in many covens throughout the years there were not enough men, so women were initiated by women. So what's the important thing, being initiated? Or being initiated exactly the way Gardner said we should be?)

The fact of the matter is that practices evolve. People change things, the times change things, resources change things... Yes, some people use terms to describe something that has no tie at all to the original thing, in which case it seems like maybe you could choose a better term. But a lot of people fit Wicca who don't do it the way it was done in the 40s and 50s. Even initiates don't do things the exact same way as their predecessors. Each coven that breaks off can change the way it does things if it chooses to. Let's say hypothetically that each coven hiving off changes one thing about how they believe or practice. Then covens hiving off from there each change one more thing, so on and so on. If the branching off eventually gets so far away from the original beliefs and practices that none of it looks like Wicca anymore, are they still Wiccan based on lineage of initiation? Or are the beliefs and practices really what matters, regardless?

When you get right down to it, I honestly don't care what label I use. I have a preferred one, but it's still just words used to help describe my views. I don't care what label best helps people describe me in their own mind. However, I do care when people think they know what someone else is. So yes, we should agree to disagree. I may be bothered by the fact that deep down, you don't think I have a right to my own belief's terminology because I don't have the same resources you do. Just like it still seemed weird when a Christian friend told me, "Yeah, I respect your beliefs. I think you're going to Hell, but I respect your beliefs." "I don't think you deserve the same term I do, but I respect your beliefs." But no, we're not hurting each other by disagreeing. My path doesn't affect yours, and your path doesn't affect mine.

And yeah, okay, I frequently deal with people of completely other faiths by saying something like "I respect that belief, but I don't personally believe it." Somehow I think this is different than "I respect that you have that belief but don't think you have the right to it," or "I respect that belief but I still think you're wrong." I don't necessarily think people are wrong just because it doesn't work for me. (Some beliefs I do think are "wrong," morally, but that's another story.)

And I have known people in my personal life whose choice to use certain terms offended me, because since I know them in real life I know the supreme lack of actual knowledge or experience they put into it. So to me it's an insult to use a term having put no work into it, which I have worked for years to feel able to use. So I do understand that some traditionalists may find my use of the term the same exact kind of insult. They got initiated and I didn't so I don't deserve it. I do sympathize there, since these people do not know me personally and cannot know exactly the work I've put in. The lack of access to a coven is one thing. To me, the effort, belief, practice, knowledge, and experience are another.

One day, I will approach a level of wisdom such that it will not even bother me that people really don't respect me. One day, I will not mind at all what people say, and I will not feel any need to defend myself, educate others about their misinformation and hatred, or even to give it a thought. Perhaps one day I will drop my activist standpoint and just let people judge and hate and dictate, because it really doesn't affect me. That day, it will not matter to me that people are incorrect when they think they know it all.

But, oh, readers and friends... Today is not that day. It is an ongoing process. I can feel much improvement from my stance a decade ago, and even a few years ago. But I still have far to go.

Blessings~
-C-

13 Goals of a Witch, Interpreted

Hey, Readers,

I got a message on YouTube from someone wanting to know exactly what these 13 Goals of Cunningham's mean, in layman's terms. If you Google the subject, you'll find many pages where other people have given their personal interpretations of the goals. So I thought, why not post my answer to my blog, for future reference? My interpretations are not drastically different than anything I already read, which is good. It means we're all on the same track about what we should be doing! But I did find some things in other people's pages that I wouldn't have thought to say, and I also have some quotes and things I like that I haven't seen elsewhere yet. Without further adieu, the 13 Goals of a Witch, interpreted by yours truly.


The 13 Goals of a Witch


1) Know Yourself -- This one comes first for a reason. Have you ever heard the saying, in these or similar words, "For anyone else to love you, you have to love yourself first"? It's the same concept. In order to learn about the rest of the world, in order to make magick happen effectively, in order to create positive change in your life, even in order to have healthy relationships in general, you have to know yourself first. It all starts with YOU. So what does it mean, to know yourself? It means to know who you are, what you believe, what you stand for, what you like and dislike, what you feel deep in your heart about different situations, and most of all it means being HONEST with yourself about who you are. It means knowing your strengths and being proud of them, and also knowing your weaknesses so that you can work on them. In the story of Rumpelstiltskin, he is bested by the character who learns his name, because names hold power. Think of Rumpelstiltskin as one of your negative traits, something you know is part of you that you want to work on. It is much easier to defeat something if you can name it. (Back when exorcisms were still something Christian clergymen did, part of the process was learning the entity's name in order to banish it correctly. I read that recently and I would direct you to the source if I could but remember it, I read so much...) When you recognize your own short-comings and negative attributes, you can better see them coming and work on improving. But don't forget to recognize your positives, too. Give yourself what credit you deserve! This one is all about YOU, knowing who you really are, and being the best you that you can be.

2) Know your Craft -- This one may seem pretty obvious, but it's important to remember. This is about knowing your stuff! Strive to know as much as you can about the Craft in general, but also about your personal favorite ways to do things. Find out different ways to do the same thing, try them all out, and see what works best for you--YOUR craft. If you don't know yet what works best for you, that's a sign to test different ways. Observe or chat with other people to find out how they do things, and try it out. Read about new ideas, even when you have a pretty set way of doing things, just to freshen it up and stay sharp. Your tastes may change, or you may just add it to your growing knowledge of the craft and how people practice it. I think it's very significant that the word "your" is used here. Know the Craft, but also know your Craft.

