Witchiversary!

⛤ It's my 22nd Witchiversary! ⛤

I don't remember exactly when I started reading about, studying, and then practicing Witchcraft as a kid. I did journal, but not RIGHT at the start, or at least not about Witchcraft. I didn't start writing about my practice until I was setting up full altars and doing my self-dedication ritual, but that's another story.

In the very beginning, especially since I was so young, there is a lot of time spent in studying and reading, so it's hard to say when my practice actually began. I was trying out the things I was reading about, the things that I didn't already do before, anyway. But I was very concerned about making sure that I REALLY knew my shit (at least my first few years basics type of shit lol) before I even started calling myself a Pagan or Witch. Because I wanted to be able to represent it well and not perpetuate misinformation.

So I count how many years I've been practicing starting from the sabbat that I first celebrated with a group of other people -- Vernal Equinox 2003 (which I called Ostara then, as the Wiccan name of it), when I was 12. I know for sure that by then I felt comfortable enough sharing what I knew with other people, because I gave a little mini presentation about the history of the festival to a bunch of family friends... so it makes sense to me as an easy time to count from!

★ When I started out, I feel like the author bio in basically every book I was reading on Witchcraft said so-and-so "has been practicing the Craft for over twenty years." Well, I'm there! ★

Strengthening Spirituality - Blog Prompt

Hey, Readers!

There are, as always, a cluster of related and unrelated things that I want to blog/vlog about at any given time, and that often results in my not knowing WHAT to post, so I end up not posting. It's a bad habit many of us get into. Today, however, while researching for my Tuesday PaganPerspective video on Pagan views of marriage/gender roles, I found the "Mom's a Witch" blog, and the Pagan Blog Prompts. So today I'd like to write using one of the blog prompts from February. Enjoy!

What is something you can do this month to bring you closer to the Goddess? 
How can you strengthen your spirituality?

I know for a fact that when I make the time and put forth more effort towards my spiritual practice, the rewards are great, but for some reason, with my life being as busy as it sometimes is these days, that doesn't make it any easier to actually do it! However, there are a few things that I can do periodically that help, and with spring fast approaching here in the northern hemisphere, some of my favorite things will be timely and simple ways to be closer to the Goddess:

• Gardening! I love caring for my potted plants, and it's about time to start some new ones from seeds.
• Similarly, this is a great time to start walking outside again. With good weather comes good nature walks.
• Many forms of reverence. There is always the option to pray more, sing more, dance more. Do Yoga more. Paint more. Whatever works.
• Celebrate with others when possible. It always feels better to me to share with others, even though I have a solitary practice most of the time. It also helps keep me accountable to observations. =)
• Treat everyday chores as a gift to the Goddess, or at least an opportunity to connect with the elements. I do this often, anyway, but it's always a big help.

Here's looking forward to spring!

Blessings~

-C-

Reading in 2014 (Jan.-July)

Hey, Readers,

This year I decided to try and beat the number of books I read last year, setting myself a goal of about 20-25 books this year. It's now July, a little more than halfway through the year, and I'm nearly to that goal now! Last year I had some busy times when I really didn't read much, but this year I've gotten back into the habit (and started visiting the local library on a weekly basis!) and have been reading almost constantly through the hours I'm not working, driving, or sleeping.

Since we're about halfway through the year, I wanted to go back through the things I've read so far in 2014 and just make a few notes about each one. Because I read a lot, I tend to forget details of the things I read once enough time has passed, so this is both a way to touch base with what I've read and to hopefully stir my memory in the future. Without further adieu, here is what I've read so far in 2014 (mostly in order, so you'll see I try to alternate types of books when it makes sense to--but as I'm separating the books and plays, as well as separating the books I've re-read from the new books read, it's not entirely chronological).

A Threshold Path (Poem)

Hey, Readers!

Long time no see, eh? I've been meaning to update, and of course there are several things I could have written about, I just haven't made the time in my busy schedule lately. Tonight, I got online intending to spend an hour or so answering messages and emails, and then watching a few videos. Well, a few hours later, I was still answering messages, and now I have a list of topics to mention next time I do a video.

One thing I will mention is the impetus for this post, which is that I received an email notification of a comment left here on my blog. The comment was letting me know that I have been added to the Pagan Blog Directory! And there is a brand new blog button on the sidebar of my blog to prove it. =) (Shown to the right, here.)

The directory was evidently lost, so it's being redone, so if you know of any blogs that used to be on it, please submit them to the directory so they may be re-added. Likewise, if you know of any that you would like to see on the list that may not have been before (I do not believe I was on it before, or if I was, I wasn't notified then), let them know! There are separate directories for websites and things like Facebook Pages, but this specific one is for blogs. And do use it to find others to follow!

As for the title of this post, I was prodded by the manner in which my blog is listed in the directory. The Witchy Stuff is listed under the category "Wicca." This may seem obvious to those of you who know me as a Wiccan, but it is less so to me, being the one living my path. Now is a good time to put down some thoughts I've been having for a while now, some of which I've expressed in the past, some which have gone unspoken, and some altogether relatively new. And, well, apparently it's going to be in poem form. Enjoy.

~

My path began with a Wiccan tilt, with Cunningham and Ravenwolf,
with mama's Native influence and my own love of this green Earth.
I read and studied, practiced, erred, and kept it secret for a while
Until I felt more comfortable with calling "Wiccan" my own style.
But I was young and all the Wiccans on the internet weren't fond
of my quite broken lineage and lack of ini-ti-a-tion.
They said I wasn't one of them, that my beliefs were not enough,
that I had to be taught, somehow, and if I didn't do that, tough.
But I, resilient, knowledge-lead, had some informants of my own
who gave me confidence to tread, and so I came into my own.
"I am a Wiccan," I would say, "though eclectic and solit'ry"
and over years a Wiccan Witch is how I have come known to be.
Yet over time, from year to year, my knowledge and experience grow
and less often am I comfortable with names by which I used to go.
I still have Wiccan beliefs, yes, and I intend to keep that part
of my young path, wherever I go, because it spoke to my young heart.
But as of late, the general term of "Pagan" more appeals to me.
Yet when I use it, I am sometimes struck by what the others see.
In arguments sometimes, when I attempt to hold a wider view,
speaking from my Universal tendencies and attitudes,
"You're only speaking from a Wiccan point of view," I now am told,
"That's the Wiccan way of things." Thus the verdict they behold.
And yes, I cede, I do come from a Wiccan sort of origin,
But can I never branch back out from somewhere I was not let in?
The traditional Wiccans never claimed me (so I never claimed to be one of them),
and now the general Pagans shame me, too much Wiccan, then again.
Not enough for the one extreme, but too much one for this, the other.
And where exactly does that leave me? On my own path, same as ever.
An in between is where I walk, a balance on the railroad tracks.
Balance is my major goal, and here I walk, a threshold path.
It's neither in nor is without, nor is it perfect dark or light,
it isn't kin or kind to yours, and it contains both "wrong" and "right."
Is it "Wiccan"? Who could know? Some say yes, and others, no.
The thing I'm sure of is that there is always forward left to go.
From one exit, another entrance. Another threshold left to meet.
And lifetimes hence from what's "complete." And miles to go before I sleep.

Blessings~
-C-

"Doesn't It Drive You Crazy?!"

