An Appearance

Hey, Readers,

Recently, my friend Órflaith Robin interviewed me for her popular blog, Musings of a Young Irish Witch. You may read the post by clicking on the following link!

Prominent Pagan Project Part IV

The preceding interviews (Parts I-III) and the one following that is up at the time I'm writing this (Part V) have covered people that I know or used to know, and at least one person I'd never heard of but who I may come to know very soon because they auditioned for The Pagan Perspective! This project of hers is very interesting because, since she's not me, it already includes both people that I am very close to, and people that I've had fundamental disagreements with. No matter what you believe, you can find someone on YouTube whose views are close to yours, if not exact. Plenty of people disagree with me, and plenty call me sister. All viewpoints are worth listening to, because they help you either by identification or opposition.

Even though I have significantly fewer readers here, I would like to take the opportunity to thank Órflaith for including me in this project (which she says I inspired in the first place, which I think is remarkable) and for taking on such a big project at all.

Thank you!
And thank you all for reading.

I hope you had a blessed Yule, and as you can see from a recent video, my plans didn't work out as I wrote about them previously. Still, I hope you all enjoyed a pleasant solstice!

Blessings~
-C-

Yule Celebrations!

Hey, Readers!

In my last post, I briefly mentioned that I had several possible plans for Yule, but no definites. Here's what has turned out!

The women's group I've been attending circles with already had their Yule celebration last weekend, but I had to work so I couldn't make it. I actually got sent home from work sick that day, so I was technically free but was ill and slept to regain my health instead. (It's just a cold, but I work at a health care facility, so I can't be at work around patients if I have ANY kind of symptoms. I've been sent home several times before because of my stomach issues and nausea, as well.) So anyway, I missed that celebration and their planned gift exchange.

My friend... (I'll start calling him my friend, because he used to be my drama club director in high school, but now I'm an adult and his wife is the temporary minister of the church I attend so we have a different relationship now... Friend is also much easier to say!) Therefore, my friend is performing a winter solstice service for a mixed group on Friday and he's invited me to attend that! It's a long drive for me, and it takes place shortly after I get off work, but I'm going to ask my boss tomorrow if I could leave work a little earlier on Friday in order to make it. If not, I will just get there RIGHT on time or a bit late, but I plan to attend that.

And the final option for celebration was to do something with my ex-boyfriend and his recently-wedded wife at their home. All they thought of to do was dinner and a bonfire, and I did really want to include a fire in my celebration, so I might go just for that. With the mixed group service being earlier and so far away, I'm not sure what time I'd be back to have dinner, so I'm not positive about this third one. I'm not even sure I want to celebrate with them, since I know there's quite a bit of love lost and I've also recently learned that my ex now believes in a lot of things he was never interested in when we dated, which disagree with my practice entirely. So it looks like it would be increasingly difficult to find common ground for an actual group celebration.

Anyway, those are the plans and possibilities! I will be sure to write about whatever ends up happening.

Have a happy holiday season, all!
Blessings~
-C-

Pre-Yule Update

Hey, Readers,

Lots to do, no time at all in which to do it! That goes for my personal life as well as my interpersonal relationships, spiritual practice, day job... You name it. We're always reaching for time, time, time.

It's no wonder I take such pleasure in time travel-centered television shows and movies. While I would never want to change anything, I can relate to the feeling of endless time and space.

As you probably know, I am now living at Grams' house. My mother and her husband have not left yet, but everyone thinks my anxiety and anger at this time is due to their immanent departure. I guarantee that this is not so. Everyone clings to an acceptable answer and crowds around giving me advice for that supposed reality. But the truth is, hardly anyone who's bothering to console me could even take the time to understand what's really wrong. I let them go on thinking the most simple of answers. I save the rest for my close friends, boyfriend, and vague mentions on the internet that I can look back on later.