3) Learn and Grow (sometimes written as just Learn) -- You've heard me say it before, and I will never mind saying it again. We are ALL, ALWAYS learning! Life in general is about learning. This path is one of learning and practice, trial and error, trial and success. It's called a "practice" for a reason. Learn from books, websites, and other people, but also remember that a lot of your learning comes from your own experiences, nature, and if you believe in a deity concept, from Deity, as well. By learning as much as you can, and accepting that there WILL always be more to learn, you ensure that you are constantly growing. Be ever a student, of this and all subjects. Even when we "master" certain things, there are always yet more things to learn along the way.

4) Apply Knowledge with Wisdom -- Okay, you did all that learning and growing and studying and practicing, and now you know a lot of stuff! Good for you! Now comes what may be the harder part: Using that knowledge wisely. Sometimes this can mean applying common sense. Other times, it might mean thinking creatively or outside the box. (You can almost hear your older family member, handing you a few dollars and saying, "Use it wisely...") Essentially, this goal is about remembering that knowledge alone is not always enough to work out there in the real world, whether it be in magick or mundane aspects. The knowledge is necessary, a separate goal in itself, but it's not much good if you don't know how to apply it.

One quote that I love, from the Tao Te Ching: "In the pursuit of knowledge, every day something is acquired. In the pursuit of wisdom, every day something is dropped."

5) Achieve Balance -- This is what it's all about, man! Haha. Wicca especially, is a religion about balance. But even for non-Wiccans, balance is an important goal. On the spiritual side of things, we might be talking about the balance between Yin and Yang energies, masculine and feminine, light and dark, positive and negative, fire and earth or air and water, or between earth, air, fire, and water, or between elements of other cultures and belief systems, like earth, metal, water, wood, and fire. In Yoga, you might try to achieve physical balance, mastering a pose you couldn't do before. Gymnasts, dancers, and other athletes certainly strive for this kind of balance, as well. But it goes beyond even these things. You should strive for a balanced diet, a balanced meal, one of the other links I read mentioned a balanced checkbook! A balance between school and social life, or between work and play. A balance between caring for your family and caring for yourself. There are many, many aspects of our lives where we need balance, and this is why it's a goal. Not only for witches, but for everyone.

6) Keep Your Words in Good Order -- It may be a cliche, but it's for good reason: "If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all." That's just one part of this goal, in my mind. Keeping your words in good order means thinking before you speak, absolutely. And when you think about it, the best decision may be not to say anything at all. Cutting over into the Wiccan Rede, "Speak ye little, listen much." Maybe it's better to save your words for now. But another part of this goal is just finding the right words. It's not always appropriate or even helpful to remain silent, so keep your words in good order by thinking about what you're going to say and saying it in the best way possible. Many people speak before they've thought it through and may end up regretting their words, either immediately or later on. Save that trouble by being aware of the words you're using. Know why you use certain words. Use the best words for the purpose. This applies to speaking, writing, spellcraft, any time you use words to communicate.

7) Keep Your Thoughts in Good Order -- One of the other links I read switches this goal with #6, making the point that before we can keep our words in good order, we must first keep our thoughts in good order. Thus, think before you speak. I like to think of it that way, though I maintained this order for the list. Very similar to the previous, this goal is about keeping track of what we're thinking. I do a lot of spellcraft using positive affirmation. I believe that thinking positively affects our lives for the better. And I know for a fact that negative thinking breeds negative results. Without even getting into the psychology of it all, I think many people, witches and non-practitioners, can agree on the fact that the way we think influences our actions, our relationships, the way we interpret things that happen to us, and so on. Keeping your thoughts in check is extremely important, and also extremely difficult for some people, or even for all people at certain times in life. We think things before we even notice it consciously. I will not pretend for a second that I have this goal mastered. Remember, that's why these are goals. Know yourself, and be honest with yourself, enough to keep working on the goals that elude you. It's all a process.

Helpful Hint: You know how people knock on wood after saying or thinking something that might "jinx" a situation? I definitely do that. Always three times! This comes from knocking on trees to ask the spirits of the trees, or creatures living inside, for help. You can knock on wood as a reminder to yourself not to think a certain way. Or, you can do what my mother, Rev. Rose does! When she thinks or says something that she realizes is not the best order for her thoughts or words to be in, she looks up to the sky, sometimes points or gestures, and emphatically says, "Cancel that!"

A theatrical trick: Just then, I said "not to think a certain way." This is not the best order for my words! In the theatre, actors are given motivation for their character. As a director, one of the least helpful things is to tell an actor what NOT to do. Think about it, when someone tells you "Whatever you do, do not look at that lamp," it's going to be really hard not to look there! "Don't think about polar bears." Same! It's much easier to give an actor a positive motivation, such as "Look at the door," or "Think about water buffalo." So take a stage hint, and give yourself a POSITIVE motivation. That is, give yourself something TO DO, instead of trying hard not to do something. One of my old roommates had the personal mantra, "DON'T PANIC." I used to replace her notes to herself which said that, with the positive mantra, "BE CALM."