Hey, Readers,

At work, I have two bosses. One is Catholic. The other is Agnostic, Pagan-ish but not practicing. They are great friends, and of course, business partners. They are wonderful! I love them both. I do not name their religions for any sort of commentary on their religious identities, merely to identify them apart from one another and give you a basic idea of where they're coming from in that regard.

My co-worker told me shortly after we met and started working together that she is also Pagan, though not practicing and very new to identifying as Pagan at all. She told me this because, she said, she could tell that I was Pagan. I don't know how she could tell this--the only discussions we'd had that were at all relevant were about tasseomancy and tarot, but whatever the reason, she knew and shared this with me.

Eventually, my co-worker told our Catholic boss that we were both Pagan.
The negative reaction from our boss startled my co-worker, who is not out of the broom closet at all and has never experienced the prejudice or discrimination that sometimes comes with being open about a minority identity such as religion.

Right before Halloween, I overheard my bosses discussing religion and why Pagans celebrate Halloween and Christmas, and why they call it Christmas if Christmas is about Christ. This is when I heard my Agnostic boss say that she is not a practicing Pagan and usually just considers herself Agnostic. I took the opportunity to offer some of my views on why Pagans celebrate Christmas (with our Christian families, usually), and to explain the Winter Solstice/Yule and its difference from and similarity to Christmas, and so on. So we've had some discussions at work about religion. Though our Catholic boss was clearly under-informed or misinformed about some things, I was really happy that she was willing to listen and ask questions. So many people will not even do that. I am grateful for those opportunities.

Today, my co-worker said something about her old teacher, who happens to go to my church, as we learned recently. Our Catholic boss looked very confused. I didn't notice this, but my co-worker asked her what was wrong, and our boss asked, "Pagans go to church now?" I laughed and said "Oh, yeah, I go to a Unitarian Universalist church. It's for everyone. You can believe anything. There are several Pagans at my church, and people of many other faiths."

The following conversation ensued:

Inversion Aversion

Hey, Readers,

Today I was at my friend Christine's house, and she was telling me about a picture posted by someone she follows online, which got them a lot of flack from fans/readers. She had posted a picture of a witch wearing an inverted pentacle. As my friend described it to me, it sounded a lot like a painting I really enjoy, so I looked up an image of it and showed my friend. Sure enough, she said, "That's it, but in the version I saw, her eyes were made to look reddish."

Cauldrón by Victoria Francés

Cauldrón is a painting by Spanish illustrator, Victoria Francés. At least, I think it's a painting; I'm not sure what medium she uses. In short, I adore her work, have for years, and my dorm room sported several of her pieces in paper print-out form. In this and a few other of her paintings, Francés depicts the pentacle pendants inverted. Yet, those who know her work will know that in other paintings, pentacles are worn upright. Also, in this very painting, there is an upright pentagram on the cauldron, after which the piece is actually titled. So this is not an instance of the artist not having any knowledge of the symbol, or thinking that it is always inverted, or anything like that. Yet this might beg the question further: If she knows them to be used both ways, why choose to invert them?

Whatever Francés' reasoning, my friend was impressed at how this person handled the negative comments on her page after she posted this picture. The author of the page was able to remain calm and simply inform people that there are many reasons why witches DO use this symbol in its inverted form, including that it may be a Second Degree symbol, or represent matter over spirit. For me, looking at this painting, it strikes me that a person may also wear their pentacle this way so that it is upright to their perspective when they look down at it, or so that it is upright when you hold it up in front of you. I have a long-chained necklace which is a clock designed to look like it rests inside a heart-shaped lock, and the clock hangs up-side down so that it faces upright when I pick it up to check the time. Similarly, my compass has a hanging loop on the "bottom." This could be a very practical reason for wearing a pendant inverted if it is more than just decoration, but in fact something that you work with in a practical way.

The main symbolism, though, for an inverted pentacle, is to me, that it represents Spirit Over Matter when upright and Matter Over Spirit when inverted. This is why it has become associated with Satanism, as Satanists are concerned with matters of matter, rather than with matters of spirit. Whenever someone makes a comment about inverted pentacles being Satanic, I am sure to let them know that Satanists choose to use the symbol that way for a specific purpose. It's not that "we" are "upright" as our pentacles and they want to "invert" everything we stand for, it's just simple symbolism and what they want to represent.

As such, I have also personally considered using the inverted pentagram as a symbol to connect more with the Horned God. The symbol was already used in the past to try and associate the Horned God and Paganism as a whole with Satan--you've likely seen those images of an inverted pentagram with a goat-headed being superimposed onto it--so why not use that in a positive sense, for connection, rather than letting it stay something we shun in an effort to dissociate from it? When I mentioned that idea in Magic Class, I DID get horrified looks... from my fellow practitioners! The fear of being associated with this symbol is really ingrained in some people, not because of what it actually means, but because of what society thinks of us and therefore what we try not to perpetuate. People are so quick to say "I'm not evil because my pentacle is this way. If you turn it around, THAT'S Satanism (and therefore evil)." Not everything is so black and white, up or down.

Could you imagine the reactions if I did start wearing an inverted pentacle? What would the general public think? What would my fellow practitioners think? What would those of you who've read this post think, since you have this information behind it? Would you think twice or more about it before making a judgement? Is there something about it that JUST makes people feel strangely, or have we been taught how to feel about this symbol?

My friend was impressed with someone for being able to explain that this symbol is not, in fact, something that people need to get all riled up over and attack her for posting on a witchy page. I take it just a bit further in letting you know that the image in question is actually a stunning piece of art, done in 2004 by a talented Spanish artist. I encourage you to always think more deeply about things like symbols, to ask why, to wonder, and to imagine yourself in someone else's position, even if that person is in a painting.

Think: "If I were wearing an inverted pentacle, what would be the reason behind it?"

Blessings~
-C-

Positive Reactions

Hey, Readers,

As members of a minority religion/spiritual path which is still largely misunderstood in the United States (I don't know about other countries first hand), we often swap stories of prejudice and discrimination. Often, these stories are funny and provide an opportunity for us to laugh at our own stereotypes and feel a sense of bonding--we are not the only ones to experience these negative situations and we can grow from them together. Stories of negative experience are important, both for this camaraderie, and for educating the rest of the public as to the prejudice that, yes, actually happens.

If you're anything like me, you've also heard people talk about how much we "complain" or "cry discrimination," or say that we like to feel persecuted because it makes us feel special in some way. (If you haven't heard those things, good for you and the people around you!) But far from always crying about how prejudiced against we are, and how horrible it is to be a minority, we also have a lot of great, positive stories of acceptance. I'd like to share some recent stories of mine that fall under that positive category.