Due to the move, my day job, and visiting my boyfriend in my major time off, I've had no time to organize anything. I made my bed and put my clothes away in various dressers (I have extra furniture here!). Downstairs, I arranged my futon with mom's showcase as a coffee table on the floor, and my cousin and I hung an old-fashioned lamp from the ceiling above it. My books are (mostly) on shelves, but not in my usual order yet. All the craft supplies are at least in one area of the room, if not all put away. It is a very gradual process. I work all day, come home and eat and maybe take a nap because I'm so tired all the time, and then do whatever is necessary for the day. As you can imagine, this does not always include organizing a section of my life. Very infrequently does it mean time for "practice" in the formal sense, though I keep my usual spiritual elements of daily life throughout.

You know, some people would arrange their altars first, and let the rest of their life take shape from there. I didn't. My altar tables are in general locations, but they are not set up. Instead I focused on my beds, getting my cat comfortable in her new surroundings, and making sure my uniforms for work were all in a reachable location. I set up my "relationship altar," however--the space of reminders of my boyfriend who is attending grad school three hours away. That, and my yoga mat, were kept close at hand from the start.

And though it's fast approaching and it seems I'll have nothing put together by then, I will be doing something for Yule. This will be the first year I celebrate Yule with other people. I'm not exactly sure what will happen, since I was invited to several things, but I hope to find out whether or not those things are all happening fairly soon so I can plan. One is happening some distance away and is a solstice celebration that my former director is hosting, so I know it's not a solely pagan event as he's a Universal minister, not pagan himself. Another is just that the women's group I attended a few times normally does things for holidays, so I thought their monthly meeting might be for Yule, but I haven't heard any plans yet. The third is more complicated: I addressed some "pagan" "friends" of mine about having constantly turned down my invitations to practice or celebrate together over the years, about ignoring my suggestions but turning around and advertising it themselves as though they thought of it all, etc. They completely missed the important points and instead of truly seeking to rectify the issues, they thought it would be enough to just invite me to celebrate Yule with them. I said I would like to have a bonfire, which is the only thing they could think of, but the Universal event is the same night because they're all doing it on solstice night. So I'm just not sure what will end up happening.

My boyfriend will be away for the entire holiday season, which is why I used my time off last weekend to visit him instead of unpacking my life into the new house. Everyone else in my family will be with the people they are romantically involved with (if they have them, which most do. Here I think of Grams, whose loving husband has been gone for some years. But even he will be with us). Yet I will have to celebrate the winter holidays without my other half for the first time in years.

There is a lot to contend with in my physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual lives. A lot to give over to the darkness, a lot to bring forth from the light.

-----

so much depends
upon

a length of
time

pushed and pulled
taught

within a set
reality

-----

With thanks to W.C.W.

Blessings~
-C-

Messages from The Killian Star

Hey, Readers,

I have recently started and finished a book that's been sitting on our shelves for several years now, The Killian Star. It was written by Alyson E. Denny, who is a friend of my mother's, and that's why we have the book. I'm going to do a video review of the book, so I won't get too much into that here, but I do want to talk about something else which stems from my reading of it (which I'll probably also make a video about, but I wanted to write it out here, too).

It does seem that everything falls into place, that things come to me just when I need them. In this case, of course the book has been lying around here for an age, but it was only this past week that I said to my mother, "You know, I always wanted to read this, I'll get through it this week and give it back to you before you move." And that's what I did, and that's when it was able to give me its message.

Oh, wow, I've literally only JUST realized something... Alyson wrote in the front of the book a note to my mother, saying that she hoped my mom would glean the book's secret message. Now I can only wonder if she meant what I'm about to tell you about! Huh! I can't believe I didn't think of that until now.

Anyway, as I'll mention in my review, the story itself is very interesting but the book is in want of an editor. To me, having been a teaching and writing assistant for three and a half years during my undergrad career, it read like one of my students' rough drafts. It was much better thought out and planned than many of them, but the abundance of typographical errors, spelling errors, and moments when you can no longer tell which character is speaking because something was written incorrectly or left out... well, it distracted me quite a bit. Especially in the beginning of the book when the story is more in pieces. But after a while, the action consolidates and I was able to concentrate more on the story than the misplaced commas and quotation marks, and I did end up gaining something from the story, though I didn't realize it until Friday night.