8) Celebrate Life -- Yay, Life! Spiritually speaking, we revere life. We revere the cycle of nature, which is the circle of life (cue The Lion King). Birth, life, death, rebirth. There are many different cycles, not all of which I can name in a short paragraph. This goal is just about that. Celebrate Life in all its forms. Celebrate your life, the life of others, the life of non-human animate beings, and even the life and existence of inanimate beings. Celebrate life rather than mourning death. Honor the Life of all things, all peoples, all places. Sometimes, when a baby cries and screams in a public place and other people are getting annoyed with the child and its parents, I tend to smile to myself remembering this goal. I have to smile, because yes that baby is crying right now and that may be distracting and sad, but that baby is ALIVE and doing what babies DO! And that's awesome! People in general can get really annoying and make you sad or angry or any number of negative emotions. Some people just really are not worth our time to worry about. But hey, that's just another part of life, too. Adversity. Experience. Life. Life is worth celebrating.

9) Attune with the Cycles of the Earth -- Okay, I just talked about cycles. But this goal is specifically about tuning into that cycle of nature I just mentioned, being on the same frequency, riding the same waves. Maybe even literally! Many pagan paths are nature-based. And even if not, our own lives follow the basic cycles we can observe in nature. So however you have to view it in your own mind, in order to make it fit your path and your way of seeing the world, attuning to nature is a great goal to have. You learn so much more about things when you focus on them, and really find them interesting. The Earth continues in its revolutions and orbit no matter what we're focusing on, but when you tap into that energy yourself, and become an active part in the cycle, that is so much more. Don't let the world just go by without you, under the radar, doing its own thing. Make it part of your thing, happening with you, not to you or despite you. You are a part of Nature, and you live on the Earth (presumably?). You're a part of this. Be an active participant.

10) Breathe and Eat Correctly -- If you follow the Wiccan Rede (I say if because I do hope that non-Wiccans read this, and I truly believe most of these goals apply to many more types of pagans/witches, and even to completely non-magickal people, and all the goals apply if you think of them in your own context), then you may see this goal as being an essential part of following that advice to Harm None. Harming None starts with the Self. This goal is so simply stated, but so hard to do for a lot of people. It is just about taking care of yourself, for you are your greatest asset, your most prized possession. Staying healthy and working toward that actively is a necessary goal for anyone, but on a pagan path it extends to our non-physical body, and affects our practice. It may also mirror our belief. If you believe in taking care of Nature, you are part of Nature and should therefore take good care of yourself, too. If you like meditation (more on that soon), then breathing correctly is important for your health but also for your focus, intention, and relaxation. Whatever your reason is, this goal is about caring for yourself, and is a very important goal.

11) Exercise the Body -- Remember all that stuff earlier about reading, learning, studying...? That's a lot of exercising for your brain! But unless you run back and forth to the library, that stuff doesn't necessarily take care of the rest of you, namely, your physical body. For some people this is very difficult, and personal conditions always vary. But quite simply, that's the point of this goal: Remember that working out your brain is great, but you cannot neglect your body. Your physical being is still YOU. A part of you. Your vessel in this realm, if you like to think of it that way. Your physical body is just as important as your mind and spirit, which is why we frequently talk about the three together.

12) Meditate -- There are so many ways to meditate, and so many purposes for meditation. You might meditate to relax or to clear your mind, or you can also meditate to focus and work out a problem. Meditation involves practice in correct breathing, posture, focus and concentration, maybe also visualization, practice in receiving messages auditorily or in other ways... Basically, since there are so many ways and reasons to meditate, everyone can do it. You just have to find the way that's right for you. Some people meditate while walking or driving, often subconsciously. We get focused on a single task and part of our mind wanders and goes through different streams even while our conscious mind remains completely alert to the task at hand. This is why I have often found myself snapping back from a meditative state while driving, even knowing full well that I was at no point ever unaware of the road or unfocused on driving safely. When I was in high school concert band, we played the same songs so many times that during class and even in concerts, I would find myself ending a piece, not remembering having played ANY of it because my mind was in a meditative state, yet knowing that I had played the entire piece accurately and with complete attention from a different part of my brain. My point being, anyone can meditate, and most people probably DO meditate without even knowing it. Meditation doesn't always have to be sitting in the lotus position with zither music playing in the background, or with incense burning and someone gently intoning the instructions for what you should be seeing right now. I think many people shy away from meditation thinking it's not something they would like, or would want to do. But I posit that there is a way for everyone, and the benefits of meditation are multiple and varied, so it's a good goal to strive toward.

13) Honor the Goddess and God -- Obviously, the way this goal is written makes it the most belief-specific. In a Wiccan context, it's pretty self-explanatory. Honor the Goddess and God in your own way, respect them, and respect them by respecting yourself, for you are their child, their sibling, their lover, their friend. Give them a place in your rites, in your heart, in your mind, and in your life. Thank them for what they have given you, what they've done for you. Thank them and know that they are (t)here. If you're not Wiccan, but are some other sort of Theist, this goal can easily be thought of as honoring whatever Force or Form you do honor and revere. For my mother, this goal might be simply "Honor God." For other polytheists, maybe "Honor the Gods." For even me, beyond God and Goddess I usually refer to what I feel is the ultimate connective power, that which the Goddess and God represent to me, which the energy of the Universe itself, Universal Energy. I may choose to instead think, "Honor the Universe," or even "Honor Your Connection with the Universe" which would mean my relations with other people and things on this earth as well as the over-arching concepts of the Universe at large. The final principle of Unitarian Universalism is "respect for the interdependent web of all existence of which we are a part." That could easily be thought of as this last goal. And if you're a non-theist, atheist, agnostic, or some other such term, think of this goal as being about whatever it is that you do believe in and hold dear. Maybe you believe, above all, in Truth. Honesty. Friendship. Loyalty. Maybe you want to Honor Honor. Maybe it's Family. Love. Humanity. Not everyone has religious faith, or even a spirituality, but people still generally hold something very close to their hearts. Something personal, a code they choose to follow. That's what this goal is about.


