Devotion, One Season In

 

Hello, dear readers!

The equinox has passed, which means that I am into the second quarter of my personal theme of the year. I have shared a little bit of detail about my work in the first quarter in the Discord associated with my Patreon (if you support my Patreon, you have the option of also joining the discord server through that, by linking your Discord and Patreon accounts), for those who may be interested. For this second quarter, however, I probably won't share as much in the way of specifics.

Deity relationships are quite personal, and I have found so far that I am most comfortable talking about them with folks who I am close to in community, and not so much on the general internet. I am someone who has various circles of community - followers online who I might not know at all; Patreon supporters who I have a chance to get to know a little more personally through more regular chatting, but still might not know well; community in my tradition, who I work with regularly online or in person and know quite well; and close friends. As such, there are different groups of people with whom I share different things. As this is a general internet space, I will stick to general practice, as I always have.

I wanted to share here the list of associations I've come up with for myself to work toward figuring out or creating for myself with each deity. I may not check every box for each one, but this has been a fun way for me to explore these relationships. When we search online we might commonly find information about deities such as the animals, plants, food and beverages, and areas of influence associated with each one. Some of the things on my list are those types of things, and others go beyond that. I can look up some of these things online as a starting point, but there is also the step of actually utilizing them, or, or finding substitutions and alternatives where the info online might not work for my personal practice and what I have available.

Let's get to the list, and then I'll share more of my thoughts about the process so far!

Yoga Review

Hey, Readers,

It's been a while since I posted anything here, and to be honest, it was almost longer! Then I realized that instead of posting this on Facebook, I could make it a blog and simply link to it there. So here we are. =) I've blogged about my Yoga practice in the past, but life got busy and I stopped attending classes (after only going to my first two ever!) and then, eventually, stopped making time to do it at home regularly. This year, I got my butt (and the rest of me) in gear and went to another class, at a different studio. I've now gone to three within a two week span, and plan to possibly attend TWO more tomorrow.

How did I suddenly find the time and money for this? It just so happened that the Yoga studio I've started attending was having a 50% off sale on their One Month Unlimited Yoga pass, so I took them up on the offer knowing that if I attend even five classes within that 30-day span of time, it'd be well worth it. Well, here we are, three classes down, maybe soon to be five, and still three weeks left on my pass. I feel great, and I'm progressing pretty well within my own practice! Tonight I learned a few adjustments that I'm trying to incorporate into my muscle memory, so when I got home, I decided to record a few poses in order to see what they look like and where I am with them now. These poses are by no means "exact," but they are different for everyone and different variations and modifications are available depending on what your body needs, so here is just a look at where I am right now with the poses I chose to look at tonight. I don't know all of their Sanskrit names, so I'll call them by their English monikers here.

Strengthening Spirituality - Blog Prompt

Hey, Readers!

There are, as always, a cluster of related and unrelated things that I want to blog/vlog about at any given time, and that often results in my not knowing WHAT to post, so I end up not posting. It's a bad habit many of us get into. Today, however, while researching for my Tuesday PaganPerspective video on Pagan views of marriage/gender roles, I found the "Mom's a Witch" blog, and the Pagan Blog Prompts. So today I'd like to write using one of the blog prompts from February. Enjoy!

What is something you can do this month to bring you closer to the Goddess? 
How can you strengthen your spirituality?

I know for a fact that when I make the time and put forth more effort towards my spiritual practice, the rewards are great, but for some reason, with my life being as busy as it sometimes is these days, that doesn't make it any easier to actually do it! However, there are a few things that I can do periodically that help, and with spring fast approaching here in the northern hemisphere, some of my favorite things will be timely and simple ways to be closer to the Goddess:

• Gardening! I love caring for my potted plants, and it's about time to start some new ones from seeds.
• Similarly, this is a great time to start walking outside again. With good weather comes good nature walks.
• Many forms of reverence. There is always the option to pray more, sing more, dance more. Do Yoga more. Paint more. Whatever works.
• Celebrate with others when possible. It always feels better to me to share with others, even though I have a solitary practice most of the time. It also helps keep me accountable to observations. =)
• Treat everyday chores as a gift to the Goddess, or at least an opportunity to connect with the elements. I do this often, anyway, but it's always a big help.

Here's looking forward to spring!

Blessings~

-C-

A Threshold Path (Poem)

Hey, Readers!

Long time no see, eh? I've been meaning to update, and of course there are several things I could have written about, I just haven't made the time in my busy schedule lately. Tonight, I got online intending to spend an hour or so answering messages and emails, and then watching a few videos. Well, a few hours later, I was still answering messages, and now I have a list of topics to mention next time I do a video.

One thing I will mention is the impetus for this post, which is that I received an email notification of a comment left here on my blog. The comment was letting me know that I have been added to the Pagan Blog Directory! And there is a brand new blog button on the sidebar of my blog to prove it. =) (Shown to the right, here.)

The directory was evidently lost, so it's being redone, so if you know of any blogs that used to be on it, please submit them to the directory so they may be re-added. Likewise, if you know of any that you would like to see on the list that may not have been before (I do not believe I was on it before, or if I was, I wasn't notified then), let them know! There are separate directories for websites and things like Facebook Pages, but this specific one is for blogs. And do use it to find others to follow!

As for the title of this post, I was prodded by the manner in which my blog is listed in the directory. The Witchy Stuff is listed under the category "Wicca." This may seem obvious to those of you who know me as a Wiccan, but it is less so to me, being the one living my path. Now is a good time to put down some thoughts I've been having for a while now, some of which I've expressed in the past, some which have gone unspoken, and some altogether relatively new. And, well, apparently it's going to be in poem form. Enjoy.

~

My path began with a Wiccan tilt, with Cunningham and Ravenwolf,
with mama's Native influence and my own love of this green Earth.
I read and studied, practiced, erred, and kept it secret for a while
Until I felt more comfortable with calling "Wiccan" my own style.
But I was young and all the Wiccans on the internet weren't fond
of my quite broken lineage and lack of ini-ti-a-tion.
They said I wasn't one of them, that my beliefs were not enough,
that I had to be taught, somehow, and if I didn't do that, tough.
But I, resilient, knowledge-lead, had some informants of my own
who gave me confidence to tread, and so I came into my own.
"I am a Wiccan," I would say, "though eclectic and solit'ry"
and over years a Wiccan Witch is how I have come known to be.
Yet over time, from year to year, my knowledge and experience grow
and less often am I comfortable with names by which I used to go.
I still have Wiccan beliefs, yes, and I intend to keep that part
of my young path, wherever I go, because it spoke to my young heart.
But as of late, the general term of "Pagan" more appeals to me.
Yet when I use it, I am sometimes struck by what the others see.
In arguments sometimes, when I attempt to hold a wider view,
speaking from my Universal tendencies and attitudes,
"You're only speaking from a Wiccan point of view," I now am told,
"That's the Wiccan way of things." Thus the verdict they behold.
And yes, I cede, I do come from a Wiccan sort of origin,
But can I never branch back out from somewhere I was not let in?
The traditional Wiccans never claimed me (so I never claimed to be one of them),
and now the general Pagans shame me, too much Wiccan, then again.
Not enough for the one extreme, but too much one for this, the other.
And where exactly does that leave me? On my own path, same as ever.
An in between is where I walk, a balance on the railroad tracks.
Balance is my major goal, and here I walk, a threshold path.
It's neither in nor is without, nor is it perfect dark or light,
it isn't kin or kind to yours, and it contains both "wrong" and "right."
Is it "Wiccan"? Who could know? Some say yes, and others, no.
The thing I'm sure of is that there is always forward left to go.
From one exit, another entrance. Another threshold left to meet.
And lifetimes hence from what's "complete." And miles to go before I sleep.