There are actually two moments in the book that have played out for me this weekend, as follows:

1) In the story, a ghost tells the main character's friend that he will be able to hear the spirit's instructions as thought suggestions in his mind. He won't necessarily hear the ghost's voice, but suddenly he would know what to do. The character experiences it exactly this way, speaking aloud words that he knows he wouldn't have known to say on his own, so he realizes he must be hearing the spirits' messages.

On Friday night, my boyfriend came back into town for a visit and came to my house, after which we both drove our individual cars to his house so that I'd have my car to drive to church and back home on Sunday. It was snowing a lot for the first time so far this year, and I need new tires. Things were going along well until we got to an intersection that was very snow-covered, even with all the traffic, and my boyfriend signaled in front of me to turn left, which is not the way I usually go. I slowed down and began to slide off the road. I managed to stop safely, but then I had trouble getting the car to go through the intersection and onto the next road because my tires wouldn't grip through the snow. But I got through that, and continued along. Now, this road I'd never been on before turned out to be very downhill, and very winding. Not good in snow and with bad tires. Needless to say, there were several moments when I almost slid into other cars, into trees, off the road in general, and I was crawling along, trying not to lose control of the vehicle.

As I mentioned in my recent video about the deities I actually work with, Elen of the Ways is my helper on the road, so I squeezed my bag of lavender and asked for her help. I'd asked for her help before, but never when I was actually already in a dangerous situation. I spoke to her, mostly to calm me down. Then a particularly bad slide had me really frightened, and as I straightened the car back out I said aloud, "Elen, please help me stay safe, and tell me what you want as an offering!" Just then I turned a corner and saw a deer crossing sign. Deer being sacred to Elen, I knew that meant she was listening (remember, I'd never been on this road, so I didn't know there was a deer crossing sign ahead). I started to cry as I said thank you and continued driving along. I repeated, "Tell me what you'd like as an offering so I can give you a proper thanks," and immediately images came into my head, just like for the character in The Killian Star. I got three images, three objects, all three things I could easily find for offerings, for which I was grateful. One of the things, the first, was an apple, and I happened to be eating an apple before I started driving and had the rest on the seat next to me. The second thing was snow. When I arrived at my boyfriend's safely, I tossed my apple into the snow. (I should add at this point that I firmly believe that while many things may be commonly known about the gods, I think some things differ for each follower. Elen may have purposely given me instructions she knew I could follow at the time. For someone else following her, apples and snow may not be the answer. I am very grateful to have gotten my own answers, and feel free to test it out for yourself, but I'm certainly no authority and my experiences should not trump your own!)

I have never received an answer so quickly in that format before, of thoughts or images just popping right into my head. I've had things like the sign appearing, suddenly coming across or seeing something physical that relates to the message and tells me the gods are listening. And I've had reactions from the environment, like sounds of animals, rushes of wind, and so on. And I've seen images in my mind's eye, but never so quickly or as an answer to an immediate request, just more like in meditations which are drawn out. But I absolutely believe that the only reason I was able to get a message in that way, as a thought suggestion, is because reading about it in the book made that format come forward in my mind.

2) In the story, a Native American woman named Eva talks a lot about the importance of dreams and listening to them to gain insight. The main character of the book has a lot of strange dreams, and Eva encourages her to pay attention to them and try to find out what they mean.