During my recent job as stage manager for a teen musical workshop, I got a lot of compliments on my various pentacle necklaces! Kind words came from both my cast, ages ranging from 12 to 17, and from my co-workers on the crew, ages ranging 14 to maybe in their 40s. You already heard in a previous blog entry about the director and tech director asking me about my sabbat and esbat (the summer solstice this year fell close to a full moon), but here are some other short exchanges that I haven't already told you:

1. While standing behind the box office counter at the theatre, one of my female cast members leaned over the counter to look at my jewelry. I was engaged in another task and did not notice until she asked, "Hey, what's your necklace?" Having heard a lot of Christian-centric banter the previous summer at the same theatre, I wasn't sure whether the teen crowd was as religious as the younger kids I'd worked with before, so after a moment's hesitation when I wasn't sure how I would phrase my answer, I simply told her the truth. "It's a Goddess pentacle," I said. "Oh!" she smiled and said, "That's really pretty."
2. Another evening, the youngest girl on the cast (12) got a look at another of my pentacles, and simply said "I really like your necklace!" Probably not all kids raised in a Christian town would recognize what a pentacle is, but this girl is very sharp. I've worked with her twice now. If she doesn't already know the meaning of the symbol, I'm sure she'll find out.
3. One of the first nights I started working in the booth with my board ops, I was wearing my moon phase pentacle and one of my ops asked, "Are those the moon phases on your necklace?" After I said yes, he said "That's really cool." The other board op, overhearing this, took a closer look and agreed, "Yeah, that is really cool." My board ops are 14 and 16, and both atheist/agnostic.
4. One of the show nights, I again wore my Goddess pentacle, and getting a look at it, the second board op from the previous story laughed and said "Wow, that's gutsy." "What?" I asked, and he said "Wearing that necklace here." I asked him why, and he said "Because this is SUCH a Christian town!" One of the boys on cast was also in the booth at the time and said "Yeah, don't let [the director] see you wearing that," to which I said "[She] has known me for years, and always seen me wearing pentacles. Not only has she never said a negative word about it, but you guys all know she wears crystals and talks about the sun and moon phases ALL THE TIME. I think a lot of the people here have pagan leanings, if they're not actually pagan." Another member of the cast, the son of the tech director, confirmed my suspicions with a knowing nod and "I'm pretty sure my dad is Wiccan." After that, there was just a silent acknowledgement of the awesome possibility that in the middle of that little Christian town, there could be a whole room full of people of differing beliefs who were all respectful of each other.

I can think of two other stories from the theatre, but those involve people sticking up for my views when a member of the cast bombarded us with Christian subject matter. So while they are stories of acceptance and people not being at all afraid to stand up and say that they supported me, they could also be looked at as stories of prejudice, with the Christian person first giving me grief. So we'll stay away from those for now! But the theatre is not the only place I've gotten compliments or positive feedback on my views:

• At the medieval faire, I'm always complimenting people on their pagan jewelry or tattoos. But the best compliments I've received so far at the faire were probably those from two patrons of the faire who were not in costume, looked like it was their first time there, and had approached just to ask me for directions, not to talk about the Runes (which is what we sell at the stand I work). After talking to me for a moment and finding me helpful, they decided to chat a bit about the weather or something equally mundane, and then the young girl asked, "Is that a pentacle you're wearing?" I said yes and she said "That's very pretty." Then the older woman, presumably the girl's mother, looked closely at it, smiled, and said "Oh that is pretty!" Then they said it was great to meet me and went about their way.
• Three or four of the people at the faire have revealed to me this year that they watch my YouTube channel. Most, if not all of them, started watching due to the medieval faire videos I post, but all said they continued to watch more, and love them. This, of course, means they know a LOT more about me than I know about them! Actually, it's even weird to write this, since they may very well read it someday. Hey, you!
• At craft shows where my mother and I sell pagan-themed things, we've had several people come up and either express like-minded views, or ask us to tell them more about paganism or magick. We have not yet been approached by someone for that type of conversation who has not been open-minded and positive about it all.
• At the UU church I attend, we have started hosting a Magick Class. Four months into it, I keep meeting more and more people interested in magick and paths that incorporate it. These people are not all pagans themselves, but include UUs (of course), Jews, and self-titled "Recovering Catholics." Others have never really given their beliefs a label. Most of us came from Christian/Catholic backgrounds, and a few were raised in pagan-ish beliefs.

An old logo picture I made for my channel, which
shows the three pentacles mentioned in this post.

And finally, a story I briefly related as part of my "Shit People Say to: Pagans, Neopagans, Wiccans, Witches, etc." video: My sophomore year of undergrad, I was a teaching assistant for a freshman colloquium (as I was for the rest of my time there). One of my students was also my dorm floor neighbor, and one day, in my dorm room, he caught a glimpse of my "heavy duty" pewter pentacle necklace, with the Theban alphabet around the circle. A Christian boy from Texas originally (but living in Ohio for years), he took a deep breath and said something to the effect of, "Okay. Cara. That necklace you're wearing. I've been taught that it's bad, but you're wearing it, and you're awesome, so. Could you please tell me what that symbol means to you?" Amazed at this perfect learning opportunity, I quickly obliged, and afterward he thanked me and said that that made so much more sense than what he was taught, because in knowing me as a person, he knew I could never be part of the negative images that he had been taught to associate with the symbol. Today, he is engaged to a mutual friend of ours who used to be a practicing Wiccan/Pagan. As far as I know, she still holds a lot of the same beliefs, but no longer actively practices.

It's sort of amazing what can happen when people simply talk to one another, without judgement. But at the same time, it's not amazing, because it really does happen more than we mention. I mean, it shouldn't be amazing in the sense that we gasp and act surprised when it happens--it should be the default! (Yes, the word "should" is problematic, but you see my point.) People always tend to talk about and report the bad experiences, but we owe credit to the positive experiences, too. It is important to bring the bad stuff to light in order to educate people and learn from it, but I also think it's great to talk about the wonderful people we meet who act as people should always act toward each other--with understanding and mutual respect.

Blessings~

-C-

Witchy Book Recommendations

This post, where I originally started listing book recommendations in 2013 and have continued to update periodically, has now been moved to an actual PAGE here on the blog! Check it out:

Book Recs.

Blessings~

-C-

Post-Solstice

Hey, Readers,

Once again, there are several things I want to talk about, and they keep piling up before I decide what to talk about and when. So I'll start with the first one I can think of and move on from there. Sometimes, it is best to begin at the beginning.

An obligatory post-solstice note. On the eve of the solstice, I spent hours of the day divining with my oracle cards. I wore a "witchy" outfit to rehearsal and got back to the house around 10pm. Grams asked me to fetch the mail, so I used that as an excuse to spend a few extra minutes outside in the dark--after which I composed this Tweet:

Click to view on Twitter

On Solstice Day/Litha/Midsummer, I spent most of the day on the warm, sunny porch, again working with my cards and generally soaking up the sun (not physically--wear sunblock!). On Sunday I had a Circle meeting where we were scheduled to watch a documentary about mythology and perform a Solstice celebration ritual. (I Tweeted a photo of my gold toned attire.) We ended up spending the first hour and a half of our meeting playing with the adorable foster kittens my friend is caring for, and then finally getting to the documentary a while later after some snacks. It was a History channel Clash of the Gods episode about Medusa, which certainly makes you view the gods in a different way. But after that, no one else seemed interested in doing a solstice ritual. Nothing formal was planned but I don't mind spontaneity, so I was hoping to get to do something. However, everyone else was content to just eat and chat for the next couple hours. So I'm very glad that before going to Circle, I went to a local park/nature reserve by myself, found a secluded spot in the woods off the main trail, and did a short devotion there. Otherwise, I wouldn't have gotten to do anything for the sabbat at all.