Blessings~
-C-

My Goddess (A Poem, or Prayer)

Hey, Readers,

Most of my rituals and spells are made up in the moment, or improvised from a vocabulary of intent that I have built up over the years. As such, I often create new things on the spot, when needed, and then write them down to use again later. Here is a poem I wrote while making a long drive on dangerously snow-covered roads last week:


"My Goddess rules these valleys
My Goddess rules these hills
My Goddess rules this majesty
Both turbulent and still

My Goddess rules these oceans
My Goddess rules these lakes
My Goddess rules my victories
and She rules my mistakes

My Goddess is all-knowing
My Goddess can see all
My Goddess sees me rising
and She will see me fall

She's seen me through the valleys
She's seen me o'er the hills
She's helped me all throughout  my path
and She will guide me still"


This was in reference to a specific goddess of travel named Elen, to whom I pray often while driving, even in regular weather conditions. But this could also apply to other goddesses, and this very much speaks to me of Mother Earth/Gaia as well. I do not usually share things like this, things that I've written for my own path, but I thought perhaps it might be nice to occasionally share with you the kind of things I write and use in my own practice.

Blessings~
-C-

"Doesn't It Drive You Crazy?!"

Hey, Readers,

At work, I have two bosses. One is Catholic. The other is Agnostic, Pagan-ish but not practicing. They are great friends, and of course, business partners. They are wonderful! I love them both. I do not name their religions for any sort of commentary on their religious identities, merely to identify them apart from one another and give you a basic idea of where they're coming from in that regard.

My co-worker told me shortly after we met and started working together that she is also Pagan, though not practicing and very new to identifying as Pagan at all. She told me this because, she said, she could tell that I was Pagan. I don't know how she could tell this--the only discussions we'd had that were at all relevant were about tasseomancy and tarot, but whatever the reason, she knew and shared this with me.

Eventually, my co-worker told our Catholic boss that we were both Pagan.
The negative reaction from our boss startled my co-worker, who is not out of the broom closet at all and has never experienced the prejudice or discrimination that sometimes comes with being open about a minority identity such as religion.

Right before Halloween, I overheard my bosses discussing religion and why Pagans celebrate Halloween and Christmas, and why they call it Christmas if Christmas is about Christ. This is when I heard my Agnostic boss say that she is not a practicing Pagan and usually just considers herself Agnostic. I took the opportunity to offer some of my views on why Pagans celebrate Christmas (with our Christian families, usually), and to explain the Winter Solstice/Yule and its difference from and similarity to Christmas, and so on. So we've had some discussions at work about religion. Though our Catholic boss was clearly under-informed or misinformed about some things, I was really happy that she was willing to listen and ask questions. So many people will not even do that. I am grateful for those opportunities.

Today, my co-worker said something about her old teacher, who happens to go to my church, as we learned recently. Our Catholic boss looked very confused. I didn't notice this, but my co-worker asked her what was wrong, and our boss asked, "Pagans go to church now?" I laughed and said "Oh, yeah, I go to a Unitarian Universalist church. It's for everyone. You can believe anything. There are several Pagans at my church, and people of many other faiths."

The following conversation ensued:

Magick Class' First Ritual

Hey, Readers,

You may have heard me mention before that I am a co-facilitator for a small group/class hosted by my UU church, which we call Magick Class. The class meets once a month (one month I think we met twice, because it fit everyone's schedules better), and is centered around magickal practice of all kinds and cultures. The class is open to the public, but most people who attend are members of our church or personal friends/family of the church-goers so far. Each month we cover a different topic of interest to the group. As you can imagine, everyone was interested in spellcraft and ritual! But we couldn't just dive in and do a ritual, so we spent a few months teaching the class about some basics that go into ritual and spellcraft: cleansing, the elements, symbolism, and Deity concepts and other guides.

Once we got through the what, where, why, how, and back to who, we thought it was time to do our first ritual as a mixed group! We had all already decided that we wanted to do a ritual for our church, and without giving away too many of the exact details or the exact spell that we did, I want to talk about the general experience of creating a ritual this way, in a group of mixed religious background and belief, and then actually performing that ritual.

Our circle, before the ritual.

We had a meeting last month, September, to plan the ritual. Only six people came to that meeting, including one woman's young daughter (6 years old, or so). We planned the ritual around some bare bones, basic structure, in a process I had read about in The Twelve Wild Swans (which I was finishing at the time). In the book they talk about how planning their rituals starts with the "meat," or "tofu" of the ritual, or the main "body" if you will, and then adds the appropriate opening and closing details around that base. Since we knew our main goal for the church, we started with phrasing that in a concise way that would help everyone remain focused on the goal. Then we had to decide, well, what do we want to DO?!

There was some time where those of us who do magick/ritual more often explained some options for how ritual can go--devotion, celebration, magick, and so on. We shared how some rituals are just honoring something or celebrating, while others include a spell of some kind. The group wanted one with a spell, so we wrote that down on the board. Then we asked what that spell would be, and someone suggested baking bread with magickal ingredients for our purpose, and bread also had to do with our goal. We liked this, and agreed that one person would bake the bread with intent and bring it to the ritual, instead of the baking being the ritual itself. Then I offered an idea of a spell I had done with another group for the same intent, where we blessed items with our intent and kept them or scattered them around. Everyone liked this idea, and someone had the perfect items to bring for us, so we wrote down that we would bless these items using a chant/spell and scatter them around the church building and grounds.

Now that we had the "body" of the ritual, it was time to fill in the details from beginning to end. We decided to cleanse the whole church from the outside in. We talked about how that would be done, with sage and sound. Someone said "I think it would be fun to all bring a special scarf and dance around with them as we move around the church," so we wrote that down. The young girl said "I think we should howl like wolves!" and after someone asked, "What do wolves have to do with it?" someone opened up my Animal Spirit book (which I had with me because we had used it in our previous class and I was hoping to fill people in on what they had missed last month) and read from it that wolves symbolize community, among other things. The qualities of the wolf matched our intent, so we said "Great!" and wrote it down on the board. This is how it progressed. I provided the basic structure, which I told them is not the only way of doing ritual but is the general way that I work personally, and the group offered ideas and then said yes or no to each one. We wrote down how the outside cleansing would transition to the inside cleansing, then into the entrance to the circle. We decided where in the church the circle would be! We decided that each element would be called by a different person or group of people (we were hoping for a larger group than six!), and that I would call The Universe instead of any Deity because that was the most common belief for all the people in the group. We decided the bread would be magickal but also for our Simple Feast/Cakes and Ale, and that someone would bring drink. Then for ease of closing, they asked me to do the thanking/releasing of any energies we called and opening of the circle and extinguishing of the chalice (as we would be bringing in the UU tradition of our Flaming Chalice). We also decided that some of us would get there early to set up the items in the circle so that everything was ready to go.

On the night of the ritual, which was this past Tuesday, my car had broken down so one of the other co-facilitators picked me up at work and we got to the church early to set up. We looked in the church supplies to see what we could use, and found many candles in jars that we decided would form the physical boundary of the circle. We placed printed copies of the ritual order around the outside of the circle, so if anyone forgot what came next, we could look and see. As my friend and co-facilitator placed the elemental items she brought at the four quarters, and her daughter and myself arranged the candles in a circular fashion, everyone started saying how it already felt like part of the ritual, even though all we were doing was setting up. People gradually streamed in, carrying their own elemental representations to add to the circle and the items they said they would bring: scarves, bells, drinks and cookies, and more. We looked in the kitchen to find bowls and cups. I had brought my chalice--a new one I purchased at the renaissance festival--to use as a communal cup, but we wanted others in case not everyone was okay with drinking from the same cup. One of the women had extra scarves, so we used one to decorate the center "altar" area of the circle where we would do the working. We got the Flaming Chalice from the church sanctuary to begin and end our rite. All the pieces came together and people were chatting and having fun setting up. When everyone arrived, we handled the practical things like putting on sweaters since we were starting outside, and going to the bathroom so we wouldn't have to go in the middle of ritual! The total count was eight adults, three teenagers, and three children under 12. Yep, we fit 14 people in that little circle! We were expecting more, but a few people couldn't make it.

My ritual attire was my work clothing, plus my Spider pendant and scarf/shawl.