Of course I've always paid attention to my dreams--dream analysis has been one of my favorite little hobbies for years--but again, this just came at such an appropriate time, that I wonder if Eva's reminders in the book didn't open my subconscious up even more to receiving messages that way. Last night, I had a long dream which took place mostly in a very cluttered new age shop. I remember paying attention to and looking for items that I am interested in in my waking life, such as different shaped incense burners, candles, and other altar decor. But it wasn't any of those things that turned up messages, it was a few small things that I didn't remember until I woke up. One, a silver chain and what looked like abalone shell necklace which was very over-priced. I remember in the dream, myself and a little girl were reading the tag, which said it was made from something with a really long scientific name, which basically means in my waking life, it didn't matter what the substance was. It was the other word on the tag that mattered: Apollo. The other item, a package of specialty incense sticks, which were, again, very over-priced. I remember thinking in the dream, I am not paying $4.00 for 5 short sticks of incense, that's ridiculous. But I flipped through them to see the scents, and just like the chain and shell necklace tag, the names of the incenses were all gibberish. Except for one: Hecate.

As you know from a previous blog entry, I've been thinking more about starting my relationships with several deities I've felt drawn to over the years, because I've always thought I should wait for messages and with none coming I thought none were meant for me, but I've realized that maybe instead of waiting I should just go for it and see how they respond. Yet, all of a sudden, here we have more! All these years I've never so much as seen a deity's name in a dream, and then I get TWO in ONE DREAM. One of which I wasn't even planning on getting much more into, Hecate. But perhaps my recent participation in a ritual in her honor, and my honest offerings to her, have begun that relationsip already without my conscious decision. I guess it is true that Deity chooses us in the long run, with or without a slight nudge from ourselves.

Apollo. Hecate. Dionysus. Athena. Elen. All have given me a proverbial "thumbs up" in one way or another, whether it be through messages, answered pleas, hijacked ritual experiences, or subtle clues in books. The other deities I've worked with have not been given quite enough attention yet to tell, but all will come in time.

There is so much work to be done.

Blessings~
-C-

Comment question: If you work with deities regularly, how did your relationship with them begin? How has it evolved?

Deity Worship

Hey, Readers,

This is the blog I said I was setting out to do in the last post!

Many of you should already know this, but I'll start with a bit of background. I'm a solitary practitioner most of the time, and I was definitely completely solitary for the majority of my decade-ish of practice (the early years, particularly). My path is Wiccan-based, but also eclectic, having been brought up learning bits and pieces from other cultures and always embracing those things that resonated with me. As I grew to learn more vocabulary and terminology, such as the difference between a hard polytheist and a soft one, or between a polytheist and a pantheist and an omnitheist, I obviously thought a lot about how I see Deity. I did a video for Pagan Perspective last week about how I view Deity and I have a pretty good idea of it now, but I used to not have the vocabulary to describe it.

To catch you up, my view of Deity is basically a cross between a soft polytheistic one and a pantheistic one. I find it hard to choose either one term, and I normally say soft polytheism, though my overall view definitely includes pantheism. In simplest terms possible, I recognize that many deities exist and I may call upon any of them when their realm of expertise is in question, but I think of them not as literal beings but as personifications that humans use to classify something far greater that we cannot understand in simple terms at all. And beyond this, I think that "something far greater" is one thing, ultimately. So yes, I recognize many, but I think they all boil down to one. And not one "God" but one Energy, one Force, one Balance. (This is all part of why I also feel so very at home with the Unitarian Universalist church!) I call this Force-Balance-Energy-Oneness "UE" or Universal Energy, because to me, that's what I'm talking about. I'm talking about the Energy of the whole entire Universe--and maybe parallel Universes, but that's another blog entry.

Finally, to the point, Cara!
Now that you've been appraised of the situation of my mind, I can discuss my thoughts as far as worship. Having these views as described above, I have always found the idea of having a patron God and matron Goddess strange, for me. I view them all as equal and necessary at different times (there is a whole other -theism term for that!), but also all as ultimately one, so... How could I possibly be meant to work with only a few? Could I be drawn to one or two? I know most about these, but then do I just ignore these others? Maybe some are more important to my life now and they'll change later? I don't know, I'll wait and see... That was my thought process, and so for years when people ask me, I've just said that I have not yet felt called to any particular deities, so I work with general Goddess and God. And that has been fine with me. But lately, I've been thinking. And that's dangerous. It leads to change. And to progress. Yikes. =)