Thank you all for reading, and I do hope it helps not only this questioner, but those who have wondered about these goals in the past, and also those who will find it in the future. Do read other people's interpretations of the same goals to get a different feel, and try writing out what the goals mean to you. I will put some links at the bottom, to the two other pages I read (which I mentioned here), and there are many more online for you to find.

I wish you luck and light on your journey.
Blessings~
-C-


Here are some other people's interpretations:
--http://www.thewiccanway.org/13goals.html
--http://www.angelfire.com/ma/cyrannahome/goals.html

Short & Sweet (Fox News, Wiccans/pagans, prejudice reduction)

Hey, Readers,

I'm sure by now you have all heard about Fox News' crew, Fox & Friends, saying some ridiculous things about Wiccans and Pagans. It all started because the University of Missouri recognizes Wiccan/pagan holidays on their academic calendar, so that professors cannot give exams on religious holidays, which means students no longer have to choose between studying or attending an exam and practicing their religion. It's not a day off classes, just no exams. This is great! With the large pagan population at UM, it's also completely understandable. But if you try to find information about this online, at least in my experience when I tried it, the majority of articles are neither neutral nor praising UM, nor are they pagan-centered. The majority of articles that came up when I searched it were from Christian-based sites (many had Christian in the name of the website, so I knew immediately, while I had to click on others with non-specific names which revealed their religious status on the page top) arguing that UM is wrong to include these holidays because Wiccans and Pagans are too small a minority, or too much of a "fringe" religion/belief (I don't even think most of them granted us the word "religion") to have our holidays recognized.

What happened was that Fox News did a segment about this, expressing their opinions. A few things they said were said as fact and are not, of course, but they were at least expressing their opinion and the views of the channel. Anyone who knows Fox knows that they have a distinctly conservative bias to begin with. I don't know if they know this, but there are certainly conservative pagans out there, even if most of us are more liberal. So while I and my friends never watch Fox News, there could have very well been some pagans out there watching. I only watched a partial clip of what people are now calling their "attack on Wicca," where the main comments were things such as (and I am paraphrasing but as closely as I can remember),

• There are pagans and Wiccans out there, I guess, though I don't know if they constitute a significant portion of the population.
• (in response to the previous) They don't. [laughter]
• Fully 20% of the holidays at UM are Wiccan/pagan holidays! (Said as though that were absurd.)
• (Shortly after) Wiccans have 20 holidays!
• I bet Wiccans can't even name all their holidays. Who can name 20 holidays?
• But we can't say Merry Christmas? [nervous laughter]
• I guess if you're going to choose a religion, pick the one with the most holidays, haha.
• Any religion that has Halloween as their most significant holiday, I just can't take seriously.
• All the Wiccans I know are about the Earth and for the Earth. That's nice.
• All the Wiccans I know play D&D and live in basements or are middle-aged women who have been divorced multiple times and work as midwives, hahaha. Also something about loving incense.
• I don't know a single Wiccan!

And so on and so forth. And this was only in a few-minutes-long partial clip. The things I heard about the rest of what they said go on to things like "I wouldn't want to see a Wiccan when they're angry," and "They all hate Christianity." So as you can gather, the things they said were just silly, not researched (they even confused their own data, going from 20% into 20 holidays total), and clearly biased. I mean, we understand this simply based on the channel that aired it. Anyone who knows Fox probably was not surprised. The closest to accuracy they got was the person who admitted knowing that Wicca had something to do with the Earth and nature, but that was quickly bowled over by the other person's stereotypes.

Still, I did a response video, addressing things such as the fact that they said they don't know any Wiccans, so now they know me; the amount of holidays we have and that we can name all eight; the percentage issue, because they never said how many holidays UM celebrates, which I learned from a Washington Times article is 42, and 8 of 42 holidays is 19%; the fact that UM recognizes more Jewish holidays than Wiccan/pagan ones (11 as opposed to 8, so I guess if you choose the religion with the most holidays, go for Judaism); and so on. I kept this video as short as possible because I know people aren't going to want to watch something long, and I planned for the possibility that Fox might actually see my video. I kept this video respectful, because while some people may not earn our respect, I believe it does not benefit us to call names or get riled up and prove their point.

Now, I have been informed that one of the people from Fox did "apologize" on Saturday morning, but I didn't see it. From what I heard, his comments were brief, insincere, and basically just said something like I didn't mean to offend any Wiccans, Wiccans have never done wrong by me, live and let live. Which I guess is a nice sentiment, but I don't need any "apology" that is purely to be able to say you apologized. I know they don't feel bad or even realize why the things they said were wrong (the others didn't even apologize, only one person, though I think it was the guy who said the most ridiculous things, at least), so I say, don't even say anything! I didn't sign the petition to get an apology because 1) I knew it wouldn't be sincere and 2) that's not what we need. We need understanding, education, prejudice reduction.