The ritual itself went very well and was a lot of fun. Since everyone had done the cleansing class the first month, or had been smudged at some other time in their lives, it was easy to start with my friend Moon smudging everyone in turn. Her teenage son played a drum next to her to set the beat, and the rest of us drummed, clapped, or rang bells along with him as everyone was cleansed. When everyone was cleansed, we set off in a sunwise circle around the whole church building, playing drums, clapping and ringing bells, and howling like wolves! We have very understanding neighbors, haha. When we got back to the front door, we had to wait for the whole group to catch up and someone started a chant of "Om/Aum" which everyone naturally picked up. When we all got there, we went inside and cleansed the church from end to end, turning on lights, drumming and clapping and chanting and ringing bells and smudging. Then the lights were turned off as the candles were lit (My friend's son and I were lighting candles, and as he reached to light his stick from a flame I just lit, his stick TOOK my entire flame right out of my candle!), and we prepared to enter the circle. It took a few reminders for us to get the littler kids to not step back outside the circle, but we moved in using multiple circles to cast, called the elements using everyone's original, prepared invocation, and I invited the Universe and lit our Chalice. Then it was time for the spell working and chant, which honestly, the few of us who were there early had written right before! We used a well known chant, We Are a Circle, and wrote a verse to it which stated our intent for the spellworking. We chanted this over the items numerous times, and I had the kids kneel with me on the floor to get closer to the bowl of cleansing water with the items, to pull the energy the adults were raising above us, down down down into the bowl! It engaged them more than when they were just standing, since they weren't able to pick up on the words of the chant. We did this until the energy died down. Then we broke bread and shared apple cider from my chalice or from the individual cups, which I explained was also my new chalice's initiation as it had not before been used! This was our grounding. After that, I did my usual thanking/releasing/opening, which is to say that I improvised based on a basic structure I use, and made it applicable to the group and our individual intent. I referenced back to the chant that we did to solidify it in everyone's minds. Afterward, the circle open, we had more drinks and snacks as we scattered the items around the church in hidden areas. Moon and I took the remaining breads and cider set aside during the ritual, and the ash from the smudge stick, outside as the offering.

During the ritual, we acknowledged issues and gave instruction as it came up. This is a learning group, so we didn't see a problem with things like "Hey, we never decided how we would actually cleanse the items. Should one person do this? Who should do that?" We laughed at our oversight and I suggested a plan of action. "How about I pour the water into the bowl, you add the salts, and then everyone takes some of the items and puts them into the bowl?" As we started that, someone else said, "May I suggest that everyone hold the item in their hand for a minute first, to charge it with our intent, and then put it into the bowl?" And so we did. Then the person who was going to lead the chant started, and I said "Wait, let's make sure ALL the items are in the bowl so they are all charged. Who would like to charge the last items and add them?" Some people reached for them and did that. We passed around a sheet of paper for everyone to read the words of the chant as we tried to pick them up. Things like that! This was by no means perfect, but it went smoothly because we all knew it was a learning environment. When I started to thank the elements, people raised their hands to ask questions first! As I did it, the kids raised their hands to ask more! It was a great experience, and I think everyone enjoyed it because we did it together. It had a plan behind it, so that no one would feel like we were floundering in the dark, but people did improvise and add things as they saw fit, and it worked very well.

Our circle, after the ritual.

So what is the point of this post? I guess, for one, I want to share it because it was a fun learning experience for me as well as for my group. And two, it lets you know a bit more about what I do in my personal life as far as teaching/learning/group work. This is my learning group, whereas I do get together from time to time with an informal circle of witches, which is still eclectic and variable, but everyone in that group has their own personal practice already and identifies as pagan/witch and already knows the basic things we are just getting to learn about in Magick Class. And three, I want it to be a sort of encouragement for those of my viewers/readers who may be concerned about what ritual is, or what it can be. Was this a traditional ritual? Not in ANY sense! But was it a ritual? Of course. And the cool thing is that some of the people who participated in this ritual are pretty much brand new to magick, and they were still able to participate in a way that they felt comfortable with. We built the ritual to fulfill that, from the invocation of the Universe instead of particular deities (which I do a lot anyway, which is why I offered it as an option) to the inclusion of separate drinking glasses. We come from different religious and spiritual backgrounds, but we were able to work together toward a common goal for our church. And we had a great time doing it.

Blessings~
-C-

A Day at the Art Museum

Hey, Readers,

For my birthday on 16 August, my boyfriend took me to the Cleveland Museum of Art. We spent several hours there, beginning with a lunch at their cafe and continuing through all the available exhibits, from ancient Greece, Rome, and Egypt all the way up to the modern artists. I used my video camera to take photos of some of the pieces that I was allowed to photograph--most of the modern art is not allowed to be photographed due to copyright--and while I will be putting together a video showing the photos and talking a bit about my journey through the museum, I wanted to share some pictures here. I will not show every single picture in this post, but I will show them all in the video, so when I get that posted I'll be sure to link it here so you don't miss it!

Our wine and glasses

As I said, first we had lunch at the cafe. I had a green bean salad--one of the only vegan options for fresh foods--and opted for a simple peanut butter and jelly sandwich (despite the bread containing gluten and other non-vegan products, since I am trying to eat vegan as much as possible, but when not possible, I am at least vegetarian). I also had a White Peach Tea (Honest Tea company) and a lemon bar for dessert. But my boyfriend, wine-drinkers as we are, also got us a small bottle of Pinot Gris. They even gave us wine glasses! Not bad for a museum lunch.

The main area of the museum, the "lobby" if you will, is an atrium and contained a few pieces itself. The pieces there rotate. At the time, there were twelve large metal sculptures of the heads of animals representing the Chinese Zodiac, but I didn't take photos of them. Then we went into the museum area itself, where we could see all the things the CMA usually houses, as well as anything that was on special exhibit. They were preparing for several new exhibits which we could not see because they weren't ready yet, including an exhibit on Tantra in Buddhist Art. I thought the Tantra exhibit was current, but I don't think we saw it, so I'm not sure.

Moving into the museum, the first thing I went to see was the Ancient section, encompassing Greece, Rome, Italy, and so on. Now we get into the photos! I took note of anything specifically related to my own religious experiences or interests, and anything that I thought would interest my friends or family, so I can share with them, as well. First, some ancient goddess-related figures:

"The Stargazer," approx. 3000 BC

"Bear-Woman"

 "The Stargazer" is the oldest such figure owned by the CMA. It is a female figure carved in marble, and she is shown here facing me, with her head tilted up to gaze at the stars.

"Bear-Woman," to the right, is an earthenware figure. She shows the usual feminine characteristics exaggerated in art. At my last Magick Class meeting before this birthday trip, we had been discussing symbolism, including the Goddess art of history, such as the Venus of Willendorf. Thus, I took a great interest in these similar depictions of women.

Positive Reactions

Hey, Readers,

As members of a minority religion/spiritual path which is still largely misunderstood in the United States (I don't know about other countries first hand), we often swap stories of prejudice and discrimination. Often, these stories are funny and provide an opportunity for us to laugh at our own stereotypes and feel a sense of bonding--we are not the only ones to experience these negative situations and we can grow from them together. Stories of negative experience are important, both for this camaraderie, and for educating the rest of the public as to the prejudice that, yes, actually happens.

If you're anything like me, you've also heard people talk about how much we "complain" or "cry discrimination," or say that we like to feel persecuted because it makes us feel special in some way. (If you haven't heard those things, good for you and the people around you!) But far from always crying about how prejudiced against we are, and how horrible it is to be a minority, we also have a lot of great, positive stories of acceptance. I'd like to share some recent stories of mine that fall under that positive category.