So I've been thinking, and I've been wondering whether I've been taking the right approach. I keep asking deity to tell me if I'm meant to work with anyone, and to aid me in becoming closer to the God aspect, but I haven't felt any pull so I thought that meant I was alright where I was. But now I'm thinking maybe it means I just haven't listened very well. I got one brief signal about a particular goddess, and I did more research and thought "This could be something!" but didn't want to start working with her until I KNEW. No other signs came. Well, hello, Cara, that could possibly mean the ball's in your court, I thought! Then, over the summer, I started to develop a strong relationship (or at least a strong pull of one, and I was working toward the relationship part) with the spirit of Willow and Oak. There are two trees in my area that have been landmarks in my life, so I sought to work with them as connections to the divine feminine and masculine, rather than particular deities. Willow came much easier than Oak because I can see her more often, as she is out in the open by the lake and Oak is tucked back in the woods, ringed with prickers and poisonous plants and hornets' nests... Talk about a metaphor for my difficulty connecting to the masculine! Then there have also been other times where I simply honor a deity or speak to them, and even though they're not a deity I've "felt a pull from," or whatever it is I think I'm waiting for, something magickal definitely takes place! I recently prayed to Athena and felt a connection. At Mabon, I honored Dionysus and absolutely felt his welcome. I attended a ritual for Hecate and felt a new appreciation for her, and only since then learned that Willow is also sacred to her. I feel there are connections all around me now, I just felt that I shouldn't presume they were there before enough to act on them...

Thus, my question is this. Especially for those of you who DO work with specific deities, how did you know? And for my case, does it make sense to just go ahead and honor a deity that I'm interested in, or that I feel deserves a bit of notice from me, even though maybe they're not "my" deity? I joked to Dionysus that I'm probably not the kind of witch he'd expect to have as his friend, but I wanted to address him anyway, and I think he showed me a thing or two about who I really am. And I'd never met Hecate but I offered her things that I take very seriously. Another deity I speak to often, I actually learned about from one of my favorite fictional stories! Though, to be fair, it is based on historical events and religious background.

My problem is, admittedly, that I don't want to offend anyone (deity or human) by seeking a relationship that just isn't for me. I mentioned in my last post that I follow Chris' blog and he's a Hellenic polytheist who works with Athena, so is it shallow for me to work with her as an eclectic? Or when I speak to Thor, does it step on the toes of my Norse pantheist friend, Eric, who's made much deeper connections with that pantheon? On any other topic you'd hear me emphatically shout, NO! Of course not! Your connections are PERSONAL and whatever Deity says to YOU is said to YOU. Other people's experiences with the same deity may differ, because you are not the same people! Still, even though I do have a soft view of Deity, I respect each and every one of them in their many, many aspects and cultural forms, and do not ever wish to presume their place in my practice.

I hope to look back on this one day, knowing how long I've been mulling over these ideas, from a place of understanding in whatever I learn in the future. However it turns out, I know I'll laugh at this, for ever taking it quite so seriously. Thanks for being along for the ride.

Blessings~
-C-

Forgiveness & Doing Good

Hey, Readers,

The Universe has a funny way of always knowing what I need to hear. Sometimes this can be summed up with "Ask and you shall receive." Other times, I didn't ask, the Universe just knows better than I do! Haha. In this case, it's the latter.

I was originally coming on here to blog about deity worship, which I will get to in another post, but this must come first. I got on here to write about that, but decided to catch up on the only blog I follow on here, My Hellenic Life, written by PriestChristopher, as he was known on YouTube. I'm very glad that he linked me his blog before he decided to stop using YouTube, because that way I am now able to keep in touch with his writings.