And you know what? It's on us, too. Since this started, YouTube has been recommending other videos that people did in response to this situation, and while I watched some by people I usually watch (linked in my video's description), others were by people whose names I recognize but don't watch, or from people I've never heard of. Most of them were 15-35 minutes long, and the thumbnails revealed the person's face or body language in a position showing anger, lack of control, or generally looking like they were "ranting." One thumbnail shows someone with their face contorted, hands thrown up in attack mode. Another shows a sarcastic look, mouth open mid-challenge, and the incredible length of the video is what told me it must be a rant. I say to you, fellow Wiccans and Pagans, how does that help us? Do you think they're going to listen to an angry witch yell at them for half an hour or even fifteen minutes? Do you think name-calling and raised voices make them take us any more seriously? It was with all these things in mind that I did my video. I scripted it to make sure I said what I wanted to but did not ramble, I put in my real thoughts about their negative biases and lack of credibility while still remaining respectful and calm, and I attempted to include a solution. My video invites those at Fox News, or anyone watching it, to ask me or any other Wiccan or Pagan about our religion. It invites people to educate themselves, because education is the key to prejudice reduction.

We deal with things like this all the time, whether from family and friends, or from strangers online or through TV. In my opinion, we should speak our peace and not stand by and let people spread falsehood against us. We should be honest about what was said incorrectly and what was wrong that needs fixed. But we do not need to follow their example. There is no need for name-calling, stereotyping and generalizing, shouting, or other such things. While these things certainly make us feel better (and you can bet I did my fair share of laughing and cursing while explaining this ridiculous occurrence to my mother and boyfriend), that's not how to handle interpersonal relationships. And actually, if I got a chance to speak to the Fox News people in person, I wouldn't be ashamed to admit what I said in private to my mother and boyfriend, because I still didn't call them names or belittle their own beliefs. So the point is that we can deal with these things in a way that remains respectful and respectable while still sticking up for ourselves, and there is no need for these extra-long, rambling videos that YouTube keeps recommending to me. Sometimes it's best to keep it short and sweet.

Watch my video here.

Click to Tweet the video to Fox News.

Blessings~

-C-

Dianic Wicca & Transgender Pagans QUOTES

Hey, Readers!

I really don't like posting so many things so close together, and I just published my blog about Enlightenment yesterday, but I have some supplemental materials to post that go along with my Tuesday Pagan Perspective video (which, unfortunately, took so long to upload due to our recent internet connection issues that it is now Wednesday).

Watch the video here.

This post outlines some specific quotes I looked at for my quick research. The previous post is the script of my notes for the video.

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Dianic Wicca & Transgender Pagans SCRIPT

Hey, Readers!

I really don't like posting so many things so close together, and I just published my blog about Enlightenment yesterday, but I have some supplemental materials to post that go along with my Tuesday Pagan Perspective video (which, unfortunately, took so long to upload due to our recent internet connection issues that it is now Wednesday).

Watch the video here.

This post is the script of my notes for the video. The following post will outline some specific quotes I looked at for my quick research.

This script is not word for word. This time I'm posting my notes exactly as they were! So there may be improper grammar and stream of consciousness, rather than full sentences as you would see if I were writing it as a blog. The video took forever to render and upload (a good six hours, ending at 5am), so I'm not taking the time to edit the notes. This is just here in case someone wants to look over text after hearing it spoken, or to refresh on the points made.

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The topic comes from runesofshamish
--"I have just come across the practice of Dianic Wicca. They only accept "Women born Women" . So no males are allowed, this includes transwomen (male to female transgender). Taking this beyond the realm of Wicca and into the larger pagan community. How do you feel about Women only or Men only circles and groups and transgender pagans? Do you think Women's groups should include transwomen (mtf) and Men's groups should include transmen (ftm) ? Or somewhere in between. I.E., yes except if the group does some work sky clad, they could be asked to leave."

Enlightenment Road

Hey, Readers!

Sometime last year, my mother gave me yet another wonderful gift: a small box of cards, labeled "Words of Wisdom from His Holiness the Dalai Lama." She got the set from a friend and thought I would be interested in it. She knows me very well! I immediately read the biographical information about the Dalai Lama on the first card, learning a lot that I hadn't known before just because I never really researched him specifically. Then I decided to look at one card each day. I kept that up for a while, but of course missed a lot of days, as well. Now, I change to the next card whenever I remember or feel the need to. Sometimes one message is necessary for more than one day.

My "Words of Wisdom" card for the day.

Today, I switched the deck to show the next card in the stack:

"YOUR ENLIGHTENMENT RESTS ON YOUR OWN SHOULDERS."

My enlightenment rests on my shoulders.
Your enlightenment rests on yours.

This is a very important thing to remember. It is not Enlightenment (capital E) that rests on you, only YOUR enlightenment. It is personal and individual. No one else is responsible for our own personal journey to enlightenment, whatever that means for us. And likewise, we are not responsible for anyone else's journey. Each of us will get there in our own way, in our own time.