During my recent job as stage manager for a teen musical workshop, I got a lot of compliments on my various pentacle necklaces! Kind words came from both my cast, ages ranging from 12 to 17, and from my co-workers on the crew, ages ranging 14 to maybe in their 40s. You already heard in a previous blog entry about the director and tech director asking me about my sabbat and esbat (the summer solstice this year fell close to a full moon), but here are some other short exchanges that I haven't already told you:

1. While standing behind the box office counter at the theatre, one of my female cast members leaned over the counter to look at my jewelry. I was engaged in another task and did not notice until she asked, "Hey, what's your necklace?" Having heard a lot of Christian-centric banter the previous summer at the same theatre, I wasn't sure whether the teen crowd was as religious as the younger kids I'd worked with before, so after a moment's hesitation when I wasn't sure how I would phrase my answer, I simply told her the truth. "It's a Goddess pentacle," I said. "Oh!" she smiled and said, "That's really pretty."
2. Another evening, the youngest girl on the cast (12) got a look at another of my pentacles, and simply said "I really like your necklace!" Probably not all kids raised in a Christian town would recognize what a pentacle is, but this girl is very sharp. I've worked with her twice now. If she doesn't already know the meaning of the symbol, I'm sure she'll find out.
3. One of the first nights I started working in the booth with my board ops, I was wearing my moon phase pentacle and one of my ops asked, "Are those the moon phases on your necklace?" After I said yes, he said "That's really cool." The other board op, overhearing this, took a closer look and agreed, "Yeah, that is really cool." My board ops are 14 and 16, and both atheist/agnostic.
4. One of the show nights, I again wore my Goddess pentacle, and getting a look at it, the second board op from the previous story laughed and said "Wow, that's gutsy." "What?" I asked, and he said "Wearing that necklace here." I asked him why, and he said "Because this is SUCH a Christian town!" One of the boys on cast was also in the booth at the time and said "Yeah, don't let [the director] see you wearing that," to which I said "[She] has known me for years, and always seen me wearing pentacles. Not only has she never said a negative word about it, but you guys all know she wears crystals and talks about the sun and moon phases ALL THE TIME. I think a lot of the people here have pagan leanings, if they're not actually pagan." Another member of the cast, the son of the tech director, confirmed my suspicions with a knowing nod and "I'm pretty sure my dad is Wiccan." After that, there was just a silent acknowledgement of the awesome possibility that in the middle of that little Christian town, there could be a whole room full of people of differing beliefs who were all respectful of each other.

I can think of two other stories from the theatre, but those involve people sticking up for my views when a member of the cast bombarded us with Christian subject matter. So while they are stories of acceptance and people not being at all afraid to stand up and say that they supported me, they could also be looked at as stories of prejudice, with the Christian person first giving me grief. So we'll stay away from those for now! But the theatre is not the only place I've gotten compliments or positive feedback on my views:

• At the medieval faire, I'm always complimenting people on their pagan jewelry or tattoos. But the best compliments I've received so far at the faire were probably those from two patrons of the faire who were not in costume, looked like it was their first time there, and had approached just to ask me for directions, not to talk about the Runes (which is what we sell at the stand I work). After talking to me for a moment and finding me helpful, they decided to chat a bit about the weather or something equally mundane, and then the young girl asked, "Is that a pentacle you're wearing?" I said yes and she said "That's very pretty." Then the older woman, presumably the girl's mother, looked closely at it, smiled, and said "Oh that is pretty!" Then they said it was great to meet me and went about their way.
• Three or four of the people at the faire have revealed to me this year that they watch my YouTube channel. Most, if not all of them, started watching due to the medieval faire videos I post, but all said they continued to watch more, and love them. This, of course, means they know a LOT more about me than I know about them! Actually, it's even weird to write this, since they may very well read it someday. Hey, you!
• At craft shows where my mother and I sell pagan-themed things, we've had several people come up and either express like-minded views, or ask us to tell them more about paganism or magick. We have not yet been approached by someone for that type of conversation who has not been open-minded and positive about it all.
• At the UU church I attend, we have started hosting a Magick Class. Four months into it, I keep meeting more and more people interested in magick and paths that incorporate it. These people are not all pagans themselves, but include UUs (of course), Jews, and self-titled "Recovering Catholics." Others have never really given their beliefs a label. Most of us came from Christian/Catholic backgrounds, and a few were raised in pagan-ish beliefs.

An old logo picture I made for my channel, which
shows the three pentacles mentioned in this post.

And finally, a story I briefly related as part of my "Shit People Say to: Pagans, Neopagans, Wiccans, Witches, etc." video: My sophomore year of undergrad, I was a teaching assistant for a freshman colloquium (as I was for the rest of my time there). One of my students was also my dorm floor neighbor, and one day, in my dorm room, he caught a glimpse of my "heavy duty" pewter pentacle necklace, with the Theban alphabet around the circle. A Christian boy from Texas originally (but living in Ohio for years), he took a deep breath and said something to the effect of, "Okay. Cara. That necklace you're wearing. I've been taught that it's bad, but you're wearing it, and you're awesome, so. Could you please tell me what that symbol means to you?" Amazed at this perfect learning opportunity, I quickly obliged, and afterward he thanked me and said that that made so much more sense than what he was taught, because in knowing me as a person, he knew I could never be part of the negative images that he had been taught to associate with the symbol. Today, he is engaged to a mutual friend of ours who used to be a practicing Wiccan/Pagan. As far as I know, she still holds a lot of the same beliefs, but no longer actively practices.

It's sort of amazing what can happen when people simply talk to one another, without judgement. But at the same time, it's not amazing, because it really does happen more than we mention. I mean, it shouldn't be amazing in the sense that we gasp and act surprised when it happens--it should be the default! (Yes, the word "should" is problematic, but you see my point.) People always tend to talk about and report the bad experiences, but we owe credit to the positive experiences, too. It is important to bring the bad stuff to light in order to educate people and learn from it, but I also think it's great to talk about the wonderful people we meet who act as people should always act toward each other--with understanding and mutual respect.

Blessings~

-C-

Working Witch

Hey, Readers,

As always, there are several topics I want to address here, but I've been so busy lately that I haven't had much time at all to sit down and write, make videos, or do much of anything that I usually do! So this is just a quick update to let you all know what's been going on that's keeping me from my online life.

Firstly, everyone probably knows by now (especially if you watch my YouTube channel) that I've been assistant-directing/stage managing a teen musical. Tech week for that show begins this Sunday, after which I will be there EVERY DAY for rehearsals and the shows next weekend.

Secondly, last week I acquired a job working at the Medieval Faire, selling runes! My employer is a musician, well-known to the faires around here, and he's recently re-opened his Runeworks business. My mother is friends with him on Facebook so she heard he wanted to hire a salesperson and got us in contact. He hired me last week and this past Saturday and Sunday were my first weekend ever as a vendor at the faire, rather than a patron. It was different in a lot of ways, but very fun, and I look forward to the next five weekends. Although it does mean that I can't attend Circle meetings or field trips we had planned, the faire is a great reason to miss a few things.

Between those two jobs and the fact that my boyfriend is home for summer break, I have been very busy. But add onto that one final thing, and you've got a crazy busy theatre-filled summer for me. Yesterday I learned that the group from my college (whence I recently graduated, in 2012) wants me back to work the summer theatre camp. I can't do all of it because of the show I'm already working on, but they want me to work the mornings. So my upcoming week looks like this:

• Early morning drive to campus (the first day)
• Be on campus working on theatre camp until early afternoon
• Drive to musical
• Rehearse/perform musical
• Drive back to campus
• Sleep on campus
• Wake up early morning and start camp again
• Repeat list from second entry

Busy, busy! And in these busy times, it's more than important to find some quiet time. I've enjoyed coming home to my boyfriend each evening after a long day of theatre, to have some dinner and maybe watch a movie, and then go to bed. There is no real back yard here, but there is some grass I can walk around in while on the phone. And I don't have all my personal items here yet, so I don't have an altar space or anything like that, but I still sing and chant in my car while driving to and from work, keep herbs hanging from my car visors, brake for animals sent by the Goddess, and of course, I constantly represent my faith in real life and online. I've been keeping up with messages on YouTube, and with emails, as well as having conversations with people in person about what I believe. A friend of mine recently learned through several conversations that I'm Pagan, and asked me to explain a bit about my beliefs. Many of my cast members have commented on my pentacle necklaces. The Medieval Faire is a great place to meet other pagans and generally like-minded folks, and the people I'm working with on the musical also have similar views (see previous post).

So no, I haven't been doing any ritual or spellcraft recently, owing largely to my hectic schedule, but that never means that I am not being an active member of my faith. I know that a lot of people often struggle with these times, thinking that they're slacking or not doing enough, so I hope this will be a reassuring thing for them. I am not only a witch when in circle, and odds are, neither are you.

Blessings~
-C-

Post-Solstice

Hey, Readers,

Once again, there are several things I want to talk about, and they keep piling up before I decide what to talk about and when. So I'll start with the first one I can think of and move on from there. Sometimes, it is best to begin at the beginning.

