It's strange to write that greeting now, knowing that there actually are people following this blog. Hello! I am honored by your presence. But don't worry! I won't allow your being here to make me worried about how much I'm (not) posting. This blog is still, largely, for me. Just the things I am willing to share with the world.
I've done a lot of journaling lately, and some of the things I wrote about ARE things I will write or make videos about at a later date. But for now, I kind of feel like they're in flux, and should therefore wait until some time has passed for me to write on them.
Interjection: It's 2am here and my friend just texted me a quote from Frost. I love my life. =)
Anyway, instead of writing fully on individual topics right now, I will jot down a bunch of spirituality-related thoughts and connections I've been mulling over in one of my favorite forms: the bulleted list.
- I made a video on magick and coincidence (oh, that reminds me, I'm behind on linking videos here, too) in response to a question that an atheist asked me, which lead to conversations with two other atheists, one of whom I've commented back and forth with before.
- The new one lead me to thoughts about questioning, proof, and mostly, Nature. The crux of my little discovery through this discussion, which I have told no one but my journal yet but will elaborate upon at a late time, is "Nature is Diverse." Sounds obvious, doesn't it? It should.
- The one I talked to before lead me through this new discussion to one main lesson learned: When we way that our paths are about taking responsibility for yourself, your actions, and your beliefs, we mean it. It is not my duty to convince someone of anything. If someone wants to believe, of course they can get help from others, but ultimately it's up to them. No one can expect us to make them believe. Even if I could, I wouldn't do it. It's a personal journey. It's your responsibility.
- I love when the backwards tab actually takes me back to the main bullet. I really like bulleted lists, though I know that normally none of the bullets should be this long. They'll get shorter.
- My friend is still reciting poetry at me via technology and it's wonderful.
- I definitely want to do a video about sharing our rituals/altars. I have this weird back and forth going on in my head where I like seeing other people's altars, but I feel strange stopping in the middle of getting ready to do ritual to take pictures. It feels showy to me, even though I don't think that about other people when I look at theirs. Anyway, video on that sometime later.
- Speaking of, Midsummer was nice. I didn't get up at dawn like I wanted, and I couldn't have a fire and no one would come over if I invited them anyway, so I did a small thing on my own at the lake which I think was rather lovely. And I DID take some pictures, just in case.
- Many of us "modern pagans" view sacrifice as giving of ourselves. A layer of my skin has just been sacrificed to the sun, literally, so why not make it concrete and actually offer that? Out with the old, in with the new. I just wish it all came off in bigger pieces, like when my gecko, Kitty Lizard, sheds.
- I met a couple pagans at the craft sale we did last weekend!
- I was selling my jewelry and a girl wanted a pair of earrings I had made with pentacle charms. She was with her aunt, who said, "I would love to get them for you but I know your mom will have a fit." The aunt then told me that she and her husband had a pagan wedding and it was hard to get the family there, let alone buying the girl pentacles. The girl asked me what they were--she didn't know they were a symbol of anything. Just stars to her at that point. I told the aunt to send me a message on Etsy & I'll make the girl the same pair of earrings with another charm. I hope she does.
- But also, that means there are other pagans somewhere nearby!
- The pagans I know IRL can't celebrate with me, and that makes me sad. My cousin lives across the country and I'm not sure she practices regularly. My friend G lives a ways away and is hard to get hold of. And my ex-boyfriend and his fiancee say they're pagan and make a big deal of talking about it but I'm not even sure they actually practice. Last I knew, my ex wanted to be pagan but knew nothing about it and I was supposed to teach him but at the time the breakup was recent so I didn't want to, and now his fiancee doesn't let him near me, so of course they can't come over to celebrate.
- After reading The Spiral Dance I really desire more personal community, face-to-face. I'm not going to run and jump into the first coven I meet, of course. But it would at least be nice to have a small group of people I could celebrate sabbats with. Those feel like community times to me. Family times.
- Anni is leaving YouTube/PaganPerspective and I'm going to miss her because she is one of the best things ever.
- I want to travel and meet all my YouTube people. Everyone from PaganPerspective (Anni, Charlie, Bren, Cole, Rich, DR & Feather, Eric, Erriender, Waide, Liz, Yucca, Pat... so many current and past!), Tya, Sayge, James, Jody, Amanda!, and the list just goes on. I need time and money, please.
- I need to spend at least one year of my life living in the southern hemisphere. I am continually embarrassed at how much I don't know is opposite down there. I knew the seasons/sabbats were, but someone recently mentioned that the moon phases are, too, and I just never knew that. I think living a turn of the wheel essentially on my head would be a good experience. Again with the time and money, please.
- I would love to teach. I feel too young, but at the same time I know that the little bit I have learned in the past eight years can help others. Besides, we can learn together.
- I need to make my witchy t-shirts! I didn't get approved to sell them on the site, so I want to make my own, by hand, and sell them directly through my Etsy along with my other stuff.
- I want to make stencils first, so I can just trace & decorate each shirt and they'll all be unique but more uniform than if I free-handed each one over and over. It will save time and sanity.
- Ideas for shirts have been to make ones with my face (which I will not attempt by hand, thank you), ones with phrases about "cute witch" (I thought "PROUD TO BE A CUTE WITCH" or "I'm a CUTE WITCH"), my quote about balance, "YOU DON'T GET IT," quotes from my Shit People Say video, etc.
- I bought magnet sheets so I could make magnets with my artwork, but I haven't done that yet because I don't know what to put on them. I also haven't told anyone or asked for suggestions.
- If I cleansed a space with my besom the way I swept the barn today, it would take a lot longer.
Now I'm getting away from the thoughts I already had and reminding myself of other things, so I'll stop there. I'm glad I remembered to add the broom one, because I did have a long conversation with myself about that earlier. Even mundane tasks become magical explorations for me.
Enough. I'm going to watch some My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic now. Oh, that reminds me, after making one of those connections with the atheist conversation, I watched an episode wherein Twilight Sparkle, the resident magician unicorn of the group, tries to find scientific evidence for Pinkie Pie's intuition. The practitioner of unicorn magic is a scientific skeptic. Take that, expectations and stereotypes!
Good night, thanks for reading, and Blessings~