Luckily, we can still help each other along the way, sharing ideas and insights and experiences, and we will and DO benefit so much from each and every person we encounter. This is wonderful and beneficial to all involved. The past several weeks at the UU church I attend have been centered around Buddhism, the basics of the beliefs/philosophy and how we can incorporate them into our own lives. I really like the unison Chalice Lighting we have all said each week, and I think it applies here:

"May no one who encounters us ever have an insignificant contact. May the mere fact of our meeting contribute to their fulfillment. May we be a protector of the helpless, a guide to those traveling the path, a boat to those wishing to cross over. May we be a lamp for those in darkness, a home for the homeless, and a servant to the world."   -Shantideva, 8th cent. Buddhist spiritual master and mystic

A Unitarian Universalist "Flaming Chalice"
Photo by Nancy Pierce, from UUA.org

For those unfamiliar with Unitarian Universalist practice, the Chalice Lighting is whatever words are said to accompany the physical lighting of the Chalice, a symbol of UU faith. It has a specific look in most cases (the photo at left shows a traditional style), but can be any style of lamp or flame. At my church, the Chalice is a stout pillar candle sitting in a large, shallow ceramic bowl on a stand. The bowl/stand itself is a work of art, clearly handmade though I don't know by whom.

The words said vary from week to week, but always reflect the idea of the congregation being a light, illuminating something for ourselves and each other and the world. So for this Buddhism series, the minister chose that quote and chose to have us all recite it. (The first week, we were also making scarves for the homeless, making our position as "a home for the homeless" that much more relevant. I'll write about that another time.)


The Dalai Lama's words are important to think about. This past Sunday at church, we focused on meditation, and this card's simple message could be a great mantra. Shantideva's words are also poignant and meaningful. While these two ideas may seem contradictory--one saying it's up to you, and the other desiring involvement in other people's journeys--they really do work together. We can and should be helpful in other people's lives, and we should strive to make every meeting and connection a positive one for all parties involved and for the world at large. And that striving to positively influence others is part of developing our own personal journey to enlightenment. My personal enlightenment absolutely includes leaving positive impressions on everyone I come into contact with, as well as learning from those who can leave a positive impression on me in return.

I'm aware that this sounds a lot like the cycle of Selflessness-to-Selfishness that my undergrad history class discussed in relation to Saints and other religious figures. The idea is that although people are being selfless, putting themselves out there as servants of God, it is also because the work makes them feel fulfilled or promises them a good afterlife. Therefore, the more selfless their work, the more selfish they are, and in being selfish they work harder to be selfless for other people. It's impossible to tell exactly where in this cycle they lie, because it goes around continually. So yes, this topic sounds a bit like we're being selfish, but that makes sense. Of course my own enlightenment is about me! Yours is all about you, too! It is self-centered, by nature, in the most literal sense. Our journey is centered on our Self. It has to be. If we do not put our own enlightenment into our own hands, who will? No one else is responsible. Other people can help, and I could name so many people right now who have been and continue to be instrumental in my journey! But it should not offend them, nor should I feel that I am offending them by saying, that when it comes right down to it, we are all responsible for taking action toward our own Truth, our own Enlightenment.

"YOUR ENLIGHTENMENT RESTS ON YOUR OWN SHOULDERS."

It doesn't mean that we can't assist others, or that we should ignore others by focusing resolutely on ourselves. It simply means, to me, that I have to remember one thing: If I desire to be Enlightened, then I have to make that effort. It's not up to the people who help me along my path to make sure I reach Enlightenment. I have to make the effort, put in the energy, make the changes myself. I already know that my personal Enlightenment Road passes by many areas where I help others and they help me. But I also know that I've already had to explain to some people that THEIR personal enlightenment/journey/spiritual experience is not my responsibility. I can lend a hand, give ideas, and share what I personally have experienced, but that cannot and will not replace someone's own experiences. I can write as much as I want on here, or make as many videos as I want sharing what I have learned, but that will never substitute for my readers or viewers having their own epiphanies. (And knowing how great those moments are, I would never dream of taking them away from someone!) Similarly, I can seek advice from my spiritual friends, but it only supplements my own path. I have to do the work of thinking about their advice, ruminating on it, trying things out, and figuring out how it applies to me. And I believe it is the same for you, and for everyone.

Paths cross. People walk together. One long, wide road is made up of many smaller, overlapping paths. Whether moving forward in a crowd, or taking another route utterly alone, you are on your path and no one else's.

Blessings~
-C-

An Appearance

Hey, Readers,

Recently, my friend Órflaith Robin interviewed me for her popular blog, Musings of a Young Irish Witch. You may read the post by clicking on the following link!

Prominent Pagan Project Part IV

The preceding interviews (Parts I-III) and the one following that is up at the time I'm writing this (Part V) have covered people that I know or used to know, and at least one person I'd never heard of but who I may come to know very soon because they auditioned for The Pagan Perspective! This project of hers is very interesting because, since she's not me, it already includes both people that I am very close to, and people that I've had fundamental disagreements with. No matter what you believe, you can find someone on YouTube whose views are close to yours, if not exact. Plenty of people disagree with me, and plenty call me sister. All viewpoints are worth listening to, because they help you either by identification or opposition.

Even though I have significantly fewer readers here, I would like to take the opportunity to thank Órflaith for including me in this project (which she says I inspired in the first place, which I think is remarkable) and for taking on such a big project at all.

Thank you!
And thank you all for reading.

I hope you had a blessed Yule, and as you can see from a recent video, my plans didn't work out as I wrote about them previously. Still, I hope you all enjoyed a pleasant solstice!

Blessings~
-C-

Yule Celebrations!

Hey, Readers!

In my last post, I briefly mentioned that I had several possible plans for Yule, but no definites. Here's what has turned out!