An obligatory post-solstice note. On the eve of the solstice, I spent hours of the day divining with my oracle cards. I wore a "witchy" outfit to rehearsal and got back to the house around 10pm. Grams asked me to fetch the mail, so I used that as an excuse to spend a few extra minutes outside in the dark--after which I composed this Tweet:

Click to view on Twitter

On Solstice Day/Litha/Midsummer, I spent most of the day on the warm, sunny porch, again working with my cards and generally soaking up the sun (not physically--wear sunblock!). On Sunday I had a Circle meeting where we were scheduled to watch a documentary about mythology and perform a Solstice celebration ritual. (I Tweeted a photo of my gold toned attire.) We ended up spending the first hour and a half of our meeting playing with the adorable foster kittens my friend is caring for, and then finally getting to the documentary a while later after some snacks. It was a History channel Clash of the Gods episode about Medusa, which certainly makes you view the gods in a different way. But after that, no one else seemed interested in doing a solstice ritual. Nothing formal was planned but I don't mind spontaneity, so I was hoping to get to do something. However, everyone else was content to just eat and chat for the next couple hours. So I'm very glad that before going to Circle, I went to a local park/nature reserve by myself, found a secluded spot in the woods off the main trail, and did a short devotion there. Otherwise, I wouldn't have gotten to do anything for the sabbat at all.

Oh, and afterwards it was still light out at 6:30pm, so I went to the lake by my old house where I had celebrated Litha last year at dawn, and where Willow resides. The beach has been grown over a lot by grass, and algae creeped along the water line so that I had to search for a section of water I could wade into. I shared freshly picked strawberries and blueberries with the fish, and left some for Willow, as well. It all made me think of the song we had listened to in church that morning--"Canned Goods" by folk singer, Greg Brown. This is the video of it that we watched during service.

~

Fast forward to Monday evening at rehearsal, and the director and I were walking toward the back door to get something from her car when we passed by the tech director. The director asked of him, "How was your Solstice soirée?" He proceeded to describe how he and his kids (two of my cast members) went to a show reunion party and then to the Observatory Park for the solstice event. Then he asked me how my solstice was. Mind you, I have not told anyone there that I'm pagan, though I do wear pagan jewelry every day, so if they know what it is, it's visible. No one's ever said anything, though. So I told him, I was supposed to go to a group celebration but we just watched a documentary instead and no one wanted to do a celebration, to which he responded, "Oh, TELL ME they didn't blow off an esbat for a documentary!" Not just everyone in the world knows the word "esbat." All in all, this summer working with the show has been a lot better than last year when the young kids always managed to work the topic of dying into the conversation, which was followed up by going to Hell, the devil, Satan, and so on. This year, I've received multiple compliments on my pentacles (I wore a few different ones over the past three weeks), heard about a cast member's love of Greek mythology and who her divine parents would be if she were a demi-god, and had a short conversation about everyone's solstice/esbat plans. The director has always randomly talked about solstices and full moons, all the years I've known her, and she wears a lot of crystal jewelry. But I never let myself assume that meant she was pagan/a witch/anything similar, whatever the term. And I was never aware if she knew that I was. But it certainly is an interesting feeling to have someone whose religious affiliation you don't know, ask you casually about your sabbat. Through years of being met with strange reactions, I got used to editing my statements so as not to startle people. I even said "celebration" instead of "ritual" when I described what I did, just to feel it out and see what was really going on. Might I live in a world where finally, a question like "How did ritual go?" is as commonplace as "What did you learn in school today?"

Click to view on Twitter

Blessings, and I hope you had a Happy Solstice~
-C-

Updates and Upcomings

Hey, Readers,

This post is going to be full of links!

I want to take this opportunity to tell you what's been going on and what's coming up, as I recently posted an "Update" video on my YouTube channel, so this is another place to update. I'll talk a bit about what's been going on online, what's upcoming, and then also what's been going on/upcoming in my personal life.

Online:
What's passed:

• I spent a week at my younger brother's house, during which time we made a few videos together. We visited a waterfall, searched for my cat, and then hiked around a bit a few days later. (I also went to another park on my own.) There is at least one more topic we want to do a video about, which we may visit at a later date. It is metaphysical-related, so I'll keep it a secret until we do the video, but it should be enjoyable!
• I posted an update video, as I said.
• This past week on Pagan Perspective was on elements and how we work with them. The week before that was on Books of Shadows and other sorts of books we keep.

What's to come:

• I'm currently uploading the next video that I said in my update video was coming up--an update of my 2009 "Five Must Haves" video. This video talks a bit about physical items I feel I "must have" for my practice (meaning the things I LIKE to have), but also gets into non-physical traits and qualities that I feel allow me to practice the way I do, such as honesty, humility, and so on.
• After that video, the next two uploads will be about coming out of the broom closet. The first video is about how I told my family (mother, Rev. Rose) about my path and how I worked it out with her, which I've talked about before, but I mostly talked about it on Pagan Perspective. The last time I made a video about it on cutewitch772 was in 2009, guest starring my mother, so this one is an update just from me alone. The second video is "For Parents" (or guardians or other loved ones), addressing the people on the OTHER side of this issue.
• To go along with my "For Parents" video, I am asking my mother, Rev. Rose, to make a video about the subject from her point of view, as a Universalist type Christian, as a ULC minister, as a non-pagan mother of a pagan child. She will watch my video before doing hers, because she likes to respond to what I've already said as a sort of structure or outline for her response, so her video will be up significantly after mine, but we'll have it to look forward to.
• Yesterday and today I recorded a new t-shirt recon video (which is more relevant to my other blog).
• And today I recorded a book review of a Catholic book, which will be posted... erm, probably in a couple weeks, judging by the list of videos I have to post first!

That's quite a lot of links, isn't it? Explore!

Personal Life:

What's passed:

• 3 June began the summer theatre workshop for which I am the Assistant Director/Stage Manager, or in Theatre-speak, the AD/SM (which is just said as letters, A-D-S-M). I'm working on a teen version of Shrek, the Musical. It's much more politically incorrect than you'd expect if you've seen the movies. I quite enjoy it!
• I applied for another part-time job at a retail/garden shop/farmers market type place. Not sure I'll hear back from them because Sundays are really my only busy day and they appear to only need workers all day on Sundays.
• I've done a lot of cleaning and organizing and moving my belongings, sorting them into what I want to keep and what I can either try to sell or donate or give to people I know. This is in anticipation of moving to another kind person's house where I can stay until I move still elsewhere.
• I started reading The Lovely Bones. I haven't seen the movie, but I own the book.
• My boyfriend was in town briefly, between the end of his grad school year and his summer visit to his family across the country. So I'm glad we got to have a brief day and a half together. He'll be back next month.
• I am now the co-chair of the environmental committee at my UU church.

What's to come:

• Several more weeks of the theatre workshop.
• More job applications. (Seriously what happened to jobs that end at 5pm so I can still do theatre in the evenings? Or jobs that let you have Sundays free for religious activities or personal time? Or jobs in theatre or religion that pay well?! =P)
• More reading. More studying. More watching. More more more.
• This month I will be able to attend my Magick Class meeting because the director of the workshop gave me the night off. But she's taking the cast to see Shrek, the Musical at another theatre that evening, so I will miss that instead.
• Next week I have a Circle meeting and I believe we'll be focusing on mythology.
• Next month is the anniversary of my circle (when they started it, of course I wasn't there then), so we'll be having a party, and also taking a trip to Lily Dale, NY in August.
• My birthday is in August. I'll be 23.

That's about as far ahead as I have any plans, so that's all! I really just wanted to take this time while my video is uploading to update this blog in some way, and this seemed the most appropriate, before I dive into anything new. That's why I made the update video for my YouTube channel, as well.

Every so often, it's good to step out of the routine and just take stock of everything. It's the same reason why I sometimes prefer to get stopped at red lights. It gives me a chance to look around, breathe, and ready myself for the next move.

Blessings~

-C-

Promises to Self (Yoga)

Hey, Readers,

One of the hardest things about being solitary is keeping your own schedule. If you work alone and something comes up, it's easy to put it off until another time or postpone it indefinitely, because at least you're not letting anyone else down, and you can justify it to yourself fairly easily!