Oh, and afterwards it was still light out at 6:30pm, so I went to the lake by my old house where I had celebrated Litha last year at dawn, and where Willow resides. The beach has been grown over a lot by grass, and algae creeped along the water line so that I had to search for a section of water I could wade into. I shared freshly picked strawberries and blueberries with the fish, and left some for Willow, as well. It all made me think of the song we had listened to in church that morning--"Canned Goods" by folk singer, Greg Brown. This is the video of it that we watched during service.

~

Fast forward to Monday evening at rehearsal, and the director and I were walking toward the back door to get something from her car when we passed by the tech director. The director asked of him, "How was your Solstice soirée?" He proceeded to describe how he and his kids (two of my cast members) went to a show reunion party and then to the Observatory Park for the solstice event. Then he asked me how my solstice was. Mind you, I have not told anyone there that I'm pagan, though I do wear pagan jewelry every day, so if they know what it is, it's visible. No one's ever said anything, though. So I told him, I was supposed to go to a group celebration but we just watched a documentary instead and no one wanted to do a celebration, to which he responded, "Oh, TELL ME they didn't blow off an esbat for a documentary!" Not just everyone in the world knows the word "esbat." All in all, this summer working with the show has been a lot better than last year when the young kids always managed to work the topic of dying into the conversation, which was followed up by going to Hell, the devil, Satan, and so on. This year, I've received multiple compliments on my pentacles (I wore a few different ones over the past three weeks), heard about a cast member's love of Greek mythology and who her divine parents would be if she were a demi-god, and had a short conversation about everyone's solstice/esbat plans. The director has always randomly talked about solstices and full moons, all the years I've known her, and she wears a lot of crystal jewelry. But I never let myself assume that meant she was pagan/a witch/anything similar, whatever the term. And I was never aware if she knew that I was. But it certainly is an interesting feeling to have someone whose religious affiliation you don't know, ask you casually about your sabbat. Through years of being met with strange reactions, I got used to editing my statements so as not to startle people. I even said "celebration" instead of "ritual" when I described what I did, just to feel it out and see what was really going on. Might I live in a world where finally, a question like "How did ritual go?" is as commonplace as "What did you learn in school today?"

Click to view on Twitter

Blessings, and I hope you had a Happy Solstice~
-C-

Beltane '13

Hey, Readers!

Beltane is a sabbat I have never really gotten to celebrate with a big event.

A few years ago, I have a video from Beltane where my friends and I were doing a Blitz theatre production, because it was on a weekend, and that took up my whole weekend. Last year on Beltane, I was in London at a museum. This year I was at my boyfriend's house, enjoying my time with him since he was only here for five days in between school sessions. I would have had an opportunity last weekend to participate in a small group ritual for Beltane, but they scheduled it on the only Sunday in April that I couldn't make it due to my boyfriend's visit and our lunch with some other friends from my church.

I know that the group's plan was to have a bonfire and hang prayer/wish ribbons on a bush, rather than having a full sized May-Pole. My friend offered to write my wishes on ribbons for me since I couldn't make it, but I didn't have her do so since I didn't have time to really think about what I would wish for, and would rather have done it in the moment myself. If I had been at home (Grams' house, instead of my boyfriend's house), I would have at least gone outside to meditate or something, or maybe gone to a local park. Since I was away from home, with really nothing at all and no special place of my own outdoors, I went without any formal celebration. Instead, I just spent various moments throughout the day thinking about the sabbat and what it means to me. (That, and I played the wonderful, humourous song, "First of May" by Jonathan Coulton, for my boyfriend and our friend who was visiting, hahaha.)

At the medieval faire--Not a maypole at the moment,
but this is the same pole and wreath set-up they have
used for maypoles in the past!

Beltane is a sabbat I associate mostly with the may pole (or other things involving weaving ribbons and symbols of unity), balefires/bonfires, and the "wedding" or union of the God and Goddess. It is a fertility festival, but this is not only literal in relation to human beings and animals--It is also the desire and intent for fertile fields and a plentiful harvest for the year. Spring is a time of beginnings, plantings, potential, and promise. It is a time of hope, but also active preparation. Beltane is often the time when many of us here in the northern hemisphere finally see and feel the spring weather which we welcomed and beckoned at Ostara, the vernal equinox. As such, this may be the time people feel the urge to "spring clean." In the wheel of the year, Beltane is the time when the God and Goddess unite, which some think of as their literal "marriage" in the sense we modern humans use the term, or merely their coming together sexually to promote fertility of the earth.

If I were to celebrate this festival a way I feel would be appropriate, I would want the following elements to occur:

• Bonfire. Absolute must-have. And either a smaller fire elsewhere for people to jump over, or at least a time when the main bonfire is let low enough for jumping.
• A maypole dance! That means several people celebrating together!
• If not a maypole, then at least everyone would get ribbons to weave/tie together, wear, hang on branches, etc.
• Possibly a play, with two people portraying the God and Goddess, dancing together. Some things I've read talk about crowning a May King and Queen. It's all symbolism to me, really, so however it works is fine by me.
• If not a play or two specific people portraying the roles, then at least all involved having the basic idea of being a guest at a divine union of Universal balance.
• Gardening. There will be flowers. Maybe even planting things.
• Drum circle. Because they're awesome.
• And then of course the more private symbolic celebration, not to be shared with the group. =)

As I said, Beltane is one of the sabbats I've never really gotten to celebrate, which is odd since I feel it's one of the easiest ideas for people to grasp or remember. But it's just never worked out! Still, even just taking some time to reflect on the significance of the moment is important to me--acknowledging the day and the season, not just letting it go by unnoticed. I think a lot of us struggle to find time for what people think of as "proper celebrations, rituals, etc." but that doesn't mean we do nothing at all. Not everything needs a full ritual. Not everything needs a whole group (though I do think celebrating sabbats is more fun with more people). And if everyday we live our connection to the land, nature, the Universe, and whatever we view as Deity, so much the better. Each holiday is no different than every other day we don't choose to mark with elevated significance, and each blends into the next, becoming not just important dates we cannot miss and those other days when we do whatever, but a solid string of solid, individual, holy days. It is merely helpful to take time every so often to stop, take stock of what's going on around us, and just to notice and honor it.

That said, I do look forward to Midsummer.

Blessings~

-C-

Wicked Spring

Hey, Readers,

No, the title of this post is not a commentary on the season, nor am I revisiting my trip to Boston. Instead, it merely brings together some of the many things I have been thinking about recently. As you know, because I've mentioned it before, I often think of things I want to blog about and then don't get around to it, and by the time I end up blogging I either have to post a bunch at once or leave some until later! Now, I know I can schedule posts, but I'm not so big on that just yet. So this time, I'll just keep it brief and discuss two main things: Wicked and the general Oz world of literature and other media, and spring-time.

Thumbnail from vlog where I showed the new books I got.
Pictured: Wicked and Son of a Witch by Gregory Maguire.

Last spring, I was in London and saw a production of the musical, Wicked. Then a few months ago I picked up some new books from the half price store, including Wicked: The Life and Times of the Wicked Witch of the West, and its first sequel, Son of a Witch, by Gregory Maguire. I began reading the first book about a week or so ago, and I read casually, a little by little, until halfway through this week when I decided I wanted to finish it before my boyfriend and I went to see the new film, Oz: The Great and Powerful, which premiered on Friday, 8 March. I finished all but a few sections (I guess they're chapters, within books, but the way the novel is laid out, some sections are separated into numbered "chapters" and some are not, so I kept referring to them just as "sections") by Friday night at midnight, so I just left the last few for Saturday morning since obviously we weren't going to make it on Friday.