The women's group I've been attending circles with already had their Yule celebration last weekend, but I had to work so I couldn't make it. I actually got sent home from work sick that day, so I was technically free but was ill and slept to regain my health instead. (It's just a cold, but I work at a health care facility, so I can't be at work around patients if I have ANY kind of symptoms. I've been sent home several times before because of my stomach issues and nausea, as well.) So anyway, I missed that celebration and their planned gift exchange.

My friend... (I'll start calling him my friend, because he used to be my drama club director in high school, but now I'm an adult and his wife is the temporary minister of the church I attend so we have a different relationship now... Friend is also much easier to say!) Therefore, my friend is performing a winter solstice service for a mixed group on Friday and he's invited me to attend that! It's a long drive for me, and it takes place shortly after I get off work, but I'm going to ask my boss tomorrow if I could leave work a little earlier on Friday in order to make it. If not, I will just get there RIGHT on time or a bit late, but I plan to attend that.

And the final option for celebration was to do something with my ex-boyfriend and his recently-wedded wife at their home. All they thought of to do was dinner and a bonfire, and I did really want to include a fire in my celebration, so I might go just for that. With the mixed group service being earlier and so far away, I'm not sure what time I'd be back to have dinner, so I'm not positive about this third one. I'm not even sure I want to celebrate with them, since I know there's quite a bit of love lost and I've also recently learned that my ex now believes in a lot of things he was never interested in when we dated, which disagree with my practice entirely. So it looks like it would be increasingly difficult to find common ground for an actual group celebration.

Anyway, those are the plans and possibilities! I will be sure to write about whatever ends up happening.

Have a happy holiday season, all!
Blessings~
-C-

Pre-Yule Update

Hey, Readers,

Lots to do, no time at all in which to do it! That goes for my personal life as well as my interpersonal relationships, spiritual practice, day job... You name it. We're always reaching for time, time, time.

It's no wonder I take such pleasure in time travel-centered television shows and movies. While I would never want to change anything, I can relate to the feeling of endless time and space.

As you probably know, I am now living at Grams' house. My mother and her husband have not left yet, but everyone thinks my anxiety and anger at this time is due to their immanent departure. I guarantee that this is not so. Everyone clings to an acceptable answer and crowds around giving me advice for that supposed reality. But the truth is, hardly anyone who's bothering to console me could even take the time to understand what's really wrong. I let them go on thinking the most simple of answers. I save the rest for my close friends, boyfriend, and vague mentions on the internet that I can look back on later.

Due to the move, my day job, and visiting my boyfriend in my major time off, I've had no time to organize anything. I made my bed and put my clothes away in various dressers (I have extra furniture here!). Downstairs, I arranged my futon with mom's showcase as a coffee table on the floor, and my cousin and I hung an old-fashioned lamp from the ceiling above it. My books are (mostly) on shelves, but not in my usual order yet. All the craft supplies are at least in one area of the room, if not all put away. It is a very gradual process. I work all day, come home and eat and maybe take a nap because I'm so tired all the time, and then do whatever is necessary for the day. As you can imagine, this does not always include organizing a section of my life. Very infrequently does it mean time for "practice" in the formal sense, though I keep my usual spiritual elements of daily life throughout.

You know, some people would arrange their altars first, and let the rest of their life take shape from there. I didn't. My altar tables are in general locations, but they are not set up. Instead I focused on my beds, getting my cat comfortable in her new surroundings, and making sure my uniforms for work were all in a reachable location. I set up my "relationship altar," however--the space of reminders of my boyfriend who is attending grad school three hours away. That, and my yoga mat, were kept close at hand from the start.

And though it's fast approaching and it seems I'll have nothing put together by then, I will be doing something for Yule. This will be the first year I celebrate Yule with other people. I'm not exactly sure what will happen, since I was invited to several things, but I hope to find out whether or not those things are all happening fairly soon so I can plan. One is happening some distance away and is a solstice celebration that my former director is hosting, so I know it's not a solely pagan event as he's a Universal minister, not pagan himself. Another is just that the women's group I attended a few times normally does things for holidays, so I thought their monthly meeting might be for Yule, but I haven't heard any plans yet. The third is more complicated: I addressed some "pagan" "friends" of mine about having constantly turned down my invitations to practice or celebrate together over the years, about ignoring my suggestions but turning around and advertising it themselves as though they thought of it all, etc. They completely missed the important points and instead of truly seeking to rectify the issues, they thought it would be enough to just invite me to celebrate Yule with them. I said I would like to have a bonfire, which is the only thing they could think of, but the Universal event is the same night because they're all doing it on solstice night. So I'm just not sure what will end up happening.

My boyfriend will be away for the entire holiday season, which is why I used my time off last weekend to visit him instead of unpacking my life into the new house. Everyone else in my family will be with the people they are romantically involved with (if they have them, which most do. Here I think of Grams, whose loving husband has been gone for some years. But even he will be with us). Yet I will have to celebrate the winter holidays without my other half for the first time in years.

There is a lot to contend with in my physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual lives. A lot to give over to the darkness, a lot to bring forth from the light.

-----

so much depends
upon

a length of
time

pushed and pulled
taught

within a set
reality

-----

With thanks to W.C.W.

Blessings~
-C-

Samhain Blog!

Today is Samhain (or tonight is, if you go by the night of Oct. 31/day of Nov. 1 rule) and here's what's up!