In this case, I haven't been to Yoga in weeks. I only went to two classes so far, two weeks in a row, at the end of March and beginning of April. Last time I was there, I paid for the "new student" package of the next three classes--The one I attended that day, and two more. So I have two classes paid for that I haven't attended yet! This just means that whenever I get there again, the next two times I go are already paid. But after the last class I attended, I was extremely busy all the days they offer the particular class I attend. I could go almost any night and take a DIFFERENT class, but I really think the one I've been going to is the best for my level right now. The class is offered Tuesday and Wednesday evenings, and Sunday mornings. Lately I've been doing other things on Tuesday and Wednesday evenings, and of course I'm in church on Sunday mornings. So I've just gone weeks without going back to class.

The good thing is that I have managed to practice Yoga at home during that down time. At least I can say that much! I didn't do it every single week, but some weeks I would do it multiple days as I felt like it, and others just for a few minutes since I had some time.

Tonight, I decided I would try to get to class again. The class has always begun at 6:30pm, so 5:15 came around and I thought I would have time to eat dinner, have some down time, and then head to class. But I checked the schedule on the website just to see if I could make a class later this week, in case I didn't make it today, and discovered not only that I still can't make the other classes this week, but the Beyond Basics class I usually attend has also been changed to 5:30pm. So I lost an hour, and I haven't eaten anything all day so I definitely don't want to go on an empty stomach. And there's no way I could eat enough in fifteen minutes and get there in time, besides the fact that you're not supposed to eat right before a Yoga class. So due to health reasons, I decided staying home to eat would be better than rushing to class, especially since the teacher is so intense, she'd have me working HARD. Not good on an empty stomach and low sleep.

Here comes the promise part. In order to feel like I'm not just making excuses over and over, week after week, I have to keep a promise to myself to practice on my own. If I've elected to stay home and eat, giving me the rest of the evening to myself (since my Pagan Perspective video is uploading), then I should ideally practice a little on my own this evening. I have ALL NIGHT to use, so I can break it up into just a few poses at a time with long breaks in between, or I can set aside an hour to play some meditative music and just work on as many poses as I can during that time. However I choose to do it, I should do it.

In the Women's Circle I attended last Sunday, for the girls in Coming of Age at church, we talked about the word "should" and how "You should not should on yourself." The word is problematic at best, especially when other people ask me what they should do. Well I don't know what anyone should do, and I don't presume to tell them what to do! But in this case, I don't think this is coming from outside myself. I don't think I feel that I should work a little on my Yoga tonight due to anyone else judging me. Why should I do it? Because I feel that it helps me, and I recognize that I haven't had the time, so I need to make the time.

If I want something to happen, I have to work for it. Whether it be Yoga, work, magick, relationships, or any other part of life. Why should I do this? Why should I do anything? Because I want to. Because I feel that it helps me. Because I am responsible for my own enlightenment.

Blessings~
-C-

Back-Pack Back-Up Plan

Hey, Readers,

One of my good friends is a high school teacher, but his back-up plan is to sell everything he owns and use the money to travel the world, carrying only the essentials he can manage, and living at various locations where people provide room and board in exchange for doing a few hours of work each day. Aside from what he points out as the downside--losing the security of having a set income and place to live--I completely agree with this back-up plan. It sounds like a really great thing to do, if you can.

Right now, I'm not sure what's going to happen for me. I can't really stay here, though it was decided as the best option for me, and the other possibilities all have drawbacks of their own. I hope to hear back from the jobs I applied for soon (one sounded very promising, they just still have not gotten back to me, just like every other job so far... I wish people would at least get back to you to say "No"), and I'm sure I'll get a summer theatre position but those workshops simply don't start immediately so I have to wait until the shows begin. But even with a job coming soon, this living arrangement is not going to work for the two more years I have until I can get a place with my significant other, who will have completed his Master's degree by then.

I've only been here since December, and it's only just now beginning to warm up a bit. I have only just begun to be able to use my downstairs living space, to be warm enough without having to bundle up in a clump of blankets, so that I can sit and meditate or walk around my altar/coffee table. The convenience of warmth is only just beginning. I have barely begun to be able to enjoy what is supposed to be my own basement bedroom/apartment (minus kitchen and bathroom which I would still have to go upstairs for). Through the winter, I had to sleep upstairs due to the cold, and keep my clothes and other daily essentials there. I wasn't able to spend time outside, or to perform ritual. The time for that has just come. And now I may have to leave it soon.

I wish I didn't have to choose between someone I love and avoiding people I can't stand. I wish there were more separation. But life is like that. With the good comes some bad, and with the bad, some good. By getting rid of everything I can, I lose some items that maybe had meaning to me or somewhere down the line I find myself saying "Oh darn it, I HAD one of those, if only I had kept it!" (Which is my worst fear about getting rid of clothes that I don't wear daily but which OFTEN have been used as costumes!) But I also lose the feeling of being so stuck in a place that I can't leave it if I need to. By leaving, I leave someone I don't want to leave behind with the rest, but I also potentially gain more independence and general happiness. I imagine that even though selling everything you own and traveling the world as you can does mean a bit of insecurity and trouble to get through when you want to settle back down again, there is also so much to find.

But people like me? I can't even begin to entertain that idea until I get myself to a place where I can fit everything into my car if I need to, and go.

Wish me luck and safe passage.
Blessings~
-C-

Reaffirmation & Relativism

Hey, Readers,

Let me take you on a short journey before I begin my own (LONG) analysis. I would ask you to close your eyes, but you have to read! I guess these are the limits of a blog versus a video. =) Still, please, relax and prepare for a quick trip. Read and reflect on this portion before you either 1) click the Read More break link if you're reading this on my main blog page, or 2) scroll down if you're reading this on the page of this post alone. I will leave some room and warn you where this section ends. Thanks!

~

The area around you is as dark as though your eyes were closed, no light shining beyond their lids. A comfortable blackness. You hear murmurs--of water, and of breath--all around. You are in a place full of people, all of whom are waiting, like you. In comfortable blackness. You cannot see, but you know that everyone is looking toward the same end of the space you're in. Soon, there will be something to see. You wait. The ceiling above you begins to glow with a dim light, reflecting from somewhere else. Ah, so there is a ceiling. A room, then. You are at the back of the crowd and cannot see where the light comes from. Suddenly, a burst of light. Someone has lit a large fire at the edge of the crowd. Flames dance along the walls, creating many silhouettes of the people in front of you. The smell and anticipated warmth of flame thrills you. Someone lights something--a torch, or a large candle?--from the main fire, and begins to walk throughout the crowd. A low chant hums in several throats, but you choose to listen. Soon, the flame grows and spreads throughout the crowd. Each person has a white candle. The fire comes to you and you get your own small flame. You warm the candle in your palms, breathing around the flame, focusing on your own personal intent. Somehow, you know your wish is not the same as everyone else's, and yet your goals are more similar than anyone else will admit.

Smoke fills the room, not from the fire, but from incense. First, a thick, heady scent. Rich. Dark. Like the earth, or the comfortable blackness now left behind for the flickering glow. Frankincense, perhaps. You aren't sure. Chanting continues. You wish there were drums. A faster-paced song begins--a celebration with bells! Oh, if only the people would dance! You see scarves, belly-dancers, gold and fringe in your mind's eye. The music calls you to dance! But everyone else remains still, shockingly so... How can they stay so still? Your feet tap to the beat, stopping short of stomping along. There is a large space next to you. It would be so simple to move, to dance, but no one else so much as nods along as they pour out the beautiful sounds of the music. So you stay, though only physically. Soon a fresher aroma meets your nose, a new incense being used to cleanse the space. Eucalyptus, you're almost certain. People have been speaking and singing, but you remain focused on your own flame. At once, the others blow out their candles. "Blow it out?" you ask the woman next to you. "That seems counterproductive." This light is your own, and you love it because it is you. Why should you extinguish it just because everyone else did? And why should you not have danced? Realizing your position, you elect to snuff your flame with the smooth edge of your neighbor's candle. As the folks around you start, you explain. "I don't believe in blowing out candles." They have earned no further explanation from you.

They wouldn't understand.

This tiny flame. A light in the comfortable darkness... Why did we leave the darkness, again? Wasn't it warm? Safe? The light is fine, too. Either one is a fine choice. We lit the tiny flame. We gave it life. We are celebrating LIFE. The flame, it breathes, as we do.

Who am I to take away your breath, little candle... With my own?

~

Take a moment to re-read anything you need to, or just to reflect a bit more, before moving on.

~

Yay, Yoga!

Hey, Readers!