I am planning a series of videos for my channel where I will talk in depth about various witch-related media, so I don't want to say very much here. But there are a lot of things I have to say about not only Wicked the novel, but also the musical, and then in relation to the new film since I watched it immediately after finishing an alternate view on the story. Trust me, the following is not even a quarter of all I would like to say on these topics, so there will be plenty more in the distant future.

Firstly, the musical is EXTREMELY different from the novel! I expected variation, of course. A compression, at least, and some creative leeway beyond that. But wow, are they ever two different beings. They share a title and a basic plot, following the life of Elphaba, a green girl who grows up to be referred to as the Wicked Witch of the West. But beyond that, they are hardly the same creature. The musical incorporates more of the timeline from Baum's original book, overlapping bits so that you kind of know what's happening in Dorothy's side of the story as Elphaba's life goes on. I liked that when I saw the musical, so it surprised me that the novel ignores certain appearances the Witch makes in Dorothy's timeline in the original book, and instead has her living a whole separate life, sort of on the sidelines, away from Dorothy. Which does make sense in the context of the novel, and I like it very much for that. I just expected a little more of that awareness of the original, having been fooled into thinking the musical was like the book. Sort of like if you've ever watched the movie (or read the play) Rosencrantz & Guildenstern are Dead, and every once in a while you see Hamlet and the other characters from the original story run through R&G's scenes, haha. Or like watching Lion King 1 1/2, and getting little looks at what Simba's up to in the original at the time you're watching Timon & Pumbaa get into their own trouble. Wicked the novel is not like that, but the musical is.

And then, seeing Oz! Wow, is it ever different. Parts of the film actually had me wondering if they were combining it with Through the Looking Glass (sources do say Baum was influenced by Carroll), or if I had missed some key points of the canon, having not read all 14 original books by Baum myself. I did pretty extensive research on The Wizard of Oz my freshman year at college, and through it I did read a few synopses of the other books, though I was focusing on comparing the original book The Wonderful Wizard of Oz (which I do own and have read) to the then SciFi channel original series, Tin Man. It was a great project, but like I said, even so I was left wondering if I had missed things that they decided to use in the movie. I did some basic research upon returning from the cinema, and I learned that throughout the many books, plays, movies, and spin-offs of Oz, the character's names are almost NEVER the same. So we can't really compare one to the other directly, since Elphaba is certainly not anything like the film's Theodora (who becomes wicked out of good, as opposed to Elphaba who was born green at the start), and neither of them are much like Tin Man's Azkadellia or the original western witchy gal. The film's Evanora is no Nessarose (Wicked Witches of the East in Oz: The Great and Powerful and Wicked, respectively), and the Wizard himself lives different timelines in each! Don't even get me started on Glinda, whose very homeland has been confused from the moment the 1939 MGM film hit the screens. The new film does place her in the South, as she was originally, though many people know her as being from the North. Even in the book/musical Wicked, Glinda is from Gillikin to the north, resulting in my forgetting that she was ever from the South. Which reminds me, also don't get me started on the map discrepancies! Each one has things in different places, whole areas looking different, etc. I am rather partial to Maguire's world of Oz, though, having just read it. But I digress.

Captioning is mine, photo from online.
Azkadellia from SciFi's Tin Man series.

I suppose the overall lesson here, as far as comparisons go, is that different people really do have very different views of the same exact things. But at least in this case, it's nice that they DO have all those varying names. Because as I said, Elphaba is not Theodora is not Azkadellia. Oz is not quite The O.Z. It would not be fair to expect them to be alike. It is a little harder to discuss with things such as Glinda, for example, portrayed many ways under the same name, implying that they are the same throughout. Think about your own lives. How many things do people pass off under the same name, claiming them to be alike when they clearly--or unclearly--aren't? And how many times to we encounter situations where people have used different names when they're really talking about the same exact thing? Oh yes, I find lessons everywhere, connections within connections. I love to look at different takes on the same thing, whether it be children's stories, classic plays, or even religions.

After all that, I suppose the spring-time seems a footnote. But I did see Wicked in London in the spring, and it is almost now spring again. Also, both subjects involve a vibrant, verdant green. =) With all these thoughts of witches and green skin and who's good or evil or what evil even is (great discussions about that in the novel Wicked, by the bye)... Today I managed to feel like a witch my way, what being witch means to me. Not to L. Frank Baum or his many successors who wrote so many sequels. Not to the creators of Tin Man, Zardoz (sci fi thing I just learned about, never seen it), or The Wiz. Not to the writers, actors, or production crew of Oz: The Great and Powerful, and also not to Gregory Maguire. I am a witch without much pomp, unlike Az or Glinda or any in the new film. But I am also not a witch who goes out of her way to blend in, like Elphie, covered head to toe to avoid the painful rain water.

I am a witch who runs excitedly outside into the mud, slipping in green and brown argyle shoes bought on discount but loved for their style and comfort; Who stands out on the mossy hill in her bright pink t-shirt, but doesn't mind getting her hands muddy digging to test the soil for a good garden spot. A witch who selectively inspects old flower pots, and while she did light a candle that morning in church in the spirit of the approaching season, really still feels most like a witch when picking the dead leaves off an old mum, reveling in the tiny greenness that is revealed to still be present. As some Wicked merchandised t-shirts proclaim, "Green is Good." That goes for storybook witches as well as for me, as well as for you, as well as for the planet. Green means growth, promise, potential, newness, and freshness. Green means fertility, prosperity, and life. Whether you have green skin, a green thumb, or just like the color, it's good. It's important. It's time.

Blessings~
-C-

Offerings (What, and How)

Hey, Readers!

This week on The Pagan Perspective, we got two questions (the text of which will follow) asking about offerings--how we make them, and how to pick flowers/plants to use for offerings. I wrote out notes for this before I recorded the video, so you can read the notes here instead of watching, or as a supplement to watching the video. As you'll notice (from the title and the questions themselves), this covers WHAT I offer and HOW I do offerings. Perhaps another time I will talk about when or why, if there's interest.

CLICK HERE to watch the video Offerings (What, and How)

The questions were as follows:

herkles1
--How do you handle and do offerings to the gods, spirits, ancenstors and so forth? furthermore how do you properly handle disposing of offerings in a proper and respectful manner? p.s: this channel has helped me a good bit, in my own spiritual path and growth. :) 

LynnifferLeDoppel
--Hi everyone, Im back with another question lol. This may be silly but i was wondering if you could explain to me how to properly pick a flower (or other kind of plant). i feel so apprehensive when i see a clover or a flower and go to pick it. Do you need to use offering stones? Im making offering stones, but what should you do in the mean time or what should you do if you dont have anything to offer? Thank you so much, you have all been such a great help ^_^ ~ Love and Light!

And now, the response, which varies slightly from the video due to improvisations while speaking, but is otherwise very close.


The first question asks about offerings to gods, spirits, ancestors, etc. but I don't have any major distinctions between them as far as how I make offerings to different energies. My offerings are basically the same for ancestors or for Deity--the variations depend only on what the celebration/working/ritual is for, where I am, and what I have to offer.