On Sunday, my UU church had a multigenerational Samhain/Halloween service, meaning the kids were present with the adults instead of having their separate classes, and people dressed in costume and it was a good time. The minister said "SAH-ween" at first, and then as she continued to speak it became more and more altered until she was saying "suh-WEEN." But, oh well. The minister and several other women were dressed as witches (one of whom spoke to me a couple weeks ago about my path), and I have to admit, I was a bit offended at only one point. That was when the minister, who had been wearing a large, pointed "witch" hat with a spiderweb design on it, got up to deliver her homily without the hat. She addressed this first, saying, "I don't feel it would be appropriate to give the homily in a witch hat." At that point I hadn't been wearing my small, headband/hat, so I put it on and said "Why not?"

The truth is, wearing the hat probably would have helped. Remember, the hat is like a visible, physical cone of power, channeling energy from above into you. I didn't find an appropriate time to tell her this because I was too busy chatting with other people, eating sweet potato and lentil soup (we had a soup lunch and placed an extra bowl in the memorial garden for the ancestors), and being a little freaked out in the haunted house that the younger kids made! But I think I will send her an email, at the very least, when I find a moment. It's not right to know a witch or two and not know basic fun facts like that.

Sunday evening, my friend's group had a "not so dumb supper," but I didn't attend because it's an hour in the opposite direction from where I was and I wouldn't have had time to get ready. So instead I made a video giving people ideas for how to celebrate Samhain, and worked on some other things, including packing some more for my approaching move to Grams' house.

As for today, I'm not doing anything fancy or formal. I was supposed to work today, but I asked my boss yesterday for today off in addition to Thursday which I already had off, because some things came up and it would be helpful to not have to work. She didn't even ask my reasons, she just said okay and even put it down as Paid Time Off (though I haven't worked there long enough to earn PTO)! I'm very grateful because instead of working 7:00am until 3:30pm and heading out around 5:00pm, I woke up at 8:30, started my iPod charging, painted some pendants (one of which I need to ship to a customer today and the other which is part of my costume!), and now I have to wrap my boyfriend's presents, type up the blessing I wrote for my friends' wedding, and pack for my trip.

Yes, my trip. Today is Halloween and Samhain and also the magic birthday of my boyfriend! Magic, meaning he turns 31 today, and 31 on the 31st = magic birthday! Mine was my Sweet Sixteen--16 on the 16th. When was yours? Has it passed, or is it still to come?

So today I am driving out of state, 3-3.5 hours, to visit my boyfriend at grad school for his birthday. Since I didn't have to work, I'll be heading out around 1pm in order to arrive around 4:30pm, which should be after he finishes work and before he has to go to class. I'm bringing my laptop and some things to work on so I can do things while he's in class, and tonight we'll probably just dress up and go out somewhere. Then I have to drive back Thursday evening for work on Friday.

I'm speaking very calmly about it now, but I'm really extremely nervous. I've never driven on freeways or interstates, and I've never driven for longer than an hour at a time. But I have the GPS (though it's not showing the route I want to take) and I have maps and directions there AND back. So I do feel quite a bit better about the trip. And I'm very glad to be able to leave at 1pm instead of 5pm because I'll be able to avoid much more traffic and it will not be as dark while I'm driving. And since it's still raining (Hurricane Sandy fringe rain), I'm glad for the daylight and extra elbox room concerning time, so I don't feel that I need to rush. But I'm still nervous, which is why I'm making sure I have plenty of music to listen to along the way and won't have to take my concentration from the road for a moment.

I have several messages to answer on YouTube, but they'll have to wait until I'm settled in at the apartment this evening. I have too much to prepare this morning!

Blessings~
-C-

Colorful Magick

Hey, Readers,

I'm actually about to head out the door and become busy for the next few hours, and probably just retire to shower and bed upon my return home. But I wanted to post a quick, quick little thing. It's something I've said probably dozens of times now, between my videos, Pagan Perspective videos, messages to people, conversations, and Tweets.

"White" and "black" magick. *shudder*

Those terms, used seriously, make my eyes roll instantly. This is one of the things that continues to bother me under the surface. While I know it doesn't truly make any difference in the long run, it irks me, still.

Magick is magick.

When we do magick (or magic, however you choose to spell it is fine), we often use color. Or colour. =) I love using color symbolism in my workings, and often, the energy I'm working with will take on a color. So yes, magick involves color. But I simply do not buy that there is such a thing as "white magick" and a thing such as "black magick." Magick is itself, colorless and all colors, beyond categorization like that of a box of crayons. It is a tool, and as such can be used any way the practitioner desires. Magick has the capability of doing good, and of being used for less than good.

I understand that this is what most people mean when they say "white" and "black" magick, but I think some people are still using the terms as though they mean separate things. People will say things like "I practice white magick, I would never do black magick." But that doesn't have anything to do with the magick. The magick you're using can do both. It's YOU that makes the decision. YOU that has the flavor for good or otherwise. I will not say "bad" or "evil" because I don't think that's proper, either. Not in this case. Not all which is not light is bad.

Anyway, I think we could all get a lot more out of life and our practice by doing away with such "black and white" imagery as putting magick, something profound and encompassing of many possibilities, into a box of crayons. The colors in this case are symbols, no more. Visual aids.

Magick is the box the colors are in, and the hammer and nails or clay or stone used to create it, and the carpenter or sculptor or some such creator. Magick is so much more.

Blessings~
-C-

P.S. There is a video on my channel about this, which I'll link later on. Or search it for yourself, YouTube username cutewitch772, video name "What is Magick?" I think. Cheers.