As usual, there seem to be several topics I'd like to blog about now... Maybe I really should start trying this "scheduled posts" thing. I haven't covered all the subjects I told you back in February I wanted to get to (measuring progress, sex magick, magick and mental state, prejudice reduction, and more), and as I go on living, more and more important topics come up. But this time, I'm going to talk about a very recent topic.

Sneak peek! Still from a video I'll be uploading on
cutewitch772 in a couple days!

Yoga! 

Last night, I went to my very first Yoga class. My experience with Yoga the past several years has been learning poses completely on my own (I recently learned that something I used to do in elementary school is actually Eagle Pose!), or being taught certain stretches in theatre or dance classes, but not being taught them AS Yoga, in a Yoga setting. So while I have done Yoga in theatre and dance, I'd never taken a class specifically in Yoga.

The studio is literally a minute from my Grams' house, where I live now. The sign by the road says "Opening April 7" so I didn't worry about it, but I finally checked out their website on Tuesday night and found out the sign is from a previous year, and they've been having classes all this time! So I looked at the descriptions, decided that I'm at an appropriate level for the "Beyond Basics" class (I already have knowledge of basic poses and sun salutations but probably am not ready for full Vinyasa), and went to the class last night. The first class is free, and new students get a discount on the next three classes, so I paid nothing last night and learned a lot.

There were only three of us in the class, plus the teacher, who is probably not much older than me herself. She was very helpful, and the small class size is perfect for one-on-one attention. I told the teacher when I arrived that I've mostly been teaching myself Yoga for years, so I think I'm at what they consider an intermediate level, but I really want to find out where I am since this is my first formal practice. She was so helpful! When doing certain poses, I was able to ask her if I was doing the pose correctly, since I usually either have to feel it myself or check my reflection. So it was great to get instant feedback--"Great form!" "Lift up a little more here," "Good adjustment," "Can you straighten that knee? Good!" There is a LOT to remember within one pose, and if you concentrate on fixing one thing, you may forget something else you had gotten right before.

The biggest difference for me in this class was that in theatre and dance, we're taught to do certain stretches and if you can't do them, you reach toward it and hopefully your body will work up to it through continued practice. So for certain things, I would do a stretch or pose as I best could but hold back certain things because I knew I couldn't stretch that far yet (I'm very out of practice...). However, in Yoga, the emphasis appears to be more on having the right body position right now, whatever way you have to get there, rather than just stretching gradually and building up to it. I had never used any props before, because I'm used to just working my own body and that's all. But in class, the teacher was quick to place blankets, bolsters, blocks, or anything we needed in order to help us reach the right pose.

Seated on floor.

Seated on rolled up towel for support.

In the above pictures, my straddle width is only improved a small amount by sitting up on a prop, but my back alignment is changed a lot. It's hard to see in two pictures, but if you could toggle back and forth between the two photos, as I can in my Pictures file, you would be able to see that sitting up on the towel does help my back remain straighter. I never even knew I had a problem with that, because the back is not the focus of this stretch in theatre or dance, so no one pointed it out.

It was unusual for me to use props to help a pose, instead of just making myself DO it. But I can see why it's more beneficial to have the correct body alignment while practicing and still work up to maybe doing it on your own, as opposed to practicing with the wrong alignment and possibly not getting the same benefit. Even the teacher sat on a bolster for many poses. The students are all at different levels of practice, have individual strengths and weaknesses, injuries and health problems that prevent certain things, and yet they can all share the same, very small classroom. Yoga doesn't require you to be flexible immediately, nor to be strong or perfectly balanced or spiritually developed. Yoga is a practice just like so many of the things we do. Anyone can start, everyone can benefit, and things develop over time. I made a few personal improvements in just one 1.5 hour practice. All it takes is determination, willingness to learn, positive attitude, and a suitable environment to support your own progress. The extra set of eyes from a trained teacher helps, too. I learned poses on my own and will always practice at home, but there are little things a teacher can really help with. Someday I'd like to teach one or all of the practices I personally do, because I want to help other people the way that great teachers have helped me.

Om. Shanti, Shanti, Shanti. (Brings back memories of being in HAIR.)
Namaste.

-C-

Wicked Spring

Hey, Readers,

No, the title of this post is not a commentary on the season, nor am I revisiting my trip to Boston. Instead, it merely brings together some of the many things I have been thinking about recently. As you know, because I've mentioned it before, I often think of things I want to blog about and then don't get around to it, and by the time I end up blogging I either have to post a bunch at once or leave some until later! Now, I know I can schedule posts, but I'm not so big on that just yet. So this time, I'll just keep it brief and discuss two main things: Wicked and the general Oz world of literature and other media, and spring-time.

Thumbnail from vlog where I showed the new books I got.
Pictured: Wicked and Son of a Witch by Gregory Maguire.

Last spring, I was in London and saw a production of the musical, Wicked. Then a few months ago I picked up some new books from the half price store, including Wicked: The Life and Times of the Wicked Witch of the West, and its first sequel, Son of a Witch, by Gregory Maguire. I began reading the first book about a week or so ago, and I read casually, a little by little, until halfway through this week when I decided I wanted to finish it before my boyfriend and I went to see the new film, Oz: The Great and Powerful, which premiered on Friday, 8 March. I finished all but a few sections (I guess they're chapters, within books, but the way the novel is laid out, some sections are separated into numbered "chapters" and some are not, so I kept referring to them just as "sections") by Friday night at midnight, so I just left the last few for Saturday morning since obviously we weren't going to make it on Friday.

I am planning a series of videos for my channel where I will talk in depth about various witch-related media, so I don't want to say very much here. But there are a lot of things I have to say about not only Wicked the novel, but also the musical, and then in relation to the new film since I watched it immediately after finishing an alternate view on the story. Trust me, the following is not even a quarter of all I would like to say on these topics, so there will be plenty more in the distant future.

Firstly, the musical is EXTREMELY different from the novel! I expected variation, of course. A compression, at least, and some creative leeway beyond that. But wow, are they ever two different beings. They share a title and a basic plot, following the life of Elphaba, a green girl who grows up to be referred to as the Wicked Witch of the West. But beyond that, they are hardly the same creature. The musical incorporates more of the timeline from Baum's original book, overlapping bits so that you kind of know what's happening in Dorothy's side of the story as Elphaba's life goes on. I liked that when I saw the musical, so it surprised me that the novel ignores certain appearances the Witch makes in Dorothy's timeline in the original book, and instead has her living a whole separate life, sort of on the sidelines, away from Dorothy. Which does make sense in the context of the novel, and I like it very much for that. I just expected a little more of that awareness of the original, having been fooled into thinking the musical was like the book. Sort of like if you've ever watched the movie (or read the play) Rosencrantz & Guildenstern are Dead, and every once in a while you see Hamlet and the other characters from the original story run through R&G's scenes, haha. Or like watching Lion King 1 1/2, and getting little looks at what Simba's up to in the original at the time you're watching Timon & Pumbaa get into their own trouble. Wicked the novel is not like that, but the musical is.

And then, seeing Oz! Wow, is it ever different. Parts of the film actually had me wondering if they were combining it with Through the Looking Glass (sources do say Baum was influenced by Carroll), or if I had missed some key points of the canon, having not read all 14 original books by Baum myself. I did pretty extensive research on The Wizard of Oz my freshman year at college, and through it I did read a few synopses of the other books, though I was focusing on comparing the original book The Wonderful Wizard of Oz (which I do own and have read) to the then SciFi channel original series, Tin Man. It was a great project, but like I said, even so I was left wondering if I had missed things that they decided to use in the movie. I did some basic research upon returning from the cinema, and I learned that throughout the many books, plays, movies, and spin-offs of Oz, the character's names are almost NEVER the same. So we can't really compare one to the other directly, since Elphaba is certainly not anything like the film's Theodora (who becomes wicked out of good, as opposed to Elphaba who was born green at the start), and neither of them are much like Tin Man's Azkadellia or the original western witchy gal. The film's Evanora is no Nessarose (Wicked Witches of the East in Oz: The Great and Powerful and Wicked, respectively), and the Wizard himself lives different timelines in each! Don't even get me started on Glinda, whose very homeland has been confused from the moment the 1939 MGM film hit the screens. The new film does place her in the South, as she was originally, though many people know her as being from the North. Even in the book/musical Wicked, Glinda is from Gillikin to the north, resulting in my forgetting that she was ever from the South. Which reminds me, also don't get me started on the map discrepancies! Each one has things in different places, whole areas looking different, etc. I am rather partial to Maguire's world of Oz, though, having just read it. But I digress.