While I was catching up on his past posts, which range in subject matter from politics to statuary to visiting Circle Sanctuary, my mother and I learned that someone we know got ordained as a ULC minister, which my mother is. And this posed a strange question with us, because the person in question is a pagan, so my mother is unsure of why they want to be a minister through a Christian-based (albeit Universal) church, and they also aren't very knowledgeable about paganism, so I'm concerned about whether they're going to go around claiming to be a pagan minister.

Election Day

Cross-posting this from my tumblr.

PRIDE

Today, after work, my mother and I got ready and went to the polls. It didn’t take very long. It was only the second time I’d ever voted. The first time was when I had just turned 18 and graduated high school. I voted for Barack Obama. I was so thrilled when he won, knowing that in my first ever presidential election, I had voted for something that actually turned out to happen. It was a cool feeling. I skipped the next few elections because I was away at school and didn’t care too much about the local issues, not enough to take the time to come home, at least. So today was the second time I’d voted.

I had this weird feeling, like I was just filling out another one of those bubble tests to show how much I’d retained throughout my education. And in a way, it was the same. What had I learned about each candidate, and how their views related to my own? Which one was best for me? It’s just a bubble. It takes two seconds to fill in and then the rest of the ballot, for me at least, is basically just local stuff we’ll vote on again soon anyway. It’s just a bubble and a sticker and a drive home.

And at home, I cried for about an hour. Why? Well, because the people I live with drive me batty. My mother and her husband, that is. Mostly the latter. It was back to just another usual day, full of confusion and anger and sadness at the state of my life, scrambling to pack boxes in a fury so I can get out of here, move in with my Grams, and bid my mother goodbye, and good luck.

I watched Sabrina cartoons and Doctor Who online for hours. I forgot everything (and not just due to the Silence). I forgot that I had worked today. That I had to work tomorrow. That I’m not sure if the guy at work is flirting with me. That I had voted today. That I had missed the turn and mom reminded me where we were going. That I had cried so intensely just a few hours before. That I live with someone who disagrees with everything I stand for. That anything at all was wrong. The only thing I didn’t forget that whole time was my boyfriend and how much I love him, and I never stopped texting him. He was the one that told me, “Obama won!”

Then I remembered.

I remembered that today was a momentous occasion. That something really very important had just been decided in a, truthfully, really strange way. A lot of people in the world—and in my country—agree with my viewpoints, think the way I do, care about the same issues, and care so strongly about those issues that they make it a big part of their lives. And a lot of people just don’t. I think it’s sad that whatever happens, some people have to be upset. I wish we couldall just agree, or live separately with the rules that make us each happy. But we live in a democracy. We had to choose. And I am so, so happy with the choice that was made. Even if you’re not. I can’t be sorry about that.

All day long, I ran through scenarios in my head about living a life where I love the monarch from whom we gained our independence more than I love the leader of my own country. I am happy to say that today is not that day. (Though, I still love her. And England.)

I’ve never liked politics. I’ve never liked history as it was taught in school. I’ve never felt a particular connection to this plot of earth I was born on, or its rules, or its mechanics, or a fair amount of its people. Even four years ago I couldn’t say I did. But today, I feel extremely proud of my country. For, I think, the first time ever. And you know what? I am sorry not everyone could get what they hoped for. But what some people hoped for is a life that takes so much of what I love away. And I’m not sorry they didn’t manage to do that.

Thank you.

I don’t know who I’m thanking. But thanks.

And on this blog, I can add on and say that for one, I am thanking Athena. She is the first deity that really sprang out to me this past year and made me think, I'm so stupid for not hearing her sooner. But I still didn't make the real effort to get to know her personally. I had merely done a bit more research but really added nothing more to what I already knew, just a few small facts here and there. There are other deities I talk to more often, even. But today, at work, surrounded by so many people who are just... ignorant and rude and childish and so close-minded that I know if they knew who I really was, more than just a housekeeper, they would not support me... I simply had to ask for her help. This is such a big issue, and so important to me. I didn't have time to myself, so I just spoke to her while I did my job. Cleaning a room, taking out garbage, I "spoke to [Athena] like [I] was talking to a friend," as the country song says. It was a last plea for a girl who knows better than to be over-confident in her candidate, or in the humanity of her people.