Things I've offered:
--Food (fruits, nuts, baked goods, any appropriate food for the ritual)
--Drink  (water, wine, milk, juice, again whatever is appropriate)
--Flowers
--Art
--Burning incense
--Burning candles
--Reading of a poem
--Singing of a song
--Dance
--Thoughts/meditation time
--Heartfelt thanks

Giving the offering:
If it's food/drink, I partake of it myself and then set an equal portion aside for the offering. In most cases it's a simple, take a bite of the apple or sip of the wine, and then leave the rest of it for the offering. If it's something like flowers, I present it and leave it. If song, dance, poetry, etc. or something else non-physical, it just happens and then it's done with. Incense or candles, I just burn throughout my working and state that it's for an offering, and then I dispose of the incense ashes like I would any other offering, which I will get to. Or for candles, if it's a tall candle that doesn't burn down all the way, I will save it for the next time and use the same candle for the same type of offering, like the one candle I always use to represent the Universe, or the two candles for God/Goddess. I don't personally like the idea of burying a candle after you've used it once, I would just use it over and over for the same use, to keep up that energy, until it's gone.

Offering Disposal:
If I'm indoors, I leave the offerings on the altar until I'm done and bring them outside later. I usually just leave them somewhere in the woods for nature to consume, as Rich said he does with his. For Samhain 2011, which I celebrated with a group, we buried the ancestors' portion of the food offerings so it would go back to the earth directly, and we tossed extra apples into the woods for the animal parts of nature.

If I'm already outside, I immediately set the food in an offering place on the ground or in tree branches or on a stone (wherever I'm working, it depends), pour the drink on the ground, or place the flowers. If it's something like a physical object or piece of art, not perishable, I would leave it on my altar indefinitely or otherwise keep it for use. If it's something I did on paper, I would treat it like any other petition spell and burn or bury it, depending. (In the case of the Hecate ritual that I did with my friend's women's pagan study group, we made offerings to Hecate by writing it down, reading it out loud to the group, and burning it in the cauldron.)

-----

On collecting flowers:
When I collect flowers for offerings, I just say thank you as I'm picking them. Sometimes I just say thank you, other times I will offer some water if I have my water bottle with me. Sometimes I go back and leave an offering stone if it's in one specific location, or a single plant that I go back to a lot. Other times I will pick up litter from the area as a thank you to the Earth for its gifts.

Litha 2012

In the above picture from my Litha/Midsummer ritual last year, you can see my natural offering bowl. I built up a bowl shape out of sand to hold the flowers and plants I had collected. It's very near the water, so that after I left, the water would eventually break down the bowl and pull the flowers into the lake.

-----

Bonus Question!

On waste:
Someone commented on Rich's video asking what he thinks about wasting things used for offerings, and as we both said, we put food outdoors for nature so it's not sitting around, but an offering is never waste because it has a purpose. If I ever do feel like "oh I don't want to waste that by offering it to the energies I hold dear" then I'm not really offering it if I feel it's waste. Some people offer jewelry by burying it, for example, and I feel weird about that because I know it won't really go back to the Earth and I think it's impractical for me to buy an object just to bury it or something, which is another reason I tend to use food or other things that break down. What I do think is wasteful is like I said with the candles--I think it's wasteful to burn a candle for an hour and throw the rest away, only to burn another one the next time and throw that out, too. So in that case, I reuse it until it's done so I don't feel like I'm wasting resources. So if you feel like anything IS being wasted, you can probably come up with a way to do it so that you feel like you're using your resources well. Or you can opt to offer things you don't need to dispose of, like your words or actions, song and dance, music, etc.

-----

That's it for me until next week, so let us know in the comments what you like to offer or how you go about it. If you have any new ideas for people to try, we'd all be glad to hear! Thank you very much for watching (or reading, if you're reading this on my blog), and until next time, Blessed Be, and goodbye!

Blessings~
-C-

An Appearance

Hey, Readers,

Recently, my friend Órflaith Robin interviewed me for her popular blog, Musings of a Young Irish Witch. You may read the post by clicking on the following link!

Prominent Pagan Project Part IV

The preceding interviews (Parts I-III) and the one following that is up at the time I'm writing this (Part V) have covered people that I know or used to know, and at least one person I'd never heard of but who I may come to know very soon because they auditioned for The Pagan Perspective! This project of hers is very interesting because, since she's not me, it already includes both people that I am very close to, and people that I've had fundamental disagreements with. No matter what you believe, you can find someone on YouTube whose views are close to yours, if not exact. Plenty of people disagree with me, and plenty call me sister. All viewpoints are worth listening to, because they help you either by identification or opposition.

Even though I have significantly fewer readers here, I would like to take the opportunity to thank Órflaith for including me in this project (which she says I inspired in the first place, which I think is remarkable) and for taking on such a big project at all.

Thank you!
And thank you all for reading.

I hope you had a blessed Yule, and as you can see from a recent video, my plans didn't work out as I wrote about them previously. Still, I hope you all enjoyed a pleasant solstice!

Blessings~
-C-

Yule Celebrations!

Hey, Readers!

In my last post, I briefly mentioned that I had several possible plans for Yule, but no definites. Here's what has turned out!

The women's group I've been attending circles with already had their Yule celebration last weekend, but I had to work so I couldn't make it. I actually got sent home from work sick that day, so I was technically free but was ill and slept to regain my health instead. (It's just a cold, but I work at a health care facility, so I can't be at work around patients if I have ANY kind of symptoms. I've been sent home several times before because of my stomach issues and nausea, as well.) So anyway, I missed that celebration and their planned gift exchange.

My friend... (I'll start calling him my friend, because he used to be my drama club director in high school, but now I'm an adult and his wife is the temporary minister of the church I attend so we have a different relationship now... Friend is also much easier to say!) Therefore, my friend is performing a winter solstice service for a mixed group on Friday and he's invited me to attend that! It's a long drive for me, and it takes place shortly after I get off work, but I'm going to ask my boss tomorrow if I could leave work a little earlier on Friday in order to make it. If not, I will just get there RIGHT on time or a bit late, but I plan to attend that.

And the final option for celebration was to do something with my ex-boyfriend and his recently-wedded wife at their home. All they thought of to do was dinner and a bonfire, and I did really want to include a fire in my celebration, so I might go just for that. With the mixed group service being earlier and so far away, I'm not sure what time I'd be back to have dinner, so I'm not positive about this third one. I'm not even sure I want to celebrate with them, since I know there's quite a bit of love lost and I've also recently learned that my ex now believes in a lot of things he was never interested in when we dated, which disagree with my practice entirely. So it looks like it would be increasingly difficult to find common ground for an actual group celebration.

Anyway, those are the plans and possibilities! I will be sure to write about whatever ends up happening.

Have a happy holiday season, all!
Blessings~
-C-

Tarot & Oracle Stuff

Hey, Readers,

That's an appropriate greeting for this post.

I think one of the stereotypes of witchcraft is that we all read tarot. A girl I follow on Tumblr somewhat recently revealed to her followers that she is a Christian witch, and one of the first questions she got was "Do you read tarot cards?" And I laughed at that, because it was funny to me that as soon as some people hear "witch," even a Christian one, they think of fortune-telling and divination. Now, it turns out she DOES read tarot. I'm not saying it's not an ACCURATE stereotype! But a stereotype, nonetheless. Not every single one of us does it.