Captioning is mine, photo from online.
Azkadellia from SciFi's Tin Man series.

I suppose the overall lesson here, as far as comparisons go, is that different people really do have very different views of the same exact things. But at least in this case, it's nice that they DO have all those varying names. Because as I said, Elphaba is not Theodora is not Azkadellia. Oz is not quite The O.Z. It would not be fair to expect them to be alike. It is a little harder to discuss with things such as Glinda, for example, portrayed many ways under the same name, implying that they are the same throughout. Think about your own lives. How many things do people pass off under the same name, claiming them to be alike when they clearly--or unclearly--aren't? And how many times to we encounter situations where people have used different names when they're really talking about the same exact thing? Oh yes, I find lessons everywhere, connections within connections. I love to look at different takes on the same thing, whether it be children's stories, classic plays, or even religions.

After all that, I suppose the spring-time seems a footnote. But I did see Wicked in London in the spring, and it is almost now spring again. Also, both subjects involve a vibrant, verdant green. =) With all these thoughts of witches and green skin and who's good or evil or what evil even is (great discussions about that in the novel Wicked, by the bye)... Today I managed to feel like a witch my way, what being witch means to me. Not to L. Frank Baum or his many successors who wrote so many sequels. Not to the creators of Tin Man, Zardoz (sci fi thing I just learned about, never seen it), or The Wiz. Not to the writers, actors, or production crew of Oz: The Great and Powerful, and also not to Gregory Maguire. I am a witch without much pomp, unlike Az or Glinda or any in the new film. But I am also not a witch who goes out of her way to blend in, like Elphie, covered head to toe to avoid the painful rain water.

I am a witch who runs excitedly outside into the mud, slipping in green and brown argyle shoes bought on discount but loved for their style and comfort; Who stands out on the mossy hill in her bright pink t-shirt, but doesn't mind getting her hands muddy digging to test the soil for a good garden spot. A witch who selectively inspects old flower pots, and while she did light a candle that morning in church in the spirit of the approaching season, really still feels most like a witch when picking the dead leaves off an old mum, reveling in the tiny greenness that is revealed to still be present. As some Wicked merchandised t-shirts proclaim, "Green is Good." That goes for storybook witches as well as for me, as well as for you, as well as for the planet. Green means growth, promise, potential, newness, and freshness. Green means fertility, prosperity, and life. Whether you have green skin, a green thumb, or just like the color, it's good. It's important. It's time.

Blessings~
-C-

Enlightenment Road

Hey, Readers!

Sometime last year, my mother gave me yet another wonderful gift: a small box of cards, labeled "Words of Wisdom from His Holiness the Dalai Lama." She got the set from a friend and thought I would be interested in it. She knows me very well! I immediately read the biographical information about the Dalai Lama on the first card, learning a lot that I hadn't known before just because I never really researched him specifically. Then I decided to look at one card each day. I kept that up for a while, but of course missed a lot of days, as well. Now, I change to the next card whenever I remember or feel the need to. Sometimes one message is necessary for more than one day.

My "Words of Wisdom" card for the day.

Today, I switched the deck to show the next card in the stack:

"YOUR ENLIGHTENMENT RESTS ON YOUR OWN SHOULDERS."

My enlightenment rests on my shoulders.
Your enlightenment rests on yours.

This is a very important thing to remember. It is not Enlightenment (capital E) that rests on you, only YOUR enlightenment. It is personal and individual. No one else is responsible for our own personal journey to enlightenment, whatever that means for us. And likewise, we are not responsible for anyone else's journey. Each of us will get there in our own way, in our own time.

Luckily, we can still help each other along the way, sharing ideas and insights and experiences, and we will and DO benefit so much from each and every person we encounter. This is wonderful and beneficial to all involved. The past several weeks at the UU church I attend have been centered around Buddhism, the basics of the beliefs/philosophy and how we can incorporate them into our own lives. I really like the unison Chalice Lighting we have all said each week, and I think it applies here:

"May no one who encounters us ever have an insignificant contact. May the mere fact of our meeting contribute to their fulfillment. May we be a protector of the helpless, a guide to those traveling the path, a boat to those wishing to cross over. May we be a lamp for those in darkness, a home for the homeless, and a servant to the world."   -Shantideva, 8th cent. Buddhist spiritual master and mystic

A Unitarian Universalist "Flaming Chalice"
Photo by Nancy Pierce, from UUA.org

For those unfamiliar with Unitarian Universalist practice, the Chalice Lighting is whatever words are said to accompany the physical lighting of the Chalice, a symbol of UU faith. It has a specific look in most cases (the photo at left shows a traditional style), but can be any style of lamp or flame. At my church, the Chalice is a stout pillar candle sitting in a large, shallow ceramic bowl on a stand. The bowl/stand itself is a work of art, clearly handmade though I don't know by whom.

The words said vary from week to week, but always reflect the idea of the congregation being a light, illuminating something for ourselves and each other and the world. So for this Buddhism series, the minister chose that quote and chose to have us all recite it. (The first week, we were also making scarves for the homeless, making our position as "a home for the homeless" that much more relevant. I'll write about that another time.)


The Dalai Lama's words are important to think about. This past Sunday at church, we focused on meditation, and this card's simple message could be a great mantra. Shantideva's words are also poignant and meaningful. While these two ideas may seem contradictory--one saying it's up to you, and the other desiring involvement in other people's journeys--they really do work together. We can and should be helpful in other people's lives, and we should strive to make every meeting and connection a positive one for all parties involved and for the world at large. And that striving to positively influence others is part of developing our own personal journey to enlightenment. My personal enlightenment absolutely includes leaving positive impressions on everyone I come into contact with, as well as learning from those who can leave a positive impression on me in return.

I'm aware that this sounds a lot like the cycle of Selflessness-to-Selfishness that my undergrad history class discussed in relation to Saints and other religious figures. The idea is that although people are being selfless, putting themselves out there as servants of God, it is also because the work makes them feel fulfilled or promises them a good afterlife. Therefore, the more selfless their work, the more selfish they are, and in being selfish they work harder to be selfless for other people. It's impossible to tell exactly where in this cycle they lie, because it goes around continually. So yes, this topic sounds a bit like we're being selfish, but that makes sense. Of course my own enlightenment is about me! Yours is all about you, too! It is self-centered, by nature, in the most literal sense. Our journey is centered on our Self. It has to be. If we do not put our own enlightenment into our own hands, who will? No one else is responsible. Other people can help, and I could name so many people right now who have been and continue to be instrumental in my journey! But it should not offend them, nor should I feel that I am offending them by saying, that when it comes right down to it, we are all responsible for taking action toward our own Truth, our own Enlightenment.

"YOUR ENLIGHTENMENT RESTS ON YOUR OWN SHOULDERS."

It doesn't mean that we can't assist others, or that we should ignore others by focusing resolutely on ourselves. It simply means, to me, that I have to remember one thing: If I desire to be Enlightened, then I have to make that effort. It's not up to the people who help me along my path to make sure I reach Enlightenment. I have to make the effort, put in the energy, make the changes myself. I already know that my personal Enlightenment Road passes by many areas where I help others and they help me. But I also know that I've already had to explain to some people that THEIR personal enlightenment/journey/spiritual experience is not my responsibility. I can lend a hand, give ideas, and share what I personally have experienced, but that cannot and will not replace someone's own experiences. I can write as much as I want on here, or make as many videos as I want sharing what I have learned, but that will never substitute for my readers or viewers having their own epiphanies. (And knowing how great those moments are, I would never dream of taking them away from someone!) Similarly, I can seek advice from my spiritual friends, but it only supplements my own path. I have to do the work of thinking about their advice, ruminating on it, trying things out, and figuring out how it applies to me. And I believe it is the same for you, and for everyone.

Paths cross. People walk together. One long, wide road is made up of many smaller, overlapping paths. Whether moving forward in a crowd, or taking another route utterly alone, you are on your path and no one else's.

Blessings~
-C-