I don't know if it had anything to do with it, but thank you, Athena. There will be proper thanks later on. Right now, I'm sorely upset that I don't have any wine with which to celebrate, and sorely upset that I'm not already out of the house where my mother's husband hates everything I'm celebrating. But, lacking a toast and all my supportive friends at my side, thank you. Thank you, ALL. And good night.

Blessings~
-C-

Samhain Blog!

Today is Samhain (or tonight is, if you go by the night of Oct. 31/day of Nov. 1 rule) and here's what's up!

On Sunday, my UU church had a multigenerational Samhain/Halloween service, meaning the kids were present with the adults instead of having their separate classes, and people dressed in costume and it was a good time. The minister said "SAH-ween" at first, and then as she continued to speak it became more and more altered until she was saying "suh-WEEN." But, oh well. The minister and several other women were dressed as witches (one of whom spoke to me a couple weeks ago about my path), and I have to admit, I was a bit offended at only one point. That was when the minister, who had been wearing a large, pointed "witch" hat with a spiderweb design on it, got up to deliver her homily without the hat. She addressed this first, saying, "I don't feel it would be appropriate to give the homily in a witch hat." At that point I hadn't been wearing my small, headband/hat, so I put it on and said "Why not?"

The truth is, wearing the hat probably would have helped. Remember, the hat is like a visible, physical cone of power, channeling energy from above into you. I didn't find an appropriate time to tell her this because I was too busy chatting with other people, eating sweet potato and lentil soup (we had a soup lunch and placed an extra bowl in the memorial garden for the ancestors), and being a little freaked out in the haunted house that the younger kids made! But I think I will send her an email, at the very least, when I find a moment. It's not right to know a witch or two and not know basic fun facts like that.

Sunday evening, my friend's group had a "not so dumb supper," but I didn't attend because it's an hour in the opposite direction from where I was and I wouldn't have had time to get ready. So instead I made a video giving people ideas for how to celebrate Samhain, and worked on some other things, including packing some more for my approaching move to Grams' house.

As for today, I'm not doing anything fancy or formal. I was supposed to work today, but I asked my boss yesterday for today off in addition to Thursday which I already had off, because some things came up and it would be helpful to not have to work. She didn't even ask my reasons, she just said okay and even put it down as Paid Time Off (though I haven't worked there long enough to earn PTO)! I'm very grateful because instead of working 7:00am until 3:30pm and heading out around 5:00pm, I woke up at 8:30, started my iPod charging, painted some pendants (one of which I need to ship to a customer today and the other which is part of my costume!), and now I have to wrap my boyfriend's presents, type up the blessing I wrote for my friends' wedding, and pack for my trip.

Yes, my trip. Today is Halloween and Samhain and also the magic birthday of my boyfriend! Magic, meaning he turns 31 today, and 31 on the 31st = magic birthday! Mine was my Sweet Sixteen--16 on the 16th. When was yours? Has it passed, or is it still to come?

So today I am driving out of state, 3-3.5 hours, to visit my boyfriend at grad school for his birthday. Since I didn't have to work, I'll be heading out around 1pm in order to arrive around 4:30pm, which should be after he finishes work and before he has to go to class. I'm bringing my laptop and some things to work on so I can do things while he's in class, and tonight we'll probably just dress up and go out somewhere. Then I have to drive back Thursday evening for work on Friday.

I'm speaking very calmly about it now, but I'm really extremely nervous. I've never driven on freeways or interstates, and I've never driven for longer than an hour at a time. But I have the GPS (though it's not showing the route I want to take) and I have maps and directions there AND back. So I do feel quite a bit better about the trip. And I'm very glad to be able to leave at 1pm instead of 5pm because I'll be able to avoid much more traffic and it will not be as dark while I'm driving. And since it's still raining (Hurricane Sandy fringe rain), I'm glad for the daylight and extra elbox room concerning time, so I don't feel that I need to rush. But I'm still nervous, which is why I'm making sure I have plenty of music to listen to along the way and won't have to take my concentration from the road for a moment.