That bothered me for years, because even though I was given an oracle deck several years ago and I picked it up pretty quickly, I never felt able to understand tarot. There was a lot more to remember--my oracle deck is based on characters from folklore, and already knowing their stories, it was easier for me to feel "off book" than with tarot where the symbolism was new--and so many people were expecting it of me. My mother is a tarot reader, and she's done shows and parties for people, reading many people's cards to rave reviews. People would always ask if I was also a reader, or if she was teaching me, or, on the rare occasion I would meet someone who would come up to me and say, "You're a reader." Not a question, but a statement.

I've known my whole life that I love symbolism and hidden meaning. I love explaining things and making what looks complicated more simple for people. But I couldn't seem to do that for myself when it came to cards. I still felt like I had to read the meanings to remember, and I didn't like reading the meaning and then applying it to people. I felt like it was no book, or no reading. So for a while I was quite resentful when people thought that my being a witch meant I had to read tarot. I must be a tarot reader, for I was a witch! I didn't like that idea, so I would tell people that I do have an oracle deck but I don't read tarot and I've never read for anyone else because I don't feel ready.

Colorful Magick

Hey, Readers,

I'm actually about to head out the door and become busy for the next few hours, and probably just retire to shower and bed upon my return home. But I wanted to post a quick, quick little thing. It's something I've said probably dozens of times now, between my videos, Pagan Perspective videos, messages to people, conversations, and Tweets.

"White" and "black" magick. *shudder*

Those terms, used seriously, make my eyes roll instantly. This is one of the things that continues to bother me under the surface. While I know it doesn't truly make any difference in the long run, it irks me, still.

Magick is magick.

When we do magick (or magic, however you choose to spell it is fine), we often use color. Or colour. =) I love using color symbolism in my workings, and often, the energy I'm working with will take on a color. So yes, magick involves color. But I simply do not buy that there is such a thing as "white magick" and a thing such as "black magick." Magick is itself, colorless and all colors, beyond categorization like that of a box of crayons. It is a tool, and as such can be used any way the practitioner desires. Magick has the capability of doing good, and of being used for less than good.

I understand that this is what most people mean when they say "white" and "black" magick, but I think some people are still using the terms as though they mean separate things. People will say things like "I practice white magick, I would never do black magick." But that doesn't have anything to do with the magick. The magick you're using can do both. It's YOU that makes the decision. YOU that has the flavor for good or otherwise. I will not say "bad" or "evil" because I don't think that's proper, either. Not in this case. Not all which is not light is bad.

Anyway, I think we could all get a lot more out of life and our practice by doing away with such "black and white" imagery as putting magick, something profound and encompassing of many possibilities, into a box of crayons. The colors in this case are symbols, no more. Visual aids.

Magick is the box the colors are in, and the hammer and nails or clay or stone used to create it, and the carpenter or sculptor or some such creator. Magick is so much more.

Blessings~
-C-

P.S. There is a video on my channel about this, which I'll link later on. Or search it for yourself, YouTube username cutewitch772, video name "What is Magick?" I think. Cheers.

Passing Familiars

Hey, Readers,

This past week, my Wiccan friend from church (who really needs a nickname if I'm going to refer to her online) told me that her familiar passed. For once, I actually do know how she feels. My familiar passed away two summers ago. Though they passed from this world in drastically different ways, the two--both cats, by the bye--had very similar effects on us. I sent my friend the link to the memorial video I made for Mystery, as an example of part of how I dealt with the loss. I also performed a ritual for Mystery, and since her passing I have still included her in several rituals, honoring her at Samhain and so on. I also still see her.

At church on Sunday, my friend did appear visibly distressed. It was easier for me, though, actually understanding. So many times we try to comfort friends when we have no idea what they're going through. I still don't know my friend very well, and I didn't know her Zoey. But I know what it must have been like, because of Mystery.

My friend said that what I said about Mystery in my video, how she came into my life around the time I started practicing and left when I had started getting back into it seriously, somewhat applied to her timeline with Zoey. She was going through a really hard life transition at the time, and Zoey was a comfort. We're not sure what it is about her path now that may parallel the reason Mystery left me, if there is a reason similar for her, but she does hope that, as I see it, Zoey was called back in order to help someone else who needs her more.

I made my memorial video for Mystery in order to help people know her more. I don't know much about Zoey, but at least you can know what I know, and keep her memory alive. Zoey loved to help my friend smudge the circle. She would follow her around the circle as it was cleansed. She was also quite selfless, always being there to comfort my friend. Even when Zoey was sick, I'm told, she would curl up on my friend's lap to comfort her. "Here she is comforting me, because I'm crying because she's sick! And I'm like, you're the one who's sick, I should be comforting you!" We hope Zoey is providing that kind of comfort for someone else now.

During the service, my friend had written in the Book of Joys and Cares to be read out loud to the congregation that the family cat had passed away. The person serving that day said "I don't know the cat's name, she didn't write it here, but I'm sure the cat was well loved and will be missed." An old man seated in front of us, who clearly didn't know he was so near the person whose Care was read, leaned over to the person next to him and said "The cat doesn't know it's name, either! Haha!" The next part of the service was the Silent Lighting of Candles, where we light a candle to mark a special event, remember a loved one, or "because we feel moved by a deep reason to do so." As we stood up, my friend tapped the man on the shoulder, and when he looked up at her, said, "Her name was Zoey."

I had been planning on lighting my candle for Mystery. I lit it for that man, instead. And for anyone who would see fit to poke fun at someone's loss. Perhaps people think a cat is not a significant loss, since most losses read to the congregation are of human family members and friends. But to us, whose lives have been changed and aided by these, our beautiful, magickal creature-friends... They are extremely significant.

Side Note: After that, I did spend a moment during our meditation manifesting a bundle of positive energy, both for her situation as well as for the man who made the comment, and for the congregation at large. I have always done this and felt that it works but it's only a feeling of mine. But my friend turned to me during a silent moment and said, "Thank you for the positive energy. I can feel that." I've never had confirmation like that, and she doesn't even know I needed it. I didn't know I needed it. But it helped. And so we help each other.

A candle for Zoey.
A candle for Mystery.
A candle for Ignorance.
A candle for Bliss.

Blessings~
-C-

No-Show Witchcraft

Hey, Readers!

Some people like to wear no-show socks. Some people like no-show deodorant. Me? Well, I enjoy those things, too, but something else I don't tend to show much of is my spellcrafting or much of my practice.

This post is both an update to the last post about my "blue moon" ritual plans being cancelled, and an attempt to address something that a viewer pointed out which has also been an ongoing struggle of my own. I refer to the practice of sharing our personal practice online, and the connected suspicion that if we don't show it, maybe we're not really doing it at all.