I have several messages to answer on YouTube, but they'll have to wait until I'm settled in at the apartment this evening. I have too much to prepare this morning!

Blessings~
-C-

Tarot & Oracle Stuff

Hey, Readers,

That's an appropriate greeting for this post.

I think one of the stereotypes of witchcraft is that we all read tarot. A girl I follow on Tumblr somewhat recently revealed to her followers that she is a Christian witch, and one of the first questions she got was "Do you read tarot cards?" And I laughed at that, because it was funny to me that as soon as some people hear "witch," even a Christian one, they think of fortune-telling and divination. Now, it turns out she DOES read tarot. I'm not saying it's not an ACCURATE stereotype! But a stereotype, nonetheless. Not every single one of us does it.

That bothered me for years, because even though I was given an oracle deck several years ago and I picked it up pretty quickly, I never felt able to understand tarot. There was a lot more to remember--my oracle deck is based on characters from folklore, and already knowing their stories, it was easier for me to feel "off book" than with tarot where the symbolism was new--and so many people were expecting it of me. My mother is a tarot reader, and she's done shows and parties for people, reading many people's cards to rave reviews. People would always ask if I was also a reader, or if she was teaching me, or, on the rare occasion I would meet someone who would come up to me and say, "You're a reader." Not a question, but a statement.

I've known my whole life that I love symbolism and hidden meaning. I love explaining things and making what looks complicated more simple for people. But I couldn't seem to do that for myself when it came to cards. I still felt like I had to read the meanings to remember, and I didn't like reading the meaning and then applying it to people. I felt like it was no book, or no reading. So for a while I was quite resentful when people thought that my being a witch meant I had to read tarot. I must be a tarot reader, for I was a witch! I didn't like that idea, so I would tell people that I do have an oracle deck but I don't read tarot and I've never read for anyone else because I don't feel ready.

Colorful Magick

Hey, Readers,

I'm actually about to head out the door and become busy for the next few hours, and probably just retire to shower and bed upon my return home. But I wanted to post a quick, quick little thing. It's something I've said probably dozens of times now, between my videos, Pagan Perspective videos, messages to people, conversations, and Tweets.

"White" and "black" magick. *shudder*

Those terms, used seriously, make my eyes roll instantly. This is one of the things that continues to bother me under the surface. While I know it doesn't truly make any difference in the long run, it irks me, still.

Magick is magick.

When we do magick (or magic, however you choose to spell it is fine), we often use color. Or colour. =) I love using color symbolism in my workings, and often, the energy I'm working with will take on a color. So yes, magick involves color. But I simply do not buy that there is such a thing as "white magick" and a thing such as "black magick." Magick is itself, colorless and all colors, beyond categorization like that of a box of crayons. It is a tool, and as such can be used any way the practitioner desires. Magick has the capability of doing good, and of being used for less than good.

I understand that this is what most people mean when they say "white" and "black" magick, but I think some people are still using the terms as though they mean separate things. People will say things like "I practice white magick, I would never do black magick." But that doesn't have anything to do with the magick. The magick you're using can do both. It's YOU that makes the decision. YOU that has the flavor for good or otherwise. I will not say "bad" or "evil" because I don't think that's proper, either. Not in this case. Not all which is not light is bad.

Anyway, I think we could all get a lot more out of life and our practice by doing away with such "black and white" imagery as putting magick, something profound and encompassing of many possibilities, into a box of crayons. The colors in this case are symbols, no more. Visual aids.

Magick is the box the colors are in, and the hammer and nails or clay or stone used to create it, and the carpenter or sculptor or some such creator. Magick is so much more.

Blessings~
-C-

P.S. There is a video on my channel about this, which I'll link later on. Or search it for yourself, YouTube username cutewitch772, video name "What is Magick?" I think. Cheers.