Uncommon Species
Of the almost 300 videos on my YouTube channel so far, I have 54 in my "Religion-related videos" playlist at the time of this blog post, and some others are probably also related to my spirituality but not enough that I put them in the playlist. Of these 54 videos, I can count FOUR demonstrations and TWO celebrations--videos where I show an event I'm attending (a drum circle in 2008, and Pagan Pride in August 2012). There are also several videos where I explain, in words, something I have done previously or the way I normally do something (like grounding/centering) without actually showing me doing these things. Of these videos, I can count somewhere around FIVE. I know that on paganperspective I have done at least two demonstrations, one showing how I would do a "love spell" to draw love to me, and the other was some energy work that I have an extra video from on my channel. So as you can see, showing myself doing spellcraft is not common, but I have shown some things, and other things I am alright with explaining in words.

The rest of my practice--the other drum circles I've attended or held in my backyard or living room with family and friends, the first group practices I did way back in 2004-2008 when I was starting to study Wicca, each time I cleanse crystals by the full moon and the sun, walking meditations, dreams, shadow work circles, elemental meditation circles, my Litha ritual this year, little spells here and there for energy or healing or protection and so on, or the simple offerings and crystal cleansing I did for the "blue moon" this past week--is not shown. That doesn't mean it doesn't exist, of course. It only means that I don't show it to the whole world. Many of my rituals are done outside in the middle of the night, so recording wouldn't even be practical if I wanted to record them. I think everyone understands that not every moment of any YouTuber's life is shown in videos. Even the Shaytards, who have posted a video every day for years now, leave out some moments. So I think people know that just because I'm not showing my craft does not mean it doesn't exist, especially when I do talk about a lot of things afterwards.

A Personal Choice
Despite this probable understanding, I do struggle with what to show and what not to. From the beginning, I did not feel it was right to record myself performing a ritual. Something like that is personal, and having it recorded feels to me like I'm only doing the ritual to show it to others, which is not the case when I'm working. I don't even show my altar set-ups, because whenever I go to take a picture, I have this feeling of "So you set this up just to show other people?" I enjoy looking at pictures of other people's altars, and people have asked to see mine, yet so far I have not desired to show my personal practices. I talk about them pretty openly, but SHOWING them is different for me. I did, however, take a few photos with my cell phone of what I did for my Litha ritual this year, planning on sharing it later on down the line, or maybe even next year. I need a buffer zone for sharing things, to a point where I feel it's been long enough that it won't affect my feelings about what I've done. I need and want that personal time with it. It's for me and my connection to the Universe. Yet, I enjoy connecting to other people. So I do have some pictures stored away that I may share at some point, and I do plan on showing my "Craft Room" at some point in a video.

Examples
Like I said, there are some videos that do show or explain bits of my practice, though perhaps they are too rare for people to take note. Even when I've done demonstrations of spells in video, the one on paganperspective was for demonstration only, going through the motions. I did it again afterwards with my energy actually into it. I didn't feel comfortable actually performing it on camera, but I wanted to show my process to show people how I do it. In my flower affirmation video, I was actually collecting the flowers I wanted and then releasing them, so that was as close to showing real work as I got with video, though to me it was much more informal and therefore did not bother me as much to show it. And with my Doorknob Spell, I would show that, but it was just a story about what happened years ago! If I still had the dry erase doorknob hanger, I would gladly demonstrate, but I think that one's pretty self-explanatory as a story. In my Samhain Ritual video, I talk about what I did with the UU club. It wasn't appropriate to record the actual event, but I didn't mind at all telling my viewers the specifics, and I do plan to share the notes of the ritual at some point so that others may use it if they like.

Finally, I come to the most recent, my Pagan Pride 2012 video which was recorded at Cleveland Area (Ohio) Pagan Pride on 25 August. We got there just in time for a public ritual of sorts, and when it began I gave the camera to my friend so that he could record some things while my other friend and I participated in the ritual. It mostly consisted of dancing, and the video shows just a little of us greeting the elements while the leaders of the ritual did the actual calling. I thought since it was public anyway, sharing a bit would be a good opportunity for others to see. Several people commented on the fact that they don't usually see me participating in ritual or actually doing any working, so it was nice to see. And one person voiced my thoughts that I have long since ceased worrying about--whether anyone else had been wondering if I was "all talk."

I don't blame anyone for wondering it, necessarily. I have sometimes wondered if people thought that about me. But as I responded to the comment, my personal feelings are still more important. I do show some things, and I share a lot of things in the form of stories and explanations. I do not feel as though I am in any way coming off as fake. But I have wondered if some people think so, because there are quite a lot of pagans on YouTube who show themselves doing various things pretty frequently. Perhaps I am a minority, but I don't mind it.

More of the Same
While I do not personally feel that I am doing myself a disservice, I do think maybe it's important to share the videos I have done that show or demonstrate things, and to share why I don't show more. I really appreciate people's videos that show me how to do things, like make offering stones or black salt, or when Dancing Rabbit demonstrated Starhawk's salt water cleansing. So why don't I do more of that, showing things that I do? People have asked me to show how I cleanse stones, and I keep meaning to and just haven't yet. People ask to see my altars, and again, when I get to showing my witchy room, I will show my general, simple set-ups. But generally I don't show more because 1) I don't feel like I know enough or know something better than anyone else, that I should make a video about it, or 2) it feels too personal and I don't want to betray that, or 3) I feel that it suffices to point you to someone else, because that's where I got it anyway, so why should I redo it? I hold no specific authority just because it's me doing the video.

I'm going to continue only showing what I feel is appropriate (by my own standards) to show, and I am going to continue enjoying what others feel like sharing. Nothing will change, but maybe it does good to explain.

Blessings~
-C-

I AM SO PUMPED RIGHT NOW (Lily Dale)

Hey, Readers!

You like that extremely colloquial title to this post? WELL, I AM PSYCHED. LET ME TELL YOU WHY.

My mom and I are going on a day trip tomorrow to Lily Dale, New York, which is a trip we've had planned for about a month for my birthday (my birthday was yesterday, the 16th). We're going with a large group of people, organized by a friend of ours who is a spiritualist and medium and did a lot of work at Lily Dale. We only paid the basic entrance fee, which includes a lot of daily, free things you can do within the area. There are also extra things that you can pay more for, but we're not going to do any of that.

So before you get too excited with me, know that I cannot ATTEND this exact thing that is making me so excited because 1) I don't have an extra $45 to spare and 2) apparently you had to register online way before this and I didn't know it was happening until just now when I looked up Lily Dale to try and see what would be available for us to do for free. So I'm not going to this event, BUT I'M PSYCHED ABOUT IT NONETHELESS, BECAUSE...

Food-Only Altar

Hey, Readers,

Someone sent me a message on YouTube asking for suggestions for dorm-friendly representations of the elements and God/Goddess. I have a great love for symbolism, and I think I'm quite good at finding meaning in things, and finding connections between things that other people may view as unrelated.

I gave this person some of the usual suggestions for the elements--things I use or things others have used. But I had never really been asked to suggest symbolism for God and Goddess before. Being me, I ended up going from ritual items, natural items, and color suggestions to simple items that could be found anywhere that represent masculine and feminine--something phallic and something womb-like, I said. Thinking of what a college/university student might have, I suggested a butter knife and spoon, or a fork and spoon, or even a straw in a glass. Such things may sound silly, I know, but the symbolism fits if only you personally feel that such items call to you!

Then I thought, perhaps, a food-only altar would be fun to try out sometime. We all know there are masculine and feminine foods. But besides that, foods are also associated with elements, AND they are different colors. So why not create an altar whereupon every representation is a food item?